Royal Rumble Rewind: 2011

So we come to the end of our journey with a look back at last year's show. The 2011 edition of the Rumble once again tried to change the formula - this time by having 40 entrants in the match. As you'll see, this was not a case where the motto 'bigger is better' is true. I hope you've appreciated this look back at the Rumble match and will enjoy the 2012 edition tonight. As is typically the case, there should be a number of surprises and hopefully a winner we can all support. One thing's for sure, tonight will properly get us onto the 'Road to Wrestlemania'.

2011 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the TD Garden in Boston, MA

Last year’s Rumble MVP, C.M Punk gets the unfortunate luck of drawing #1. At this point, he was the leader of the (new) Nexus. Before #2 comes out, the entire group of the Corre (dumbest stable name ever) come out and surround Punk. They attack him, prompting the rest of the Nexus to run out and even the odds. As they brawl, the anonymous RAW GM sends an email ordering their fight to stop. He sends everyone but Punk to the back or else face removal from the match. Frankly I hope they stay so we don’t have to see them again later in an official capacity. As the crowd chants for Punk, the official #2 entrant, Daniel Bryan makes his way out to the ring. The two have some nice fast-paced back and forth action to start. Bryan connects with a missile dropkick but then misses a charge in the corner. #3 is the first Corre member, Justin Gabriel. Punk and Bryan clothesline each other which allows Gabriel to attempt the 450 splash. Punk moves out of the way and Bryan is able to throw the beaten Gabriel out of the ring. Zack Ryder is #4 and he goes right after Bryan. These three guys would be in much higher positions in the company by year’s end. Ryder charges at Bryan who is able to move and hiptoss him out of the ring. And we go from rising star to cagey veteran as William Regal comes out at #5. He lays some stiff shots in on both Bryan and Punk. Now Bryan lays out Punk and Regal with kicks. Ted Dibiase is the #6 entrant and he goes after Bryan. As Dibiase tries to get rid of Punk, Bryan brutalizes Regal with a series of kicks. #7 is John Morrison and he takes out everyone including delivering a C4 to Bryan. Dibiase manages to get Morrison on the apron. Regal then bumps him off, but Morrison manages to hop onto the guardrail without touching the floor. Morrison then walks the rail and hops back onto the ring steps and reenters the ring. That was pretty sweet. Meanwhile, as we were fixated on him, Regal was eliminated by Dibiase. We’ve paired off now with Dibiase and Morrison fighting and Bryan trying to eliminate Punk. Someone who’s thankful that the Rumble has 40 guys this year is Yoshi Tatsu, who’s out at #8. Nothing of note happens as our second Nexus member, Husky Harris is the #9 entrant. He comes in and plays bodyguard for his leader, Punk. #10 is Chavo Guerrero who continues to sponge off Eddie’s name by giving Dibiase the Three Amigos. That gets interrupted by Punk, so Chavo gives it to him instead. However, he gets interrupted again by Morrison, so Chavo tries it on him. One more interruption by Bryan ends with Chavo completing the move on Bryan. Chavo gets a nice pop for that.

We might get some ring clearing now because Mark Henry enters at #11. Chavo tries to hit him with a high crossbody, but Henry catches him and pitches him to the floor. Tatsu tries to attack Henry, so Henry retaliates by clotheslining him out of the ring. Henry finally gets stopped by a double attack from Punk and Harris. #12 is JTG and he always seems to luck out and get a spot in this match. This match is in need of some star power, however we don’t get it because another Nexus member, Michael McGuillicutty is #13. He does make an impact, however, by quickly eliminating JTG. He and Harris team up and are also able to eliminate Dibiase. The string of Superstars mainstays continues as Chris Masters enters at #14. He gets Punk in the Masterlock and nearly eliminates him before Nexus makes the save. It’s more Nexus members as David Otunga is the #15 entrant. He joins his Nexus brethren in eliminating Bryan, Masters, Morrison, and Henry. Only Nexus members remain in the ring as Tyler Reks (who?) comes out at #16. He doesn’t have the chance of getting one offensive move in before the Nexus eliminate him as well. Vladimir Koslov is the #17 entrant and he receives the same treatment. They eliminate him and pose as they wait for their next victim. We could use for Punk to get on the mic during these breaks. #18 is R-Truth, who runs to the ring seemingly undeterred by the fact that there’s a gang waiting for him. Punk mocks his ‘What’s Up’ catchphrase and then throws him out. Crowd is quickly growing restless with this. The Great Khali waddles out at #19 and I doubt, despite his size, that he’ll make much of a difference. I stand corrected though because he manages to take them down and eliminate Harris. However, just as we think that this will be the end of their dominance, the final Nexus member, Mason Ryan enters at #20. He attacks Khali and manages to throw him out, leaving us once again with only Nexus members in the ring.

In our first surprise of the night, the six time WCW champion, Booker T enters at #21. Big crowd pop for him. He initially holds his own and takes down the Nexus members long enough to perform the Spinarooni. He gets close to eliminating Punk, but Ryan comes up behind him and throws out Booker instead. #22 is John Cena and I think we can safely say the reign of Nexus will finally be coming to an end. He’s able to divide and conquer and eliminates Ryan, Otunga, and McGuillicutty and short order. Cena and Punk square off in a match up that would get much more interesting a few months later. Cena escapes a GTS attempt and both men clothesline each other. With both men down, Hornswoggle comes out at #23. He taunts Punk, who shoves him down. Good!! Punk gets Cena up again, but Cena escapes and manages to pitch out Punk. Not pleased about that one. Cena then helps Hornswoggle up. If Cena wanted to earn some favor with the crowd he’d launch him into the 8th row, but he instead opts to form an alliance with him. Tyson Kidd comes out at #24 and gets double-teamed by the two of them, which includes an FU by Hornswoggle. He gets eliminated shortly after that. The second Corre member to enter, Heath Slater is #25. He receives a 5 knuckle shuffle from both of them and then gets hit with the tadpole splash by Hornswoggle. Cena quickly pitches him after that. The only saving grace about this sequence is that they’re jobbing out worthless talent. Kofi Kingston is #26 and we’ll see what happens now that it’s another face in there. He actually locks up with Cena as Hornswoggle stands by and watches. That goes nowhere as Jack Swagger enters at #27. He takes down both Cena and Kingston. Hornswoggle shoves Swagger, which is enough of a distraction to allow Kingston to hit him with a high crossbody. Now Kingston and Hornswoggle hit Swagger with the Boom Drop. Sheamus runs out at #28 and I hope he destroys that horrible little nasty stereotype that’s in the ring. He comes in and attacks everyone else. When he spots Hornswoggle he shoves him down. Hornswoggle gets back up and tunes up the band. He hits Sweet Shin Music, but Sheamus quickly recovers and picks him up. He sets him on the top rope and then hits him with the Brogue Kick to punt him out of the match. Thank goodness. We get back to normalcy as Rey Mysterio enters at #29. He slides into the ring and is immediately caught by Swagger. As he tries to hit Swagger with a 619, Sheamus intercepts him with a clothesline. Swagger charges at Mysterio in the corner, but Mysterio heaves him onto the apron. As Swagger tries to reenter, Mysterio hits him with a 619 that knocks him to the floor. With everyone down, the next Corre member, Wade Barrett comes out at #30.

Kingston stomps away at Barrett in the corner as Dolph Ziggler makes history by being the first ever #31 entrant into the Rumble. It should also be noted that Ziggler already wrestled and lost to the World Champion, Edge earlier tonight. Cena, Kingston, and Mysterio team up to try and eliminate Barrett, but they’re unsuccessful. In yet another surprise entrant, #32 is Big Daddy Cool Diesel, who gets an even bigger pop than Booker. Barrett goes right after him but gets knocked down. Diesel catches Kingston and hits him with Snake Eyes. He even knocks down Cena with a clothesline. Drew McIntyre is the #33 entrant and he quickly teams up with Sheamus to take on Diesel. A ‘Let’s Go Diesel’ chant breaks out. Mysterio hits Diesel with the 619, which draws boos. The Miz’s protégé, Alex Riley enters at #34. He runs in and immediately gets punched by Cena. Meanwhile Barrett manages to dump out Diesel, which the crowd does not like. As the action continues, the Miz joins the commentary team. #35 is Big Show who has a brief staredown with Diesel in the aisle before entering the match. He knocks down everyone who comes in his path. Show grabs Ziggler and heaves him out of the ring. Cena and Kingston work together and manage to eliminate Riley, something that the commentary team, including Miz, completely miss. The final Corre member, Ezekiel Jackson is the #36 entrant. As he runs down Show manages to throw out McIntyre. Jackson clips Show in the leg and then heaves him out of the ring. Miz says that Riley is being very smart right now, apparently oblivious to the fact that was eliminated minutes ago. Santino Marella runs out at #37 and goes after Sheamus. Sheamus recovers and hits Santino with a Brogue Kick. That shot causes Santino to be knocked out of the ring, but under the bottom rope. Driving out to the ring in a Bentley is Alberto Del Rio at #38. As he postures in the aisle, Matt Stryker finally figures out that Riley was eliminated. Del Rio still hasn’t made it to the ring yet when Randy Orton runs out at #39. Orton also lost a world title match earlier tonight. He clotheslines Del Rio from behind and then sends him into the steps. He brings Del Rio into the ring and gives him the RKO. He then gives one to Sheamus and Kingston as well. He eliminates both Sheamus and Kingston after that. Orton and Cena have a staredown which draws zero response from the crowd. I absolutely love that their staredown was met with such apathy. They wanted to have an iconic moment in the same way whenever Austin/Rock, Michaels/Jannetty, or Santana/Martel met in the ring and yet nothing. Rounding out the field is Kane at #40. He comes in and punches everyone in his way.

Jackson charges at him, but Kane ducks and causes him to fall out of the ring. Kane catches Mysterio coming off the top rope. Before he can chokeslam him, Mysterio reverses it into a ‘rana that eliminates Kane. While still on the apron, Mysterio gets knocked to the floor by Barrett. We’re seemingly down to the final four of Cena, Orton, Del Rio and Barrett. From my perspective that’s a weak quartet, although the brain trust that run this company would disagree. Cena and Orton staredown again and it’s one again met with silence. To quote Nelson Muntz, ‘haw haw’. Despite being down to these last few guys, we’re still getting some pretty generic fighting between them. Suddenly Alex Riley runs back down and distracts Cena. That allows Miz to run into the ring and throw Cena out. I have to imagine that was not how that was originally supposed to play out. Riley likely got eliminated earlier than he was supposed to and that was the audible. Now Del Rio and Barrett team up against Orton. Orton recovers long enough to toss out Barrett, however, Del Rio quickly runs up behind him and throws out Orton. Del Rio begins to celebrate his victory, but suddenly Santino Marella, who had never been eliminated, reemerges. Del Rio turns around and gets hit with the Cobra. The crowd is loving this. Santino goes to throw Del Rio, but Del Rio reverses course midstream and pitches out Santino instead. Now Del Rio can officially celebrate his win.

