Royal Rumble Rewind: 1996

While the winner of the '96 Rumble may seem familiar, it was clear that the early seeds were being sown for a sea change in the WWF as many future stars make this first appearance in this match/

1996 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the Selland Arena in Fresno, CA

HHH is #1 after losing, via DQ, to Duke “the Dumpster” Drosse during the first ever Free For All. And at #2 is the surprise of all surprises Henry O’ Godwinn, who is just coming off a feud with HHH. HHH and Godwinn slug it out until Godwinn knocks him down with a clothesline. Godwinn whips HHH to the corner where he flips and flops, but doesn’t fall out. HHH is pressed over Godwinn’s head, but he escapes before getting thrown out. #3 is Mr. Bob Backlund, who comes in and stops Godwinn from eliminating HHH. Everybody takes their shots at each other with no alliances showing. Jerry Lawler is #4 and he grabs Godwinn’s slop bucket. As HHH and Backlund hold Godwinn, Lawler gets ready to slop him. However, Godwinn escapes and grabs his bucket back as the heels flee to the floor. With their backs turned, Godwinn pours the bucket’s contents on all three of them. Order is finally restored and Bob Holly enters at #5. HHH throws Godwinn over, but he hangs on and rolls back in. #6 is Mabel and he goes right after Godwinn. Lawler joins his fellow king against Godwinn while HHH and Holly square off. Jake “the Snake” Roberts slithers out at #7 and immediately releases his snake into the ring. Then Jake grabs Lawler and lays the snake on him, causing Lawler to crawl out of the ring. Still no one has been eliminated as Dory Funk Jr. hobbles down at #8. Jake goes for a DDT on HHH but he blocks it. As no one does anything interesting, we see Lawler is hiding underneath the ring. #9 is Yokozuna and if the ring wasn’t filled enough already, it certainly is now. Yoko makes an immediate impact by eliminating Backlund. Mabel and Yoko go at it and Mabel splashes Yoko in the corner with Godwinn behind both of them. Oomph! At #10 is the Kid who’s looking behind him all the way down to the ring with good reason as Razor soon chases after him. The Usual Bunch of Idiots escort Razor back before he can get to the Kid. While all that happened, Jake dumped Godwinn out.

#11 is Asian sensation, Ohmari who gets Aja Kong’s music, or is it Tenryu and Kitao’s? Perhaps, it’s the Orient Express’ music. I can’t tell. More nothingness happens as #12 Savio Vega comes out. After receiving a spinning heel kick from Savio, Mabel is dumped out by Yoko. Jake and Ohmari spill over the top rope but only Ohmari falls to the floor. #13 is Vader, who is accompanied by Jim Cornette. Vader chooses his first target to be Holly. Good choice. From the apron, Savio backdrops Funk to the floor. The buzzer sounds and we get another “who?” participant. This time it’s Doug Gilbert at #14. Jake DDTs Savio to a nice pop. In the most ludicrous spot of the night, Jake gets hit by Vader in the middle of the ring and then stumbles all the way to the side and over the top rope. Squat Team member #1 comes out at #15 as fans begin to wonder if this is the Royal Rumble or an indy show battle royal. Vader now begins to dominate as he press slams Gilbert to the floor and then launches Squat Team member #1 over the top rope. Yoko and Vader begin to brawl much to Cornette’s dismay. As Squat Team member #1 heads out, the buzzer sounds and out comes Squat Team member #2 as #16. What a co-inky-dink! They both decide to go to the ring only to both be eliminated by Vader and Yoko respectively. #17 is Owen Hart and he also decides to start off by attacking Holly. Vader and Yoko are now working together to beat up Savio. #18 is Shawn Michaels and our Clique count is up to 3. As Shawn attacks HHH, Vader clotheslines Savio out of the ring. Yoko and Vader start going at it again, which allows Shawn to come up from behind and eliminate both of them. Yeah riiight! Then just for kicks, Shawn press slams the Kid to the floor also. Hakushi comes out at #19 as Vader and Yoko continue to brawl on the floor. Vader comes back in the ring and press slams Shawn to the floor. He then clears the ring of everyone, forcing a bunch of referees and interim president Gorilla Monsoon to come out and force Vader to leave the ring. All the people Vader just “eliminated” come back in and out comes #20 Tatanka. What rock did they find him under? HHH knocks Shawn over, but he hangs on. Meanwhile, Hakushi isn’t as lucky as Owen dumps him to the floor.

