A whole lotta noise

After a disasterous week, school-wise (which still isn't over unfortunately) I needed to take a break, so I caught a late show at the budget theater and saw Shoot 'Em Up. In one way, it was probably an excellent movie at this point, because the film was anything but cerebral.

I knew going in that the drawing point of this movie was the unapologetic shootout scenes. And for the most part, they delivered. This movie is chock full of ridiculous gunplay and violence. On top of that, they are all done in a highly stylized manner that is not seen in most films. As impressive as they are, they can only take the movie so far. Anybody can sit in their basement thinking up unique ways to shoot at people while defying the laws of physics. But if you have nothing to hold those scenes together with, then they are wasted. In the case of this movie, what connects those action scenes together is a bunch of eye-rolling coincidences that are supposed to be considered plot points.

If you don't know at this point, the "premise" of the film is that Clive Owen plays a mysterious man, named Mr. Smith, who happens to run into a pregnant woman who is being hunted by hitman. The woman is killed, but not before giving birth to a boy, who Clive Owen decides he must protect while taking out the mother's killers. The rest of the movie then is a bunch of *surprise* shoot em up scenes between Smith and the bad guys. Oh yeah, and he finds Monica Bellucci, playing a hooker, along the way and has her help him watch the baby.

The reason why the bad guys - led by Paul Giamatti, doing his best to ham it up - want the baby dead is utterly preposterous, but I suppose it doesn't matter in a movie like this. Although it really should considering that we're watching Smith go to these extreme lengths to save it.

I'm not surprised that this movie did poorly at the box office. I cannot imagine any woman who would want to see this movie. They would all be horrified at all of the scenes in which the baby is in harm's way while Smith and the bad guys shoot it out. You would think that you would get desensitized to it after a while, but with the way they continue to amp up the violence throughout the movie that each scene is just as jarring as the first.

This movie reminded me in a lot of ways to another violently graphic film this year, Smokin' Aces. Both films gave off the appearance that they had a unique story surrounded by even more unique violence. But in each case, they were more content with firing off their weapons then having anything to say. Unlike the wounds of the victims of this movies, the story remains skin deep.

If you're in the mood for blood lust, this movie will easily satisfy your appetite. For anyone looking for a more fulfilling experience, you're better off looking elsewhere. Shoot Em Up is nothing more than a showcase for boys and their toys. Consider this one a major disappointment. Grade: C-