Bottom Line: They added 10 more guys to this match and yet the roster still seemed weaker than in other recent years. We really did not need nearly a tenth of the roster to be comprised of Nexus and Corre members. Their presence also created the major sag in the middle of the match where either they or the Cena/Hornswoggle duo were dominating. On the plus side, there were a couple nice surprises and it also attempted to set up some Wrestlemania feuds. While I give them credit for trying to promote a new star in Del Rio, I think hindsight may prove that they made the wrong call by giving him the win. In fact, I think I would have rather had Santino win here, only to have him lose the title shot sometime before Wrestlemania. It would have given the match a feel-good ending and could have actually built Del Rio’s heel heat further by having him win the title shot in a more nefarious manner later down the line. This was not a strong Rumble and time (albeit only a year) has not been kind to it. ** ¾

RBR: Real Steel

When there are actual movies being developed on board games like Battleship, you wonder why this film was not called by its inspiration - Rock'em Sock'em robots. In Real Steel, Hugh Jackman plays a washed up boxer who now spends his career fighting robots remotely. Early on in the film he learns he has a son who he must now watch after the boy's mother passes away. Soon the two bond over the constructing and training of a robot named Atom, who may or may not possess skills beyond most robots. If all of this sounds corny and familiar, you're right. The film liberally borrows plot devices and themes from films like Rocky, The Champ, Over the Top and, Transformers. It would be easy to criticize such lazy storytelling, but the problem is that the ideas they use are crowd-pleasers and they work here as well. You can't help but get invested in seeing them form a bond and watch the robot be victorious. And I will definitely give the film credit for visually making the robot fights look very impressive. The biggest drawback of the film is its runtime and usage of that time. There's no reason why this film should have been over two hours long. Subplots involving the boy teaching the robot to dance and a loan shark chasing after Jackman's character seem superfluous and could have easily been edited out of the film. In fact, the time spent on those scenes should have been used to more firmly establish the film's villain. Both the champion robot and its handlers are not developed enough to make us root that hard against them. The finish to the final battle in the film certainly leaves the door wide open for a sequel, so I hope when they make the next film, they correct some of these issues and perhaps delve into more of the science fiction aspects of the story that were only loosely covered in this first outing. This is no cinematic classic, but it uses a tried-and-true formula effectively to make it entertaining. The cast gives good performances (with the exception of the kid who's brash attitude can be grating at times) and the robot battles are a lot of fun. If the subject matter interests you at all, this is definitely worth a rental. Rating: *** 1/2

Royal Rumble Rewind: 2010

As we get closer to the end, we look back at the 2010 Rumble which featured another surprising return who managed to come back and win it all

2010 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the Phillips Arena in Atlanta, GA

#1 is Dolph Ziggler, who’s theme song claims he is perfection. He’ll need to be if he’s to win this match. He’ll begin this match against Evan Bourne, who is #2. Bourne uses his speed to gain an early advantage. A standing dropkick by Ziggler nearly sends Bourne out. A sloppy ‘rana by Bourne puts Ziggler on the apron. Ziggler hits the Zig Zag, but Bourne recovers and connects with Air Bourne. Out to save us all is C.M. Punk at #3. Punk makes quick work of both guys, sending them out and to the floor. He then asks Serena to get him a mic. Punk says those two were just the first of 27 others who will be saved tonight. #4 is JTG, who must have once again won the coin toss. He foolishly tries for a 10-punch count on Punk who dumps him to the floor. And now we get more sermonizing. He claims he’ll be the first straight-edged Rumble winner. To do so, he’ll have to go through The Great Khali, who is #5. Punk tells Khali he can make him greater. He asks Khali to raise his hand and make a pledge. Khali chops him instead. As Khali applies the head vice, the second woman ever to enter the Rumble, Beth Phoenix, is the #6 entrant. Khali picks her up and places her on the apron. Beth grabs Khali and lays a big kiss on him that sends him over the top rope and to the floor. Beth now goes after Punk and attempts to eliminate him. He escapes and hits her with the GTS. As Zack Ryder comes out at #7, Punk easily dumps out Beth. Punk asks Ryder if he’d like to join the Straight Edge Society and then nails him with the microphone. It doesn’t take too much more after that to eliminate him as well. A ‘C.M. Punk’ chant begins. He has been ruling the Rumble thus far. Punk says he is better than whoever will come out next. #8 is Triple H and yet somehow I don’t think that Punk will recant his statement. HHH comes in and takes it right to Punk. As HHH connects with a spinebuster, Drew McIntyre enters at #9. He takes his time coming to the ring. HHH meets him when he does get in the ring and hits him with a running knee. Punk attempts the GTS on HHH, but he blocks it and throws him out. That is very disappointing. #10 is Ted Dibiase and he goes after HHH. Dibiase and McIntrye begin to team up to work over HHH. Matt Striker is already beginning to grate on me with his moronic rhetoric questions that he tries so hard to make profound.

John Morrison enters at #11 and he attacks both Dibiase and McIntyre. Hard to believe this is the first time tonight that we’ve as many as four guys in the match. Morrison connects (sort of) with Starship Pain on McIntyre, but then gets clotheslined by HHH. #12 is Kane and he enters with a flying clothesline on HHH. He takes down everyone in the ring but has yet to eliminate anyone yet. He chokeslams HHH as Cody Rhodes comes out at #13. He saves his partner Dibiase who was nearly eliminated thanks to Kane. Rhodes sends Morrison to the apron, but he hangs on. Morrison reenters the ring by springing off the top rope, but Rhodes hits him with a dropkick in midair. MVP is #14, but before he can make it to the ring, The Miz runs out and nails him with the U.S. title. Legacy work on eliminating HHH while Morrison hits a spin kick on McIntyre. Carlito enters at #15 and I had honestly forgotten he was still employed with the company at this point. He begins to hit the Backstabber on several of the guys in the ring. And after briefly appearing a moment ago, The Miz officially enters at #16. Suddenly MVP runs out from the back and goes after The Miz. He tackles Miz causing both of them to fall out and be eliminated. #17 is Fat…er…I mean, Matt Hardy. He earns Bushwacker status by entering the match and going to the top rope only to be shoved out by Kane. However, HHH comes up behind Kane and throws him out as well. Now HHH hits everyone left in the ring with a spinebuster. HHH attempts to Pedigree Rhodes, but McIntyre clips him from behind. Shawn Michaels is the #18 entrant and he enters the match on a mission. He desperately wants to fight The Undertaker at Wrestlemania and can do so by winning this match. He makes an immediate impact by backdropping Carlito out of the ring. He then pitches out both Rhodes and Dibiase. He avoids a Morrison kick and throws him out as well. Michaels and HHH team up and eliminate McIntyre. We’re down to HHH and Michaels, but before they can fight, John Cena enters at #19. He goes after both members of DX. He hits the five knuckle shuffle on both of them, which draws boos from the crowd. Cena tries to eliminate Michaels, but HHH makes the save. HHH hits the Pedigree on Cena. When he stands up Michaels hits him with Sweet Chin Music, which knocks him out of the ring. Big shocker there! There truly are no friends in this match. As we still recover from seeing that, Shelton Benjamin comes out at #20. Why do I have the feeling he’s once again going to be a victim of Michaels. Benjamin actually manages to hit Michaels with a few moves. However, when he goes for his finisher on Cena, it’s Cena who actually dumps him out of the ring. I guess Michaels got bored eliminating him year after year.

#21 is Yoshi Tatsu and somehow I don’t think he’s going to be able to hold his own against Cena and Michaels. He gets some token offense in, but soon Cena clotheslines him out of the ring. We’re back to Cena and Michaels. The Big Show is the #22 entrant and he’ll likely have better success than Tatsu. Show grabs Michaels and puts him on the apron, but Michaels begins to pull Show out with him. Neither is eliminated. Cena attempts to throw Michaels out, but he skins the cat to come back in. Hey Kool Aid! Oh nevermind, it’s just Mark Henry out at #23. He gets in Show’s face and they begin to slug it out. After Cena joins the attack, Henry is able to slam the Big Show. Cena gets Henry up for the FU, but his weight causes Cena to buckle. #24 is Chris Masters and nobody cares. Why couldn’t he have been quick fodder for Punk earlier in the match? Masters whips Michaels, who does his flip flop and fly sell. However, Show quickly grabs him and throws him out. As Henry tries to eliminate the Big Show, R-Truth runs out at #25. He comes up behind both Show and Henry and dumps them both to the floor. What did he do to deserve that push?? Now he manages to hit a scissors kick on Cena. It’s the All-American America Jack Swagger out at #26. He goes after everyone in the ring. Swagger clotheslines Michaels out, but once again Shawn finds a way to hang on. #27 is Kofi Kingston and he enters by hitting a high crossbody on Swagger. As Swagger tries to eliminate Kingston, Kofi reverses it into a ‘rana that sends Swagger to the floor instead. Kingston hits a 10-punch count on R-Truth. Truth then dumps Kingston to the apron. Kingston, however, uses a legscissors to pull Truth out of the ring and send him to the floor. Chris Jericho comes out at #28 and goes after Cena. Good. Cena recovers and hits him with the FU. Michaels then hits Jericho with the flying elbow. Michaels tunes up the band, but Kingston hits him with Trouble in Paradise instead. Cena then grabs Kingston and pitches him out of the ring. Cena turns around and Jericho hits him with the Codebreaker. And in a big surprise, it’s Edge at #29. He has been out with an injury since last May. He immediately attacks Jericho, who’s badmouthed him since he’s been gone. Edge hits spears on Jericho, Michaels and Cena. Edge then throws out Jericho. #30 is Batista, who automatically becomes part of the Final Four along with Edge, Michaels, and Cena. Man, I could easily see any one of these guys winning it. Batista comes in and takes down everyone. Batista foolishly takes time to taunt, which allows Edge to spear him. Now it’s Michaels who begins to get his second wind. He hits flying elbows on both Cena and Batista. He then hits Sweet Chin Music on both of them. Edge clotheslines Michaels and they both fall over the top rope and onto the apron. Michaels kicks Edge back into the ring, but then Batista knocks Michaels off the apron to eliminate him. Michaels is absolutely heartbroken, no pun intended. He begins to flip out knowing he lost his chance to face The Undertaker. He throws a referee down and then superkicks another one before leaving despondent. Meanwhile things continue in the ring as Batista attempts the Batista Bomb on Cena. Cena blocks it and backdrops him. Batista charges at Cena, who pulls the top rope down causing Batista to fall out. Edge goes for a spear on Cena, but he avoids it. However, when he makes a charge, Edge sidesteps him and pitches him out for the victory.

Bottom Line: This was almost the opposite of last year’s Rumble as they kept things very streamlined. There were hardly any slow spots or periods with too many guys in there. You also had a lot of fun or entertaining moments like Punk’s sermonizing, Michaels coming up short in his quest to win and Edge’s surprise return. However, there were also a number of small aspects that could have made this match even better. I felt like there were some missed opportunities to set up the eventual Wrestlemania matches better. Since Batista would face Cena, I would have liked for Batista to be more instrumental in causing Cena to be eliminated. I also would have liked more interaction between Edge and Jericho for the same reason. Still these are minor quibbles in an otherwise strong Rumble. **** ¼

Bowling for Votes deleted scenes

Royal Rumble Rewind: 2009

While the winner of the '08 Rumble had been a huge surprise that no one saw coming, one year later the winner of the Rumble was painfully obvious. Lacking that surprise really puts a damper on this match as it heads towards its inevitable conclusion.

