Royal Rumble Rewind: 2009

While the winner of the '08 Rumble had been a huge surprise that no one saw coming, one year later the winner of the Rumble was painfully obvious. Lacking that surprise really puts a damper on this match as it heads towards its inevitable conclusion.

2009 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, MI

The man who holds the longevity record, Rey Mysterio, gets a chance to best his own time as he’s this year’s #1 entrant. Let’s hope this year he doesn’t spend the entire match lying on the ground. He’ll begin by squaring off against #2 John Morrison. Rey goes for a bulldog, but Morrison blocks it and nearly throws Mysterio out in the process. Mysterio reenters and tosses Morrison over. He dangles from the top rope, but does not hit the ground. # 3 is Carlito and he goes after both guys. Carlito gets tossed onto the apron, but he hangs on. He comes back in with a springboard moonsault on Morrison. Some impressive near eliminations thus far. MVP is out at #4 and gets a nice chant from the crowd despite being in the midst of a losing streak at this time. He attempts the Ballin’ elbow on Morrison, but Mysterio blocks it. MVP hits Mysterio with a suplex and then completes the elbow drop. The string of athletic competitors comes to a halt as The Great Khali comes out at #5. Everybody goes after him, but he knocks everyone down. Khali is the only guy standing, but nobody has been eliminated yet. Our world tour continues with the big Russia, Vladimir Koslov out at #6. He goes after Khali and manages to single-handledly eliminate him with a clothesline. MVP attempts to hit Koslov with a running kick, but he avoids it. Koslov then dumps MVP out. Carlito tries his luck, but Koslov catches him with a spinebuster. He throws him out shortly thereafter. Before he can do anymore damage, Triple H enters at #7. The two of them tangle and after Koslov gets hit with a facebuster, HHH is able to throw him out of the ring. #8 is Randy Orton who enters the match surrounded in controversy after punting Vince McMahon in the head the past week on RAW. He comes in and goes right after HHH. Orton attempts the RKO, but HHH blocks it. As he tries for the Pedigree, Morrison comes over and hits him with a kick. Then Mysterio nails Orton with a plancha. He follows that up with a 619 on Morrison. Both members of Cryme Time come out at #9 and they flip a coin to decide who will actually get to enter. JTG wins the flip and Shad learns after the fact that it was a two-headed coin. Cute. Meanwhile no one is close to being eliminated at the moment. #10 is Ted Dibiase (Jr.) who was part of Orton’s Legacy group at the time. Dibiase throws both JTG and Morrison over the top rope, but both hang on. As they hang on the top rope, they both begin to kick and fight each other, however neither is successful in knocking the other guy down. Meanwhile, Mysterio sends Dibiase over the top rope and nearly eliminates him. Credit to everyone thus far for some daredevil moves to avoid elimination.

Things just got a whole lot more interesting with Mr. Serious Chris Jericho out at #11. He goes after HHH which is a strategy I wouldn’t recommend if you want to stay in the match. Jericho blocks a Pedigree attempt and then tries to put on the Walls of Jericho, but HHH powers out of that. HHH throws Jericho over and he has a near elimination of his own. #12 is Mike Knox who immediately goes after Mysterio. While most guys are fighting, Orton and Dibiase gather in a corner to strategize. Morrison’s tag partner, The Miz enters at #13. He manages to get a shot in on everyone. Orton hits RKOs on Morrison, Miz, and JTG. His onslaught is stopped by HHH, who hits him with a Pedigree. HHH grabs Morrison and whips him into the Miz, causing both guys to fall over the top rope and to the ground. Mysterio gets thrown out, but he walks on the backs of Morrison and Miz to avoid touching the ground and reenter the ring. Man, another innovative spot. Finlay is the #14 entrant and fights everyone that comes near him. He comes close to eliminating Dibiase, but Orton makes the save. And now Orton’s group gets stronger as the other Legacy member, Cody Rhodes enters at #15. The three of them gang up and attack the rest of the entrants in the ring. Mysterio tries a springboard move on Orton, but Orton catches him with an RKO. Man, if Mysterio had been this active and innovative in ’06, I would not have minded him getting the longevity record. #16 is GONG!, The Undertaker. Everybody backs up bracing for him to enter the ring. He strikes everyone in sight and then throws out JTG. He hits Rhodes with Snake Eyes and a big boot. Speaking of Rhodes, his older brother, Dustin, aka Goldust comes out at #17. The two brothers have a staredown before Goldust knocks him down with a right hand. He backdrops Cody over the top rope, but he manages to hang on. Orton helps his friend by giving Goldust an RKO. He then orders Rhodes to throw out Goldust, which he does. #18 is C.M. Punk and he everyone with kicks and knees. HHH attempts to hit him with a Pedigree, but Punk escapes and connects with the GTS on him. Wow! Punk should savor that moment. Mark Henry is the #19 entrant. Way too many guys in there right now with no one close to being eliminated. Shelton Benjamin is out at #20 and he must be thrilled that Shawn Michaels is not entered into this year’s Rumble match. Punk and Jericho precariously fight with each other on the top rope. Benjamin hops up there with both of them and takes both guys down to the mat. HHH tosses Punk, but he manages to hang on.