Jacques Strap, err, I mean Aldo Montoya is out at #21. By the way, why the hell is Bob Holly still in this Rumble? He should have been eliminated with the rest of the riff raff minutes ago. Shawn, now on the floor, grabs Lawler and brings him back into the ring. As Shawn officially eliminates Lawler and Tatanka clotheslines Aldo out, Diesel strolls out at #22. Diesel comes in and immediately eliminates Tatanka. Diesel then actually knocks Shawn down. #23 is Kama, who comes out to zero reaction. Ouch, I mean, even Doug Gilbert got some reaction. We’ve now paired off as it’s Diesel and Kama, HHH and Owen, and Shawn and Holly. A fresh-faced young man that goes by Steve Austin, but is now called The Ringmaster comes out at #24. I wonder if he’ll ever amount to anything. As Mr. Perfect sings Austin’s praises, Austin beats up on Holly. Holly flips Austin over, but he hangs on and sneaks up and eliminates Holly on the other side. Finally! That elimination actually got some cheers, which proves there are still some sane people in California. Barry Horowitz is #25 and still can’t catch a break as he’s immediately grabbed by Diesel upon entry. As everyone seems to be standing around, Diesel wakes everyone up by quickly tossing HHH to the floor. Lasting until #25 was still a very good showing by HHH. Fatu is #26, but somehow I don’t think he’ll “make a difference” in this match. Owen tries to suplex Shawn out, but he blocks it. As #27 Issac Yankem gets in the ring, Owen backdrops Horowitz out of the ring. Owen then goes over and hits Shawn with the enziguri, the move that put Shawn on the shelf last November. As Owen goes to throw Shawn’s limp body out, Diesel comes from behind and tosses Owen to the floor. Marty Janetty is #28 and we’re back to punching and kicking. Shawn and Marty start to brawl which means these two have taken over for Martel and Santana as the ex-tag partners guaranteed to go at it in the Rumble. Kama gets Fatu over but not to the floor. #29 is the British Bulldog, who gets a nice draw for a guy coming off being the #1 contender at last month’s In Your House. Making an impact already, the Bulldog backdrops Janetty to the floor. While the Bulldog and Shawn fight, we see in the background Fatu clothesline Austin out of the ring. Geez, first this and then attempted vehicular homicide. Man, Fatu’s really got it out for this guy. Fatu can’t celebrate for too long as Yankem comes up and clotheslines him out. Thanks to the Free For All match, Duke Drosse is your #30 entrant.

He goes right after Yankem, as the Bulldog and Shawn, neither eliminated, brawl on the floor. Out of nowhere, Owen comes back and helps the Bulldog attack Shawn. Back inside, Shawn is pressed by the Bulldog, but Diesel stops him from tossing Shawn out. Shawn now gets the strength to dropkick Yankem and eliminate him. Diesel and Kama team up and get rid of Duke. That makes our Final Four: Shawn Michaels (naturally), the Bulldog (perfectly acceptable), Diesel (makes sense) and Kama (huh?). The Bulldog dumps Shawn over, but he slips back in and clotheslines the Bulldog to the floor. Meanwhile, Diesel piefaces Kama to the floor, only to turn around and receive Sweet Chin Music, which sends him up and over to the floor.

Postmatch: Diesel teases turning on Shawn, only to offer him a high five.

Bottom Line: A completely blah Rumble as the winner was pretty well known before the event. The crowd wasn’t really into it as there were too many entrants that they weren’t familiar with or had stopped caring about a long time ago. Still there were some interesting stories told here (HHH’s longevity, Vader’s dominance, HBK’s survival against all odds) that helped matters. Plus, there was an interesting look to the future as this marked the first time such people like HHH and HBK or Austin and Rikishi faced off. This wasn’t a bad Rumble, it just wasn’t a very memorable one. **