2009 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, MI

The man who holds the longevity record, Rey Mysterio, gets a chance to best his own time as he’s this year’s #1 entrant. Let’s hope this year he doesn’t spend the entire match lying on the ground. He’ll begin by squaring off against #2 John Morrison. Rey goes for a bulldog, but Morrison blocks it and nearly throws Mysterio out in the process. Mysterio reenters and tosses Morrison over. He dangles from the top rope, but does not hit the ground. # 3 is Carlito and he goes after both guys. Carlito gets tossed onto the apron, but he hangs on. He comes back in with a springboard moonsault on Morrison. Some impressive near eliminations thus far. MVP is out at #4 and gets a nice chant from the crowd despite being in the midst of a losing streak at this time. He attempts the Ballin’ elbow on Morrison, but Mysterio blocks it. MVP hits Mysterio with a suplex and then completes the elbow drop. The string of athletic competitors comes to a halt as The Great Khali comes out at #5. Everybody goes after him, but he knocks everyone down. Khali is the only guy standing, but nobody has been eliminated yet. Our world tour continues with the big Russia, Vladimir Koslov out at #6. He goes after Khali and manages to single-handledly eliminate him with a clothesline. MVP attempts to hit Koslov with a running kick, but he avoids it. Koslov then dumps MVP out. Carlito tries his luck, but Koslov catches him with a spinebuster. He throws him out shortly thereafter. Before he can do anymore damage, Triple H enters at #7. The two of them tangle and after Koslov gets hit with a facebuster, HHH is able to throw him out of the ring. #8 is Randy Orton who enters the match surrounded in controversy after punting Vince McMahon in the head the past week on RAW. He comes in and goes right after HHH. Orton attempts the RKO, but HHH blocks it. As he tries for the Pedigree, Morrison comes over and hits him with a kick. Then Mysterio nails Orton with a plancha. He follows that up with a 619 on Morrison. Both members of Cryme Time come out at #9 and they flip a coin to decide who will actually get to enter. JTG wins the flip and Shad learns after the fact that it was a two-headed coin. Cute. Meanwhile no one is close to being eliminated at the moment. #10 is Ted Dibiase (Jr.) who was part of Orton’s Legacy group at the time. Dibiase throws both JTG and Morrison over the top rope, but both hang on. As they hang on the top rope, they both begin to kick and fight each other, however neither is successful in knocking the other guy down. Meanwhile, Mysterio sends Dibiase over the top rope and nearly eliminates him. Credit to everyone thus far for some daredevil moves to avoid elimination.

Things just got a whole lot more interesting with Mr. Serious Chris Jericho out at #11. He goes after HHH which is a strategy I wouldn’t recommend if you want to stay in the match. Jericho blocks a Pedigree attempt and then tries to put on the Walls of Jericho, but HHH powers out of that. HHH throws Jericho over and he has a near elimination of his own. #12 is Mike Knox who immediately goes after Mysterio. While most guys are fighting, Orton and Dibiase gather in a corner to strategize. Morrison’s tag partner, The Miz enters at #13. He manages to get a shot in on everyone. Orton hits RKOs on Morrison, Miz, and JTG. His onslaught is stopped by HHH, who hits him with a Pedigree. HHH grabs Morrison and whips him into the Miz, causing both guys to fall over the top rope and to the ground. Mysterio gets thrown out, but he walks on the backs of Morrison and Miz to avoid touching the ground and reenter the ring. Man, another innovative spot. Finlay is the #14 entrant and fights everyone that comes near him. He comes close to eliminating Dibiase, but Orton makes the save. And now Orton’s group gets stronger as the other Legacy member, Cody Rhodes enters at #15. The three of them gang up and attack the rest of the entrants in the ring. Mysterio tries a springboard move on Orton, but Orton catches him with an RKO. Man, if Mysterio had been this active and innovative in ’06, I would not have minded him getting the longevity record. #16 is GONG!, The Undertaker. Everybody backs up bracing for him to enter the ring. He strikes everyone in sight and then throws out JTG. He hits Rhodes with Snake Eyes and a big boot. Speaking of Rhodes, his older brother, Dustin, aka Goldust comes out at #17. The two brothers have a staredown before Goldust knocks him down with a right hand. He backdrops Cody over the top rope, but he manages to hang on. Orton helps his friend by giving Goldust an RKO. He then orders Rhodes to throw out Goldust, which he does. #18 is C.M. Punk and he everyone with kicks and knees. HHH attempts to hit him with a Pedigree, but Punk escapes and connects with the GTS on him. Wow! Punk should savor that moment. Mark Henry is the #19 entrant. Way too many guys in there right now with no one close to being eliminated. Shelton Benjamin is out at #20 and he must be thrilled that Shawn Michaels is not entered into this year’s Rumble match. Punk and Jericho precariously fight with each other on the top rope. Benjamin hops up there with both of them and takes both guys down to the mat. HHH tosses Punk, but he manages to hang on.

William Regal is out at #21 and I don’t see him being the guy that will help thin the herd. He goes after Punk, who just recently beat him for the Intercontinental title. A big boot by the Undertaker eliminates Mark Henry off camera. #22 is Kofi Kingston and hits everyone in sight. Although with as many guys in the right as there are right now, he barely has to move and he can hit someone. Taker catches a flying Benjamin and slams him to the mat. He then casually dumps him out of the ring. Meanwhile Mysterio has wrapped himself upside down around the ring post in order to avoid elimination. Kane is the #23 entrant and hopefully he can do some house cleaning. Kane and Taker have a face off and decide they’ll team up this year. They chokeslam Dibiase together. Meanwhile Punk manages to pull Regal over the top rope and send him to the floor. What’s up? Well R-Truth is out at #24. That’s what’s up. A numbers of guys team up to get rid of Kane, but they are unsuccessful. In a surprise return, Rob Van Dam enters at #25. He jumps in and hits Kane with a kick. A big RVD chant breaks out. As he hits Rolling Thunder on HHH and R-Truth, THE Brian Kendrick enters at #26. As Kingston does a 10 punch count on Knox, Kendrick runs up and shoves Kingston out of the ring. HHH then grabs Kendrick and immediately pitches him out of the ring. That may be the fastest elimination for someone who also manages to eliminate someone else. RVD throws Punk over the top rope, and he has another close elimination. #27 is Dolph Ziggler who sprints to the ring. He introduces himself to Kane, who takes his hand and immediately throws him out of the ring. #28 is Santino Marella. Upon entering the ring, he is immediately and I do mean immediately clotheslined right back out by Kane. That just broke the Warlord’s 2 second record. Crowd is legitimately bummed about that quick exit thought. Thus far the high numbers have not been very lucky. It’s another surprise at #29 as the very first Rumble winner, Hacksaw Jim Duggan comes out at #29. Crowd starts a USA chant. He should have been the guy to get the one second elimination. Finally at #30 is the Big Show and we can only hope he finally clears the ring of the midcarders.

He opts to square off against Taker instead. But before they can go at, Kane hits Show with an uppercut. Duggan comes over and tries to slam Show, but you can imagine how that goes. Show quickly dumps Duggan after that foolish attempt. Jericho hops on Show’s back and applies a sleeper. Show breaks out of it with a sideslam. Show grabs R-Truth and press slams him out of the ring. Show throws Punk out three times, but each time he manages to hang on. However, on the third save, Show walks over and punches him to send him to the floor. Meanwhile Mysterio and Knox have been eliminated, but the camera failed to capture how it happened. Hornswoggle comes in for some reason and goes after Kane. Kane easily swats him away and then eliminates Finlay. Not sure what the point of that was. Replays show that Big Show had eliminated Knox and Mysterio as they were fighting each other. Orton grabs HHH and hits him with a DDT from the second rope. Show and Taker now go at it slugging each other. RVD hits the five star frog splash on Orton, but as he gets up, Jericho throws him out of the ring. As Jericho smiles at his work, he turns around and gets attacked by Taker. Jericho manages to hit Taker with the codebreaker, but when he attempts a clothesline, Taker sidesteps him and dumps him out of the ring. As Kane attacks Orton, Dibiase and Rhodes run up behind him and throw him out. Legacy now work together on Taker while Show goes after HHH. Taker fights back and manages to deliver a chokeslam to all three of them. Taker boots Show, but he too manages to hang on. Taker tries to knock Show off the apron, but Orton comes over and attempts an RKO. Taker blocks that effort, but when he goes back over to Show, he gets pulled over the top rope. As they fight on the apron, Orton comes over and jawjacks Show to knock him to the floor. Taker continues to fight Legacy from the apron when Show yanks him to the floor. Taker and Show continue their brawl on the floor. Meanwhile, we’re down to the Final Four consisting of HHH and all three Legacy members. I don’t like those odds. The three of them triple-team HHH with Orton barking out orders. Orton goes for an RKO, but HHH shoves him off. As HHH attempts to Pedigree Rhodes, Orton comes over. HHH manages to backdrop Orton, but he hangs onto the apron. HHH completes the Pedigree on Rhodes and then throws out Dibiase. HHH grabs Rhodes and throws him out as well. However as he does that, Orton comes back in and comes up behind HHH to dump him out and win the match. Legacy then celebrate together in the ring to zero response from the crowd.

Bottom Line: Man, that was a rather uninspired finish to the match. I don’t care for Orton winning at all, but they at least could have done something more creative. Having Legacy team up killed the whole ‘every man for himself’ mantra associated with the match. The lack of response by the crowd proves they didn’t do a good job in either choosing a winner or effectively closing the match. As for the rest of the Rumble, I did like the number of creative near eliminations that several guys exhibited. That was a lot of fun. However, they needed more eliminations spread out throughout the match. Too many guys were still in there at the end and no one had the ability to do much other than punch and kick before the mass exodus in the closing minutes. This one is a definite drop in quality over last year’s. *** ¼

RBR: 50/50

Dealing with a subject like cancer in a film can be difficult. Trying to blend comedy and drama in a film about cancer - even harder. And yet somehow, the people behind 50/50 not only manage to pull it off, but make it look easy in the process. Joseph Gordon-Levitt turns in yet another great performance as Adam, the young man who learns he has a rare form of spinal cancer. Not only does he have to deal with his cancer, he also has to deal with people who are trying to deal with the fact that he has cancer. I really appreicated the insight the film has on interpersonal communication as it relates to this subject. The interactions Adam has with his doctor, his grief counselor (played by Anna Kendrick), his mother (Anjelica Huston), his girlfriend (Bryce Dallas Howard), and everyone else in his life feel realistic and illuminating. Sometimes people are the most insensitive when they're trying their hardest to be sensitive. I should also point out that Seth Rogen, who plays Adam's best friend, gives his best performance in years here. He provides some great laughs, yet never belittles the situation or takes you out of the moment. His character is nothing he hasn't played before, yet his personal connection to the story (the film is loosely based on Will Reiser who wrote the film and is a good friend of Rogen's) enables him to be more authentic here. If I had to quibble, it's that I felt the film was a bit short and actually could have expanded more on some of its subplots. That aside, this is a terrific little film with a superb cast that has sadly gotten overlooked this awards season. Even with the heavy subject matter, you would be doing yourself a favor and checking this one out. Rating: **** 1/2

Royal Rumble Rewind: 2008

Madison Square Garden was once again the setting for the Rumble in 2008 and as usual, the New York crowd was as boisterous as ever. Thankfully the WWE gave them plenty to respond as a result of several surprises sprinkled throughout the match including a major one at the very end.

2008 Royal Rumble

Emanating from Madison Square Garden in New York City, NY

In the ‘why haven’t they thought about doing this sooner’ category, Mr. ‘Let’s Get Ready to Rumble’, Michael Buffer does the ring announcements to open the match. Things get off to a very interesting start as our first two entrants this year, are the same as last year’s final two entrants – The Undertaker and Shawn Michaels. Michaels attempts to use his speed to his advantage, but Taker quickly overtakes him with his power. Taker goes for a running boot, but Michaels avoids it. #3 is Santino Marella and I don’t like his chances. He tries to prove he can hang with the two future hall of famers, but Michaels quickly superkicks him. Taker then dumps his limp body out. Michaels tries to come up behind Taker and dump him as well, but Taker hangs on. Taker goes for Old School, but Michaels pulls him down. As Michaels hits a flying forearm, The Great Khali enters at #4. Taker chokeslams Michaels and then goes right for Khali. As Khali kicks away at Taker, the crowd begins a ‘You can’t wrestle’ chant. Gotta love the NY fans. Khali goes for his chop, but Taker ducks it and throws him out. Taker and Michaels resume their battle as Hardcore Holly comes out at #5. Taker shifts his focus to Holly and goes after his arm. Taker grabs Michaels and attempts to throw him out again, but Holly breaks up that attempt. #6 is John Morrison and he goes after everyone. Michaels throws Morrison over the top rope, but he manages to hang on. After hitting a flying elbow, Michaels goes for Sweet Chin Music, but Morrison blocks it and delivers a kick of his own. New York’s own Tommy Dreamer enters at #7. He comes in as a house of fire, punching everyone in sight. A ‘Tommy Dreamer’ chant breaks out. This is apparently going to be a front loaded Rumble as #8 is Batista. He takes down everyone and then has a staredown with the Undertaker, who he fought at Wrestlemania last year. Before they can go at it, Dreamer interrupts. Batista pitches him out for that. Crowd doesn’t like that. #9 is nobody…oh wait nevermind, I just had to look closer because it’s Hornswoggle. He sizes up the humanity that’s currently in the ring and decides to immediately hide underneath the ring instead of try to compete. The action resumes in the ring with Batista spearing Taker. Holly clotheslines Michaels over the top rope, but he hangs on. Chuck Palumbo is out at #10 as the world asks ‘Why?’. The pairs squaring off right now include Taker/Palumbo, Michaels/Morrison, and Holly/Batista.

The #11 entrant is Jamie Noble, who was feuding with Palumbo at the time. He naturally goes right after him. Palumbo gets Noble over the top rope and boots him to the floor with relative ease. Michaels throws Morrison over, but he again does an impressive job of holding on. #12 is Punk who delivers running knee strikes to everyone until he gets dropped by a Taker clothesline. Palumbo gets Punk up on his shoulders, but Punk escapes and throws Palumbo over. He hangs on, but a running knee by Punk is enough to knock him to the floor. Michaels and Punk go at it as Cody Rhodes comes out at #13. Rhodes was a ‘wet behind the ears’ rookie at this point, but that doesn’t stop him from deciding to go after Taker. We might get some ring clearing now as Umaga is out at #14. He hits Holly with the Samoan Spike, which sends him out to the floor. He now begins to hammer down Batista. #15 is Snitsky and he attacks both Rhodes and Morrison. Rhodes hops on Snitsky’s back and nearly falls out of the ring in the process. Punk attempts to hit Morrison with the GTS when Morrison’s partner, The Miz, comes out at #16. Taker is trying his darndest to get Umaga out, but the big man won’t go. #17 is Shelton Benjamin, who immediately hops onto the top rope and delivers a double noggin knocker to Morrison and the Miz. Both men manage to stay on the apron, however. He knocks down Punk only to be hit with a superkick by Michaels that eliminates him from the match. Once again Michaels is Benjamin’s Achilles heel. A big surprise at #18 as it’s the Superfly, Jimmy Snuka. He comes in and takes it to everyone who comes after him. Then it’s our second surprise in a row as Rowdy Roddy Piper is out at #19. He quickly locks eyes with Snuka and they renew their decades old rivalry. Everyone else in the ring stop to watch these two go at. #20 is Kane who brings us back to reality by immediately eliminating both Snuka and Piper. Taker looks to chokeslam Kane, but changes course midstream and delivers it to Michaels instead.

Carlito is out at #21 and spits some apple in Rhodes’ face. Another NY native, Mick Foley in the #22 entrant. He attacks everyone as Taker powerbombs Batista. We really could use to thin the herd out at this point. #23 is Mr. Kennedy and he opts to go after Rhodes. He then hits his finisher on both the Miz and Punk. He jaws at the Undertaker, which earns him a chokeslam. Taker starts to catch a second wind knocking down everyone in his sight. As Big Daddy V comes out at #24, Taker grabs Snitsky by the throat and shoves him out of the ring. Taker turns around only to be superkicked out of the match by Michaels. Taker is stunned by that. Michaels has no time to gloat because Kennedy comes up behind him and throws him out. When I wanted some eliminations, I did not have those two in mind. Frustrated, Taker legdrops Snitsky on the announce table. Kennedy throws Rhodes over the top rope, but he hangs on. As he tries to skin the cat, he also tries pulling Kennedy out. Both manage to hang on though. Nice spot. More beef fills up the ring as the #25 entrant is Mark Henry. Hornswoggle emerges from under the ring long enough to pull The Miz, who was teetering on elimination out of the ring. If he keeps doing that, he’ll break Kane’s elimination record with ease. #26 is Chavo Guerrero, who was the ECW Champion at the time, which goes to show you how little they thought of that title if he’s competing in this match. He and Punk, who were feuding at the time go right at each other. After several close calls, Kane finally eliminates Morrison with a boot. Hornswoggle tries his elimination technique again, but foolishly tries it on Mark Henry, who pulls him into the ring instead. Both Henry and Big Daddy V surround Hornswoggle, but before they can do anything, Finlay runs out and attacks both of them with the shillelagh. Finlay then grabs Hornswoggle and takes him to the back thus eliminating both of them despite neither going over the top rope. A major disappointment there. Elijah Burke is the #28 entrant and I frankly had forgotten that he was still in the company at this point. Punk and Guerrero to go at it and Chavo manages to pull Punk over the top rope from the apron and throw him to the floor. A disappointing finish for Punk, but he’s certainly in a better place today. Getting a very good draw is Triple H out at #29. He makes an immediate impact by throwing out Rhodes and Big Daddy V. Now he and Foley go at it, which makes us nostalgic for their classic Rumble match at MSG back in 2000. He whips Foley into Burke and both of them fall over the top rope and to the floor. Umaga misses a charge, which allows HHH to hit him with a Pedigree. #30 is…I don’t believe it…it can’t be..it is..John Cena. This was a MAJOR shock at the time. Cena was out at the time with an injury and still wasn’t due back for several months. The NYC crowd pops huge for this surprise while HHH looks on in disbelief. Cena comes in and takes it to Henry. Cena then pitches out Carlito and Guerrero. Henry gets dumped out by him also shortly thereafter. Cena and HHH have a big staredown and then slug it out. HHH hits a spinebuster on Cena but then gets knocked down by an Umaga uppercut. As Umaga goes for the Spike, Batista spears him. Batista then throws out Kennedy. Batista then clotheslines Umaga out of the ring.

Our final four is Kane, HHH, Batista and Cena. It’s a strong foursome, but it doesn’t last long as HHH and Batista team up to hurl Kane out of the ring. The three guys left stare at each other as the crowd cheers them on. They then do some taunting to fire up the crowd further. There are no alliances here as they all go after each other. Batista manages to connect with spinebusters on both Cena and HHH. Batista goes for a Batista Bomb on Cena, but he blocks it and backdrops him. HHH then clotheslines Batista out to eliminate him. HHH points to the Wrestlemania sign and says that’s what it’s all about while Cena reminds HHH that he made him tap out at a previous Wrestlemania. Now they go back to fighting as they slug it out. Crowd now seems to be behind HHH as they boo Cena’s punches and cheers HHH’s. Cena connects with the five knuckle shuffle. Cena gets HHH up for the FU, but HHH escapes. HHH attempts the Pedigree, but Cena fights out of that. Both men are down after they clothesline each other. Cena boots a charging HHH, but HHH comes back with a DDT. As HHH tries to put Cena out, he blocks it by grabbing the top rope. HHH goes for the Pedigree again, but Cena escapes and back drops HHH out of the ring to score the victory.

Bottom Line: Cena’s return and subsequent victory were a huge surprise and made for a buzzworthy finish to the match. Prior to that, the match had sufficient star power to keep the match entertaining. While it at times had too many guys in there, one thing they did differently this year was they left the middle of the ring open so that two guys could do some more innovative or high impact moves instead of everyone doing the typical punching and kicking near the ropes. There were some aspects of the match that could have been booked better, but they are minor quibbles. This set up some Wrestlemania feuds and kept the lulls to a minimum which makes this a solid Rumble. ****

Will Dwight beet it?

Rumors are circulating that Dwight from The Office may be getting his own spinoff show. If true, let's hope its success is closer to Frasier than Joey. Here's more on the story, courtesy of EW.com:

Now this is a spin-off worth cheering over: NBC is giving consideration to a new family comedy that would feature The Office character Dwight Schrute as a farmer.

Yep, you read that right. Deadline is reporting that Schrute – played by Rainn Wilson — would conceivably return home to the family beet farm and bed-and-breakfast. A backdoor pilot would air later this season and take place at the Schrute Farms. If picked up to series, the show would likely air as part of NBC’s midseason lineup in 2013.

“Paul and Rainn have been joking for years about Dwight’s life on the farm, his family and how ill-suited he is to run a B&B,” a source told Deadline. “A while ago, it started to feel like a show to them. NBC agreed, it’s been further developed to include multiple generations, many cousins and neighbors. At its base it will be about a family farm struggling to survive and a family trying to stay together.”

The pitch is not from Office creator Greg Daniels, who also oversees Parks and Recreations and the NBC comedy pilot Friday Night Dinner. Wilson himself came up with idea, as did The Office executive producer-showrunner Paul Lieberstein. Should NBC go ahead with the spin-off as well as a ninth season for The Office, Wilson is expected to return to the mothership in the fall before moving onto the new show, Deadline says.

This isn’t the first time NBC explored the possibility of an Office spin-off. Parks and Recreation was originally pitched as an Office spinoff until Daniels and SNL vet Michael Schur took it in a different direction and developed it as a mockumentary about small-town government. But even then, Daniels wouldn’t close the door on a spin-off.

“It’s possible that some combination of other Office people could produce it without my giving blood for it,” he told members of the press.

Royal Rumble Rewind: 2007

While they had and would have longer and more notable face-offs, the Shawn Michaels/Undertaker mini-match that caps off this Rumble helps it stand out from many of the others in its history.

2007 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the AT&T Center in San Antonio, TX

This year’s Rumble starts off with style as Ric Flair is #1. He’s gone an hour before to win it, but that was 15 years earlier. And things don’t start off easy for him as Finlay is #2. Finlay tries to overpower Flair to begin, but he comes back with some chops. Finlay hoists Flair up, but Flair rakes his eyes before he can toss him out. #3 is Kenny Dykstra and he had issues with Flair at this time. As Dykstra puts the boots to Flair, Finlay comes up from behind him and tries to toss him out. Participating in his second match tonight is Matt Hardy out at #4. We’ve paired off now with Dykstra and Hardy going at it and Flair tussling with Finlay. Nobody’s been eliminated yet, but that may change because Edge is out at #5. He comes in and hits spears on Flair and Finlay. Hardy is able to avoid one and then hits Edge with a Twist of Fate. Flair goes outside and brings a chair into the ring. Before he can use it though, Edge grabs him and throws him to the floor. In response, Dykstra mocks the Flair strut, but Edge grabs him and throws him out as well. Nice! Tommy Dreamer is the #6 entrant and he goes right after Edge. #7 is another ECW representative, Sabu. Before getting in the ring, he sets up a table on the outside. He then comes in and attacks his hardcore brethren, Dreamer. Gregory Helms is #8 and he attacks Hardy, who he was feuding with at the time. Finlay comes close to eliminating Sabu, but he’s able to put on the brakes. #9 is Shelton Benjamin and he tries to make an impact by eliminating both Dreamer and Hardy, but both guys manage to hang on. That table Sabu set up remains untouched, but I can’t imagine that will stay that way for much longer as they’ve already made several elimination teases near it. The ring is starting to fill up, but have no fear because Kane is out at #10 to thin the herd. His first victim is Tommy Dreamer. He backdrops Sabu over the top rope and then chokeslams him off the apron and through the table. See told ya.

It’s clobbering time because C.M. Punk is out at #11. He opts to go right after Edge. Putting the ‘royal’ in Royal Rumble is King Booker at #12. He comes in and immediately dumps Helms. Nobody else is real close to being eliminated at the moment. #13 is Super Crazy. That prompts JBL to start busting out some of his racist jokes. #14 is Jeff Hardy and he teams up with his brother to attack everyone. Even with as many guys in the ring as there are, they’re able to hit Kane with Poetry in Motion. If you’ve begun to smell stale beer, it’s because Sandman has emerged at #15. He starts attacking everyone with a kendo stick, but before he can really get rolling, Booker tosses him out. Looks like we’ve got our Bushwacker winner of the night. Sidenote: it’s probably unfair to keep calling this the Bushwacker award since there have been other guys like the Warlord and Mo who have had far shorter durations in this match than either of those two guys. Eh, who cares. Bushwacker award works. Finlay tosses Jeff Hardy over, but he skins the cat to come back in. Punk manages to do the same thing after Kane attempts to throw him out. Edge’s partner at this time, Randy Orton is the #16 entrant. He teams up with Edge to quickly eliminate Super Crazy and both Hardyz. They could become a force in this match. #17 is Chris Benoit and he attacks everyone in the ring. JBL as an announcer is like a human Wikipedia – providing endless useless facts, only some of which are accurate. Rob Van Dam is out at #18 and he too takes shots at everyone. Kane grabs Booker and throws him out. This displeases the King. Booker comes back in the ring and hits Kane with an axe kick. He then throws Kane over the top rope and brawls with him on the outside. This would be their feeble attempt at starting a feud with these two. As the referees try to separate those two, Viscera comes out at #19. Lawler stupidly asks if anyone can get the 400 lbs. Viscera out despite the fact that he has announced several Rumble matches in which one guy has been able to eliminate him. Johnny Nitro enters at #20 and unsuccessfully tries to throw out RVD. Benoit throws Benjamin over the top rope and he shows some incredible strength by holding onto the bottom rope and avoiding having his feet touch the floor.

Kevin Thorne is #21 and if you don’t remember this guy, don’t worry. This match is only five years old and I barely remember the guy. Pro wrestling was one of the few places where the vampire craze never really took off. RVD hits Viscera with several clotheslines, but cannot get him over the top rope. There are too many guys in there right now and with Hardcore Holly coming out at #22, we’ll have to wait at least another 90 seconds before a mass exodus will take place. Benjamin monkey flips RVD over the top rope, but he manages to hang on. Virtually everyone in the ring works together to try and get Viscera out. No one is paying attention to that, however, because Shawn Michaels is out at #23. He takes on Finlay and makes quick work of him. Michaels then superkicks Viscera, which is enough for the rest of the entrants to then propel him over the top rope and out. Benjamin charges at Michaels, but gets backdropped out of the ring. Man, Benjamin never could catch a break against Michaels. That thins things out somewhat. #24 is Chris Masters and receives zero response from the crowd. At least JBL has enough sense to mock him. Nitro goes up top, which is never a good move. It still holds true here as Benoit knocks him out. Chavo Guerrero is #25 and he goes after Masters. Meanwhile, Benoit continues to do his part in eliminating deadweight by dumping Thorne. MVP is #26 and his theme song tells us (warns us?) he’s coming. RVD dropkicks Masters who falls out of the ring in comedic fashion. Orton gets Punk over the top rope, but Punk does a good job of managing to hang out. Getting the lucky #27 (more guys have won from this spot than any other) is Carlito. Chavo and RVD team up in an attempt to eliminate Michaels. #28 is The Great Khali and I’d imagine we’ll get a mass exodus here. He delivers headbutts to everyone in front of him. Everybody but Khali is now down on the mat. Now he begins to eliminate people starting with Holly. The Miz enters at #29 and immediately gets thrown out by Khali. I think he just took the Bushwacker award away from Sandman. Meanwhile Khali has now also eliminated Benoit, RVD, Punk, Carlito, and Chavo. Before he can toss out anybody else, The Undertaker comes out at #30 to round out the field. Those two slug it out with neither one dropping. Taker blocks a Khali bomb attempt and then clotheslines Khali out of the ring. Taker grabs MVP and connects with Old School. He then dumps him out of the ring.

That brings us to our Final Four of The Undertaker, Shawn Michaels, Randy Orton, and Edge. A solid quartet comprised of all legitimate contenders. Taker tosses Edge, but he manages to hang on. Behind him, Orton nails Taker with a chair. Edge starts to go for a spear, but Orton sees him. Orton thinks his partner was trying to double cross him, while Edge claims he was going for Taker. Orton stops bickering with Edge long enough to give Michaels an RKO. Edge and Orton now team up to attack Taker. Taker has been busted open from Orton’s chair shot. Taker manages to comeback and clotheslines both of them. He then hits Edge with Snake Eyes and a big boot. As he attempts to chokeslam Orton, Edge hits him with a spear. Edge then blasts Taker with another chair shot. They attempt to hit Taker with a Con-chair-to, but Michaels gets back up. He backdrops Orton out of the ring and then superkicks Edge out. We’re down to Michaels and Taker. Both of them are down and then situp/kip up at the same time. Michaels attempts a 10-punch count, but Taker shoves him down. Now Taker sends Michaels to the corner and slugs away at him. Taker whips Michaels to the corner where he does his flip, flop, and fly sell. Taker goes for a big boot in the corner, but misses and falls to the apron. Michaels tries to knock Taker off the apron, but Taker blocks it. As they slug it out, the crowd chants for ‘HBK’. Taker drops Michaels with a big boot. Taker lifts Michaels over the top rope, but he hangs on. Both men go to the top rope, but Michaels knocks Taker down. He follows that up with a flying elbow. With Taker down, Michaels begins to tune up the band. He goes for the superkick, but Taker blocks it and then hits him with a chokeslam. Taker picks up Michaels for a Tombstone, but Michaels escapes and connects with Sweet Chin Music. Michaels goes for another kick, but Taker ducks it and dumps him to the floor for the victory.

Bottom Line: After a mostly forgettable effort, that was quite the finish. We got a 10 minute mini-match between two legends. What made it even better is that either guy could have won it, which left the finish in doubt. With that victory, Taker made history by becoming the first guy to win the Rumble at #30. Prior to the Michaels/Taker stuff this was a disappointing Rumble that failed to yield any memorable spots. As is the case with most of the weaker Rumbles, you had too many guys staying in for too long. And it was also frustrating to see them give such a worthless stiff like Khali the ‘Diesel push’ and have him eliminate a fifth of the roster by himself. The finish saves this one, but doesn’t do enough to make it a great Rumble. ***

One last Party

While Nintendo has all but given up releasing titles for the Wii as they gear up to launch Wii U, there is one final title we have to look forward to - Mario Party 9, the first one specifically made for the Wii (Mario Party 8 was originally created for the Gamecube and then converted for the Wii). Mario Party 9 has a U.S. release date of March 11th. In the meantime, you can check out what's in store for this latest addition (there appears to be some intriguing changes) in this new trailer that just hit the web.

Royal Rumble Rewind: 2006

Starting with this one, the rest of these Royal Rumble review will be new content that has not been posted anywhere else. Enjoy!

2006 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the American Airlines Arena in Miami, FL

As if things weren’t bad enough that this Rumble is getting a midcard slot, we kick off this year’s match with a cheer from the Spirit Squad. Even though they’re uber-annoying, the crowd can barely muster the energy to boo them. Not a good sign. They certainly wake up though upon seeing that Triple H is #1. #2 is Rey Mysterio, who comes out to the ring in a low ride. He drapes one of Eddie Guerrero’s shirts on the hood. Mysterio is dedicating the match to Guerrero who had passed away two months prior. Mysterio uses his speed to gain an early advantage on HHH. He delivers a 10-punch count on HHH as the crowd chants ‘Eddie’. HHH avoids a 619 as Simon Dean rolls out on his Segway at #3. Dean puts the boots to Mysterio as HHH looks on. When Dean asks for a high five from HHH, he gets punched instead. Mysterio and HHH team up and dump Dean to the floor together. As Mysterio connects with a Bronco Buster, Psicosis enters at #4. Psicosis takes it to both guys. As he tries to do a Razor’s Edge on Mysterio, Rey reverses it into a hurricanrana and sends Psicosis out of the ring. Whooo, it’s Ric Flair at #5 and he has issues with HHH. He chops and punches away on HHH. It should be noted that as these two go at, Rey is just lying on the mat. Something he’ll be doing a LOT in this match. Flair makes a charge, but HHH backdrops him out of the ring. Before HHH can catch his breath, Big Show is out at #6. He too was at odds with HHH at this time. Show lays some vicious chops in on HHH as Mysterio continues to lie down. Mysterio gets up long enough to receive a headbutt from Show and he’s back down again. Show delivers a series of elbow drops on HHH. Jonathan Coachman, yes announcer Jonathan Coachman comes out at #7. He foolishly tries to attack Big Show. Show turns around and piefaces Coach right out of the ring. Looks like he’s getting the Bushwacker award tonight. Show returns his focus to HHH as Rey continues to lie on the mat. Bobby Lashley is #8 and he has a staredown with Show. Show attempts to chokeslam him, but Lashley escapes and then backdrops him. Lashley whips Mysterio hard to the corner, so he’ll probably be down for another 5 minutes from that. Big Show’s tag partner at that time, Kane is #9. He slugs it out with Lashley in the proverbial ‘irresistible force meeting the immovable object’ battle. Lashley connects with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex to Kane. After press slamming HHH, Lashley hits Kane with the Dominator. The power moves are nice, but the name of the game is eliminating people, something he hasn’t done yet. #10 is Sylvan and he tries to forge a partnership with Lashley. However, he quickly attempts to double-cross him, which doesn’t end well. Lashley quickly grabs him and heaves him out of the ring. Big Show and Kane are both back up now. They give Lashley a tandem chokeslam and then casually eliminate him. The two tag partners actually go at it while Mysterio and HHH are still lying down. Show and Kane try to eliminate each other when HHH comes up and dumps both of them out of the ring.

#11 is Carlito. He puts the boots to both Mysterio and HHH. Carlito hits Mysterio with the backstabber. That should give Mysterio another reason to take a breaker. Chris Benoit comes out at #12 and delivers chops and suplexes to everyone in the ring. Finally, an infusion of energy into this match. Benoit puts Carlito into the Crossface until HHH breaks it up. Benoit tries to suplex HHH out of the ring, but HHH blocks it and crotches him on the top rope. Benoit knocks HHH down and then connects with the flying headbutt. You better dig it sucka because #13 is Booker T. He goes right after Benoit, who he’s been feuding with recently. Benoit blocks Booker’s elimination attempt and quickly hiptosses him out of the ring. Man Booker gave Coach a run for his money there. Although to be fair, Booker was dealing with a groin injury that probably prevented him from being able to fully compete in this match. Benoit goes back to squaring off against HHH while Carlito has to pick up Mysterio in order to get him to do something. One half of MNM, Joey Mercury, is #14. He attacks everyone until Benoit catches him with a German suplex. The pairs are now Benoit/HHH and Mercury/Carlito leaving Rey to…you guess it…lie on the mat. #15 is Tatanka as a surprise entrant. If that’s the best they can do for a surprise return, things don’t look good for this match. His appearance prompts the Miami crowd to begin the ‘Tomahawk Chop’ chant. Lots of punching and kicking right now with no one near elimination. Mercury’s tag partner, Johnny Nitro is #16. Benoit gets HHH over the top rope, but he manages to hang on. Lawler suggests that Eddie divinely gave Mysterio the #2 entry so he could watch him for a long time. If Eddie has nothing better to do than watch Mysterio laze around for an hour then the afterlife must be extremely boring. #17 is Trevor Murdoch. HHH grabs Mysterio and throws him over, but Mysterio hangs on. He comes back into the ring and immediately clutches the bottom rope. Apparently HHH can’t take the hint that Mysterio has no interest in being active tonight. Another surprise entrant is the returning Eugene at #18. Murdoch punches him, but Eugene no sells it. Eugene gives him an airplane spin that makes both of them dizzy. #19 is Animal from LOD and I’m surprised he can still find shoulderpads that fit over his stomach. We’ve got way too many guys in there right now and most of them are complete losers. #20 marks the big return of Rob Van Dam, who had been out for nearly a year with a knee injury. He delivers kicks to everyone who comes within distance of him. Animal charges at him, but he backdrops him out of the ring to clear some deadweight.

Orlando Jordan is #21, but frankly I think I would have preferred the other OJ. At least he knows how to eliminate people. What? Too soon? RVD heaves Carlito over the top rope, but he manages to hang on. Now the guy who should have been dedicating this match to Eddie, his cousin Chavo comes out at #22. He goes after Mysterio, no doubt miffed at him stealing his rightful dedication. He now delivers Eddie’s Three Amigos to Joey Mercury. Chavo goes up top to deliver a frog splash, but HHH shoves him to the floor before he can deliver the move. So apparently Eddie had no interest in offering his actual family any divine intervention in this match. There’s still way too many guys in there. Matt Hardy enters at #23 as we still wait for a top guy to come out and do some house cleaning. MNM team up and hit Tatanka with the Snapshot. That’s enough to eliminate him. He’s Super…he’s crazy…he’s Super Crazy and he’s also #24. More punching and kicking and a whole lot of nothingness. Oh thank heavens it’s Shawn Michaels at #25. He attacks everyone in sight. Then he gets productive by dumping Murdoch out of the ring. I was hoping for more than just that though. That loud sigh of indifference you hear is the indication that Chris Masters is out at #26. Matt Hardy and HHH come close to eliminating each other, but both manage to hang on. Shawn Michaels uses a headscissors to try and eliminate Mercury, but his partner grabs him to prevent him from going out. The world’s largest love machine, Viscera is our #27 entrant. He grabs Matt Hardy and gives him the Walrus. And if you don’t know what that is, consider yourself lucky. I’m sure Matt created a whiny YouTube video complaining about being treated like that. Hardy tries to give Viscera the Twist of Fate, but Vis picks him up and throws him out of the ring. Led to the ring by his momma, Shelton Benjamin comes out at #28. Meanwhile Benoit manages to unceremoniously eliminate Eugene. It’s yet another surprise entrant as #29 is Goldust. Still more punching and kicking. And if you’re wondering is Rey Mysterio is lying on the mat, well he is. #30 is Randy Orton and I wonder what he did in order to get that number. He runs in and immediately eliminates Benoit. Given how much worthless talent is still in the ring, that seemed unnecessary.

With all entrants out we still have over a third of them still in this match. Carlito and Masters team up to eliminate Viscera. As Masters celebrates, Carlito takes the opportunity to throw him out of the ring as well. Let it be known that nobody will ever confuse Chris Masters for an intelligent man. Goldust grabs Carlito and is able to hit him with Shattered Dreams. However, he then gets blindsided by an RVD kick, which knocks him out of the ring. Meanwhile Orton gets Jordan over the top rope and knocks him off the apron to eliminate him. Shawn Michaels hits HHH with the flying forearm. Before he can get rolling, MNM attack him from behind. They attempt to give him the Snapshot, but he escapes. He then manages to eliminate both of them single-handedly. Michaels turns around only to be hit with a kick by Benjamin. Michaels recovers and gets him over the top rope. Benjamin hangs on, but Michaels hits him with Sweet Chin Music to officially eliminate him. Shawn is cleaning house! But before he can do any more damage, ‘No Chance in Hell’ plays and out comes Vince McMahon. From the outside he starts jawing at Michaels. As Michaels yells back, Shane McMahon runs out of nowhere and throws him out of the ring. Michaels realizes this and chases after him. Before he can do that, HHH cuts him off. Michaels escapes a Pedigree attempt and then runs to the back to go after Shane. That was majorly disappointing. Back to the ring when an RVD spin kick sends Carlito out of the ring. We’re now down to our Final Four consisting of RVD, Randy Orton, but our #1 and #2 entrants, HHH and Rey Mysterio. Mysterio calls over RVD, no doubt asking if he can do all the work for him. They team up to work over HHH and Orton. RVD goes up top for a frog splash, but HHH crotches him. HHH then catapults Mysterio into RVD, causing him to fall down to the floor and be eliminated. Now Orton and HHH, former Evolution teammates work together against Mysterio. Mysterio is able to divide and conquer though. He drops both of them to the second rope and hits a tandem 619. Orton goes for an RKO on HHH, but he blocks it and hits him with a spinebuster instead. HHH attempts to give Mysterio a spinebuster, but he reverses it into a ‘rana that sends HHH up and over. HHH is stunned. We’re down to Orton and Mysterio. HHH pulls Mysterio out of the ring and sends him into the steps. He then puts him back in the ring to leave him for Orton. Orton picks up Mysterio who is deadweight. As he tries to eliminate him, Mysterio once again reverses it into a ‘rana which sends Orton out of the ring and gives Rey the win.

Bottom Line: This is by far my least favorite Rumble. On the action alone, this would have been already near the bottom. There were very few memorable spots and the roster was one of the weakest of the decade. But what makes this one stand out among other lackluster Rumbles is Rey Mysterio’s ‘performance’. There are so many grating things about it. While he had always been a top star, he got a huge push merely because his friend Eddie passed away. These nauseating levels at which the announcers tried to sell Rey’s success as divine intervention was aptly dubbed ‘Eddiesploitation’ around the Internet. It’s also annoying that Rey’s victory broke the longevity record as he lasted over 62 minutes. When Flair went an hour in ’92, he delivered offensive moves from bell to bell. And yet Mysterio goes into the record book for basically lying on the mat for an hour. I don’t mean to sound bitter, but this one leaves a bad taste in my mouth. *

Newport News

In case you missed it last week, here's a look at Paul Rudd on Parks and Recreation playing Bobby Newport, Leslie Knope's opponent in the race for city council.

Royal Rumble Rewind: 2005

Once again in 2005, the Rumble match marked the dawn of a new era. Two rising stars were beginning to emerge and it took a little longer than expected to determine which one of them would come out victorious in this match.

2005 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the Savemart Center in Fresno, CA

#1 is Eddie Guerrero and #2 is Chris Benoit. At that time it was a dream opening pair. Now, like so many other great moments from that time they are just a grim reminder of what has happened. The two go through some feeling-out moves to kick things off. Before they can truly get going, #3 is out and it’s the $1,000,000 Tough Enough winner, Daniel Puder. Puder opts to go for a mic and announces that he’ll make history by being the first Tough Enough winner to win the Rumble. Benoit and Guerrero don’t take too kindly to that and decide to take out their anger on him. It quickly becomes a game of who can chop him harder. Guerrero delivers the Three Amigos as Hardcore Holly comes out at #4. So things are getting worse for young Puder, since we know Holly hates rookies. Holly decides to get in on the chopfest as Puder is just getting brutalized in there. After an Alabama Slam, Holly does the honor of eliminating Puder. As The Hurricane comes out at #5, Benoit and Guerrero sneak up behind Holly and throw him out. Benoit and Guerrero team up against the Hurricane, but suddenly Guerrero turns on Benoit and tries to eliminate him. Benoit hangs on though and they go back to the Hurricane. Hurricane gets a brief moment of offense before Guerrero backdrops him out of the ring. #6 is Kenzo Suzuki and I look forward to more domination from Benoit and Guerrero. After briefly teaming up, Benoit decides to return the favor and try a sneak attack on Eddie, but he too manages to hang out. Appearing for the second time tonight, Edge is out at #7. He goes after Guerrero, while Benoit and Kenzo continue to go at it. Rey Mysterio enters at #8 and he goes after everyone. Kenzo tries to slam Rey, but Rey escapes and then delivers a hurricanrana to eliminate him. #9 is Shelton Benjamin and that is quite the atheletic fivesome in there right now. Shelton slugs away on Edge, while Benoit tries to get rid of Rey. Eddie comes over and tries to eliminate Benoit. Benoit almost suplexes Eddie out of the ring, but Rey stops them. Booker T is the #10 entrant and he goes after Edge. As Rey and Shelton teeter on the top rope, Eric Bischoff decides to walk down to the ring.

#11 is Chris Jericho and the ring continues to be filled with awesome talent. Jericho hits everyone in his path as Teddy Long now decides to make his way down to the ring. Hmm, something seems to be a-brewing. Making it eight men in the ring now, Luther Reigns enters at #12. Soon, the wrestlers realize that there are four RAW and four Smackdown guys in the ring. They take sides and suddenly go at it, West Side Story style to match the theme of this year’s show. Nicely done. The brand warfare suddenly comes to a halt as Muhammad Hassan comes out at #13. The entrants surround Hassan as he looks to the sky. Everyone quickly has enough of that and beat him up. After putting the boots to him, Rey hits him with a 619 and then as a group they collective throw him out. Politically incorrect? Probably. Crowd-pleasing? You better believe it. And then we come down from that high by seeing Orlando Jordan come out at #14. Why can’t he receive the same treatment as Hassan? Everyone pairs off and Shelton is the closest to eliminating someone, that being Chris Jericho. He manages to hang on though. As if Orlando Jordan wasn’t bad enough, now we get Scotty 2 Hotty out at #15. Thankfully, an upset Muhammad Hassan attacks him before he even gets in the ring and puts him in the camel clutch. It appears Scotty’s night is over before it even began. A lot of people are close to going out, but everyone is still hanging on. #16 is Charlie Haas and he goes after everyone. Suddenly Booker gets on a roll and eliminates Luther and Orlando Jordan. He celebrates that with a Spin-a-rooni, but that allows Rey to dropkick him and Guerrero to eliminate him. Rene Dupree is out at #17 and has brought FiFi with him. Haas quickly grabs Dupree and drops him across the top rope. Then it’s a brief World’s Greatest Tag Team reunion as Shelton and Hass double-team Dupree with the alley-oop splash. Shelton hops up onto the top rope, but Edge shoves him off and to the floor to eliminate him. #18 is Simon Dean, who apparently needs to do some more exercises before he gets into the ring. Back inside, Edge sneaks up behind Guerrero and tosses him out. He then dances like Eddie to draw more heel heat from the crowd. The crowd perks back up again as Shawn Michaels is out at #19. Simon Dean has made it into the ring, but is still exercising. Shawn spots him and immediately dumps him out. Haha, nice. Edge tries to corner Rey, but he’s too quick for him. Haas tries punch away on Shawn, but Shawn dumps him to floor. Whooo! It’s Kurt Angle out at #20. He comes in and gives suplexes and Angle Slams to everyone in sight. He tries for one on Shawn, but he escapes. Shawn goes for Sweet Chin Music, but Kurt puts him in the ankle lock. Shawn escapes and then hits the superkick to quickly eliminate Kurt. Wow!

Huge groans from the crowd as Jonathan Coachman comes out at #21. Coach tries a sneak attack on Benoit, but when that doesn’t work, he runs away and grabs a rope. Rey and Jericho come close to eliminating each other, but to no avail. Mark Jindrak is #22, but no one cares because we’re all focused on Kurt Angle who has come back into the ring and thrown out Shawn Michaels. Angle then grabs the steps and throws them at Shawn. With Shawn busted open, Kurt puts him in the ankle lock. The usual bunch of idiots come out to finally break it up. And that’s how you create a Wrestlemania feud! With order now restored, we get our #23 entrant in the form of Viscera. Everybody is sort of milling around as Paul London enters at #24. Dupree knocks him down and then does his French Tickler. Jericho comes up behind him and throws him out. He then does his own version of the dance, which is better received by the crowd. #25 is John Cena who has two tons of hardware to take off before he can get into the ring. He comes in and immediately runs into Viscera. Viscera charges and Cena is able to backdrop him out of the ring. Snitsky enters at #26 and hits everything in his sight. London hops on Snitsky’s back and tries to apply a sleeper. Snitsky pulls him off and onto the apron. Snitsky then clotheslines him off the apron in one of the sickest bumps ever. London’s 360 flip onto the floor is something to behold. With Snitsky looking strong, it seems appropriate that Kane now comes out at #27. Those two go at it as EMTs tend to London. Kane delivers chokeslams to everyone in sight, but doesn’t eliminate anyone. Finally he grabs Jindrak and throws him out. Coach tries attacking Kane from behind, but that doesn’t work. However, before Kane can attack him, Snitsky knocks him down. With everyone down, Batista enters at #28. He immediately makes an impact by clotheslining Snitsky out of the ring. Big ‘Batista’ chant from the crowd. Batista now goes after Kane and dominates him. Batista catches a charging Jericho and throws him to the mat. The Peeps can celebrate now because Christian, accompanied by Tomko is #29. He goes right after that punk Cena. Cena brushes him off and goes over to pick up Kane and dump him to the floor. Rey talks with Cena and tries to team up with him. We’re left with only one man yet to come out and it is The Man, Ric Flair at #30. Flair high fives Batista and then stomps away on Coach. Batista gives Coach a spinebuster and then Flair throws him out of the ring. Batista then gives Christian a spinebuster. He then press slams him out of the ring and onto Tomko. A disappointing night for Captain Charisma. Flair and Batista now team up on Benoit and eliminate him. Suddenly Flair tries to double-cross Batista and throw him out, but Batista doesn’t budge. Batista looks at him, but before he can do anything Edge and Rey attack him. Edge then goes after Flair and throws him out of the ring. More boos for Edge.

Just like that we’re down to the Final Four of Edge, Batista, Rey Mysterio and John Cena. A good crop of new talent there. Edge manages to get spears on Batista and Cena. He goes for one on Rey, but Rey avoids it. Rey then hits Edge with a 619. Edge recovers and throws Rey over the top rope. Rey hangs on, but then Edge spears him and eliminates him for good. Edge charges at Batista and Cena, but they backdrop him to the floor. We’re down to two! The two stare at each other before slugging it out. Cena gets Batista up for the FU, but Batista blocks it by grabbing the ropes. Batista escapes and then sets up Cena for the Batista Bomb. As Cena tries to escape that, both men end up falling over the top rope and hitting the floor. Different referees believe each man won. Both men go in the ring and both get their hand raised. Suddenly Vince McMahon struts out and tries running into the ring. As he gets in, Vince crumbles to the mat. While he sits there, both referees argue their case. We would learn after the fact that as Vince tried entering the ring, he blew out both of his quads (yeowch!), hence him sitting in the ring. Meanwhile, Batista throws Cena out of the ring. Cena comes back in and throws out Batista. Howard Finkel comes on the mic and announces that this match should restart. Cena attempts the FU, but Batista escapes. He hits Cena with a spinebuster and then throws him out to officially win the Royal Rumble.

Bottom Line: Man, if only that finish had gone off more smoothly. We still don’t know if they had planned the double elimination/restart finish or if it was an error on Cena and Batista’s part. On one hand, it provided a good gauge of how fans responded to both men. However, with both men ultimately getting title shots, they probably should have just made them co-winners right there. Aside from that finish, however, this was a tremendous Rumble. There were so many mini-stories and/or spots peppered throughout this thing that there was hardly a dull moment. This match was also successful in doing more than just establishing a #1 contender. It started up the Angle/HBK feud. It also really helped Edge as a heel as he was there until the end and had some good eliminations of crowd favorites. This would get the full monty with a smooth ending. Instead it’ll have to settle for **** ½

Who wants easy money?

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Royal Rumble Rewind: 2004

This should have been a memorable Rumble, but the tragic events surrounding Chris Benoit have put a mar on this show that many wrestling fans now refuse to watch.

2004 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the Wachovia Center in Philadelphia, PA

J.R. and Tazz are doing the announcing for this. Good. Per order by Paul Heyman, Chris Benoit has to enter #1. #2 is Evolution’s Randy Orton. Benoit begins by kicking Orton down in the corner. Orton tries to toss out Benoit, but he won’t budge. #3 is Mark Henry. Holla Holla Holla! He easily manhandles both men. As Henry works over Benoit, Tajiri comes out at #4. Tajiri lays some kicks into Orton and then hits the handspring elbow. Benoit comes over and hits Tajiri with a German suplex. Henry tosses Orton over, but he hangs on and comes back in. Bradshaw is the #5 entrant and he gives everyone a Clothesline from Hell. However, when he attempts it on Benoit, Chris blocks it and applies the Crossface. Bradshaw gets him up on his shoulders, but Benoit shifts his weight and tosses him to the floor. #6 is Rhyno and he goes after Benoit. Meanwhile, Tajiri somewhat gets Henry in the Tarantula. While in the hold, Rhyno gores Henry, which causes Tajiri to fall to the floor. Then Benoit is able to knock the woozy Henry over the top rope and to the floor. Rhyno and Orton team up against Benoit, but he won’t go out. A replay shows Tajiri had misted Henry before putting him in the Tarantula. After all that craziness, Matt Hardy comes out at #7. Hardy knocks down Rhyno and taunts, so Benoit throws him over the top rope; however he hangs on and reenters. We’re now paired off with Rhyno facing Hardy and Orton taking on Benoit. #8 is Scott Steiner and we can only hope this appearance is better than his last. He comes in and attacks everyone. Getting no response from the crowd is Matt Morgan at #9. Things have slowed down a lot with most of the guys lying down. Flying in at #10 is the Hurricane, who hits Hardy with a high crossbody. Hurricane goes after Morgan, but he grabs him and immediately tosses him to the floor. Morgan throws Hardy over, but he again hangs on.

Can you dig it? Because Booker T is out at #11. He comes in and attacks Steiner. A lot of punching and kicking right now. #12 is Kane, which should mean house cleaning time. Before he gets to the ring, Steiner is eliminated by Booker T. Kane enters and it’s chokeslams for everyone. The buzzer sounds and the Undertaker’s gong plays. Kane freaks out since he buried him at Survivor Series. Waiting to see who it is, Kane gets dumped out by Booker T. Now Spike Dudley comes out as apparently the #13 entrant. Kane grabs him and chokeslams him on the entrance ramp. That, in effect, ends his night before he even gets to the ring. We’ve paired off again as it’s Orton and Rhyno, Benoit and Hardy, and Booker and Morgan. As Rikishi comes in at #14, Benoit backdrops Rhyno out of the ring to eliminate him. Dancing his way out at #15 is Frenchman Rene Dupree. Dupree drops Hardy across the top rope and then knocks him to the floor. Dupree dances in celebration and then is eliminated himself via a superkick by Rikishi. Choo choo! It’s A-Train at #16 and he goes after Rikishi. Morgan misses a big boot on Benoit, who then tosses him to the floor. As most try to gang up on A-Train, Orton comes over and dumps out Rikishi. Now Orton shoves out Booker. As Shelton Benjamin makes his way on out at #17, Benoit is able to eliminate A-Train. Benjamin goes for a big kick on Orton, but he dodges it and throws him out. We’re down to the two men who started this thing. Shades of ’95! Benoit and Orton go at it and end up colliding with each other. With both men down, Lamont runs out to announce #18, Ernest ‘the Cat’ Miller. Those two dance as Tazz hilariously sings along. Somebody call my momma! Benoit and Orton get back up and toss out both of the dancing fools. Nice comedy spot. Orton goes after Benoit again as Kurt Angle enters at #19. I doubt he’s out here for comedy. Naturally, he goes after Benoit; picking up where they left off at last year’s Rumble. Orton gladly takes a break as they fight. Things just got a lot fruitier as #20 is Rico. As Orton gives Rico the RKO, Benoit gives Angle some German suplexes. With Rico out cold, Orton is easily able to dump him to the floor. Benoit goes for a diving headbutt, but Angle pops up top and hits him.

Test’s music plays, but nobody shows up. Suddenly, we cut backstage and see Test lying on the floor. Austin sees he can’t compete and yells at the unseen assailant that he now has to go out as the #21 entrant. We hear the tires screech and Mick Foley comes out. He naturally goes right after Orton. The two slug it out with Foley winning the exchange. Foley hits a running clothesline that eliminates both men. Despite that, Foley continues attacking him on the floor. With all the action, we nearly miss Christian entering at #22. Foley grabs the steps and lays out WWE official, Fit Finlay. He turns around and Orton waffles him with a wicked chair shot. Foley recovers and pulls out Mr. Socko. However, he applies it to Nunzio, who’s the #23 entrant. Now Foley and Orton brawl all the way to the back. Meanwhile, Christian and Benoit attempt to eliminate Angle. As the action continues in the ring, Nunzio sits on the outside and watches. #24 is the Big Show, which is a good number for a man his size. He comes in and beats up everyone. Chris Jericho comes out at #25 and immediately helps his friend Christian against Kurt Angle. Everyone gangs up on Show, but can’t eliminate him. The ring begins to fill up again as Charlie Haas enters at #26. Jericho and Christian throw Benoit over the top rope, but he manages to hang on. Now Christian tries to toss Jericho, but he hangs on as well. When Christian sees this, he comes over and Jericho manages to backdrop him to the floor. So much for that friendship. Making his ‘glorious’ (only in his mind) return is Billy Gunn at #27. He enters and hits Fameassers on Angle, Jericho and Show. Whoopee. #28 is John Cena and Show is waiting for him. But before he enters, Cena spots Nunzio still sitting on the floor and throws him into the ring. Cena then enters and gets jumped by Show. People gang up on Show again as RVD comes out at #29. Everyone kind of mills around waiting to hit the big finish. Rounding out this year’s field is Goldberg at #30. He comes in and delivers a few spears. Nunzio hops on Goldberg’s back, but he still manages to throw Hass out. Goldberg then flips Nunzio off of him and gives him a spear. He then clotheslines Gunn to eliminate him. Good! Goldberg picks up Nunzio and press slams him to the floor. That took care of all the dead weight. As Goldberg goes to jackhammer Show, Brock Lesnar runs out and nails Goldberg with an F5. Sweet! Goldberg yells at Brock, which allows Angle to come up from behind and throw him out. Even better! Everyone goes after Show, but to no avail. Show fends then all off until Jericho chopblocks him. Now everyone hits a finisher on Show. The remaining guys try to pick him up, but aren’t successful. Suddenly Show grabs Cena and throws him to the floor. RVD hops on Show in the corner, but he gets tossed to the floor too.

Our Final Four are Benoit, Angle, Jericho, and Show. I’m definitely cool with that. Show tosses Jericho, but he skins the cat. Jericho goes after Show some more. Again, he gets tossed and again he holds on. Now Jericho hits Show with a top rope bulldog. Jericho puts Show in the Walls of Jericho and he taps. Does no good here. Angle breaks up the hold and brawls with Jericho. Show grabs Jericho and then chokeslams him out of the ring. Angle manages to hit Show with the Angle Slam and then gives one to Benoit too. Angle pulls Show in the ankle lock and again Show taps. Show manages to get to the ropes and leverages himself to eliminate Angle using his legs. Wow! As Show tries to reenter, Benoit hits him with a diving headbutt. Benoit charges, but Show grabs him. Benoit escapes the chokeslam attempt and applies the Crossface. Once again, Show taps. Show gets out and hits Benoit with a sidewalk slam. At this point, Benoit has the longevity record, besting Bob Backlund’s time from ’93. Show presses Benoit, but he manages to shift and get Show in a headlock. Benoit goes over the top rope and starts dragging Show with him. Slowly Benoit keeps tugging and eventually pulls Show to the floor to win it. Benoit has gone coast to coast to win the Rumble!

Bottom Line: Benoit finally won the big one and while recent events have marred this accomplishment, there’s no denying that this was a feel good moment at the time. Even if you ignore Benoit’s victory, this ends up being a pretty fantastic Rumble. There were hardly any slow spots. You also had a few surprises and a few laughs. They also did a nice job at having a large number of stars still in it at the end who could have legitimately won it. Perhaps most important of all, this Rumble did a great job of setting up key feuds that would play out until Wrestlemanaia. That’s always a good mark of decent storytelling. This is a solid Rumble through and through. **** ¾

Star Mangled Banner

Since the Internet is abuzz with Steven Tyler's poor performance of the National Anthem, I thought I would post one of the most wonderfully awful version ever done - Leslie Nielsen as Frank Drebin posing as Enrico Pallazzo in The Naked Gun.

Royal Rumble Rewind: 2003

Yet another wrinkle was added to the Rumble match in 2003 now that the company had split into two brands. Each brand provided 15 entrants into the match and the winner would get a championship match against their brand's champion at Wrestlemania that year.

2003 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the Fleet Center in Boston, MA

One of the stories going into this match is the developing feud between Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho. Jericho was out to prove he was just like Shawn, only better. When Vince made Shawn #1, Jericho made himself #2 so that he could not only beat Shawn, but go the distance just like Shawn did back in ’95. As Shawn waits in the ring, Jericho’s music plays, but it’s revealed that it’s Christian in the aisle. Jericho comes through the crowd and attacks Shawn from behind. Jericho goes outside, grabs a chair and nails Shawn with it. Shawn’s been busted open from that. Chris Nowinski comes out as our #3 entrant, but stays at ringside to allow Jericho to continue his beatdown. With Shawn completely out of it, Jericho picks him up and dumps him over the top rope to eliminate him. Wow! Rey Mysterio is out at #4 and he immediately hits Jericho with a springboard dropkick. Those two do some more fast-paced action as Nowinski continues to look on from ringside. With Rey on the top turnbuckle, Jericho tries to shove him out, but Rey manages to hang onto the post. As Rey makes his way back inside, Nowinski finally comes in and gangs up on him. #5 is Edge, who comes out to help his friend. Edge and Rey clear Jericho and Nowinski out of the ring, but neither went over the top rope. Now Edge and Rey go at it and have a fantastic sequence with both men nearly eliminating the other. Christian enters at #6 and immediately hugs his brother Edge. Edge pretends to reciprocate the love and then spears him. Rey gets on Edge’s shoulders to do a double-team move, when Nowinski comes in and tosses both over the top rope. They both hang on and reenter by giving Nowinski tandem missile dropkicks; one of which nails him right in the face. Brutal looking spot there. As Rey gives Nowinski the Bronco Buster, Chavo Guerrero comes out at #7. Rey and Chavo do some awesome stuff with Rey connecting with the 619. After giving another one to Christian, Rey goes for the West Coast Pop on Nowinski. Nowinski blocks it, but Rey manages to ‘rana him over the top rope and to the floor. As Rey comes back in, Jericho runs over and clotheslines him out of the ring to end his night. Tajiri is the #8 entrant and he gives everyone some stiff kicks. Out #9 entrant is Bill DeMott and he hits everyone in his path. DeMott throws Jericho over, but he hangs on. We’ve paired off now with DeMott taking on Edge, Chavo battling Christian and Jericho trying to eliminate Tajiri. #10 is Tommy Dreamer and he’s brought weapons with him. Dreamer comes in and delivers cane shots to everyone. Edge grabs a cane and the two of them pelt DeMott (which I’m loving). One big cane shot by Edge is enough to knock DeMott over the top rope and to the floor. Jericho and Christian grab trash can lids and nail Dreamer. Those shots knock him out and they easily eliminate him. Tajiri attempt to put Jericho in the Tarantula, but Jericho shoves him off to end his night.

#11 is Bull Buchanan, who comes out and attacks everyone until Edge whips him into the corner and throws him out. Bull gets the Bushwhacker award tonight. Edge whips Chavo over the top rope, but he hangs on. As he tries to come back in, Edge spears him to the floor. Edge tosses Jericho, but he hangs on and reenters to dump out both Edge and Christian. Jericho left alone. He doesn’t wait long before RVD comes out at #12. RVD gets the better of Jericho in their early exchange. RVD catapults Jericho over the top rope, but he again hangs on. Now Matt Hardy appears at #13. Matt Fact: Matt strongly dislikes mustard. Matt is joined by Mattitude follower, Shannon Moore. Matt teams up with Jericho to beat up RVD. RVD recovers and plays divide and conquer. RVD hits Jericho with the Five Star Frog Splash. Matt grabs RVD and tosses him, but RVD hangs on. #14 is Eddie Guerrero and he takes on everybody. RVD attempts to eliminate Eddie, but Matt makes the save. Eddie hits RVD with the frog splash, only to be given the Twist of Fate by Matt. As Matt stands tall, Jeff Hardy enters at #15. Matt tries to make peace, but Jeff will have none of it. Jeff tosses Matt out, but Shannon Moore prevents him from hitting the floor. Jeff sets Matt up for the swanton bomb, but Shannon comes in and tries to stop him. Shannon lays on top of Matt, so Jeff just gives both of them the swanton. Our streak of decent workers ends when Rosey enters at #16. The pairs right now are Jeff/Matt, Rosey/RVD, and Jericho/Eddie. The Testicles are pleased to see Test at #17. He comes in and is dominant. He tosses out Jericho, who again manages to hang on. The buzzer rings and out comes #18, John Cena with a rap. His rhymes go on for nearly the full 90 seconds and are quite enjoyable. Even Tazz seems to get a kick out of them. Oh how I miss those days. RVD’s heard enough though, and comes out to throw him into the ring. It’s now time for #19, one half of Team Angle, Charlie Haas. The ring is filling up quickly. As Jeff goes for the corkscrew moonsault, RVD shoves him to the floor. Making his 8th Rumble appearance, the 20th entrant is Rikishi. Rikishi and Rosey briefly team up before Rosey turns on him.

Rosey’s partner in crime, Jamal, is our #21 entrant. Rikishi quickly knocks him down and gives him a stinkface. Jericho heaves RVD over, but he hangs on. #22 is Kane and hopefully he’ll clear the ring of some dead wood. He grants my wish by eliminating Rosey. Kane tosses Jericho over, but somehow he manages to hang on. Jericho has had the most near eliminations ever in the history of the Rumble. His ability to hang on has been incredible. Shelton Benjamin is #23 and he immediately does a double-team move with Haas on Cena. How great are these guys? There are several near eliminations, but nobody goes. At #24 is Booker T and he makes an immediate impact by giving Kane a scissors kick and Matt a flapjack. After doing a spinaroonie, Booker grabs Eddie and throws him out of the ring. All aboard! It’s A-Train at #25. He attacks a bunch of people, but doesn’t eliminate anybody. Suddenly, Shawn Michaels runs out and attacks Jericho. His attack allows Test to come over and toss Jericho out. Now Shawn flies over the top rope and lands on Jericho. As the referees separate those two, Maven comes out at #26. There are still no eliminations when Goldust makes his entrance at #27. Goldust attacks Team Angle and then gives Maven Shattered Dreams. Team Angle work together to eliminate Goldust. They follow that up by getting rid of Booker. That’s somewhat disappointing. #28 is Batista and he hits everything in his way. Test tries to get rid of Batista, but when he goes for the big boot, Batista ducks and Test falls all the way to the floor. Now Batista clotheslines Rikishi out of the ring. Making his second appearance of the night, Brock Lesnar comes out at #29. Team Angle try to get rid of him, but he reverses their momentum and tosses both of them out. Then Brock picks up Matt and F5s him on top of Team Angle. Everyone gets on their feet, because they know that #30 is the returning Undertaker. He makes an immediate impact by clotheslining Cena and Jamal out of the ring. Maven nails Taker with a dropkick, but doesn’t get the same result as last year. Taker grabs Maven and chokeslams him. Then he throws him to the floor. Kane and RVD team up to eliminate A-Train from the match. RVD wants Kane to press slam him onto Batista, but Kane press slams him out of the ring instead.

That leaves us with a Final Four of Kane, Batista, Taker and Brock. Kane and Batista clothesline each other. As Brock and Taker stare each other down, Kane and Batista attack them. Brock battles Batista and Kane himself and gives Kane an F5. Taker and Brock go at it and Brock gets the better of it. Taker reverses an F5 attempt and tombstones Brock. Then he runs over and clotheslines Batista out of the ring. Taker and Kane seemingly team up until Taker grabs Kane and throws him out of the ring. Batista reenters with a chair, but Taker stops him. Taker nails Batista with the chair, but Brock comes up behind Taker and dumps him out of the ring to win it.

Postmatch: Taker comes back in, but it’s just to congratulate him on a job well done.

Bottom Line: This was a highly enjoyable Rumble and had one of the best set of wrestlers in it. The first half of the Rumble was just non-stop action, which nicely utilized a lot of Smackdown’s top stars. The second half dragged a bit because eliminations were few and far between. It wasn’t as bad as it should have been, because most of the guys sticking around were ones you wanted to stay. The worst part of the Rumble was the ending. The final four wasn’t great and it was pretty clear who was winning this thing. Still, this was one of the more entertaining Rumbles in recent years. **** ¼