William Regal is out at #21 and I don’t see him being the guy that will help thin the herd. He goes after Punk, who just recently beat him for the Intercontinental title. A big boot by the Undertaker eliminates Mark Henry off camera. #22 is Kofi Kingston and hits everyone in sight. Although with as many guys in the right as there are right now, he barely has to move and he can hit someone. Taker catches a flying Benjamin and slams him to the mat. He then casually dumps him out of the ring. Meanwhile Mysterio has wrapped himself upside down around the ring post in order to avoid elimination. Kane is the #23 entrant and hopefully he can do some house cleaning. Kane and Taker have a face off and decide they’ll team up this year. They chokeslam Dibiase together. Meanwhile Punk manages to pull Regal over the top rope and send him to the floor. What’s up? Well R-Truth is out at #24. That’s what’s up. A numbers of guys team up to get rid of Kane, but they are unsuccessful. In a surprise return, Rob Van Dam enters at #25. He jumps in and hits Kane with a kick. A big RVD chant breaks out. As he hits Rolling Thunder on HHH and R-Truth, THE Brian Kendrick enters at #26. As Kingston does a 10 punch count on Knox, Kendrick runs up and shoves Kingston out of the ring. HHH then grabs Kendrick and immediately pitches him out of the ring. That may be the fastest elimination for someone who also manages to eliminate someone else. RVD throws Punk over the top rope, and he has another close elimination. #27 is Dolph Ziggler who sprints to the ring. He introduces himself to Kane, who takes his hand and immediately throws him out of the ring. #28 is Santino Marella. Upon entering the ring, he is immediately and I do mean immediately clotheslined right back out by Kane. That just broke the Warlord’s 2 second record. Crowd is legitimately bummed about that quick exit thought. Thus far the high numbers have not been very lucky. It’s another surprise at #29 as the very first Rumble winner, Hacksaw Jim Duggan comes out at #29. Crowd starts a USA chant. He should have been the guy to get the one second elimination. Finally at #30 is the Big Show and we can only hope he finally clears the ring of the midcarders.

He opts to square off against Taker instead. But before they can go at, Kane hits Show with an uppercut. Duggan comes over and tries to slam Show, but you can imagine how that goes. Show quickly dumps Duggan after that foolish attempt. Jericho hops on Show’s back and applies a sleeper. Show breaks out of it with a sideslam. Show grabs R-Truth and press slams him out of the ring. Show throws Punk out three times, but each time he manages to hang on. However, on the third save, Show walks over and punches him to send him to the floor. Meanwhile Mysterio and Knox have been eliminated, but the camera failed to capture how it happened. Hornswoggle comes in for some reason and goes after Kane. Kane easily swats him away and then eliminates Finlay. Not sure what the point of that was. Replays show that Big Show had eliminated Knox and Mysterio as they were fighting each other. Orton grabs HHH and hits him with a DDT from the second rope. Show and Taker now go at it slugging each other. RVD hits the five star frog splash on Orton, but as he gets up, Jericho throws him out of the ring. As Jericho smiles at his work, he turns around and gets attacked by Taker. Jericho manages to hit Taker with the codebreaker, but when he attempts a clothesline, Taker sidesteps him and dumps him out of the ring. As Kane attacks Orton, Dibiase and Rhodes run up behind him and throw him out. Legacy now work together on Taker while Show goes after HHH. Taker fights back and manages to deliver a chokeslam to all three of them. Taker boots Show, but he too manages to hang on. Taker tries to knock Show off the apron, but Orton comes over and attempts an RKO. Taker blocks that effort, but when he goes back over to Show, he gets pulled over the top rope. As they fight on the apron, Orton comes over and jawjacks Show to knock him to the floor. Taker continues to fight Legacy from the apron when Show yanks him to the floor. Taker and Show continue their brawl on the floor. Meanwhile, we’re down to the Final Four consisting of HHH and all three Legacy members. I don’t like those odds. The three of them triple-team HHH with Orton barking out orders. Orton goes for an RKO, but HHH shoves him off. As HHH attempts to Pedigree Rhodes, Orton comes over. HHH manages to backdrop Orton, but he hangs onto the apron. HHH completes the Pedigree on Rhodes and then throws out Dibiase. HHH grabs Rhodes and throws him out as well. However as he does that, Orton comes back in and comes up behind HHH to dump him out and win the match. Legacy then celebrate together in the ring to zero response from the crowd.

Bottom Line: Man, that was a rather uninspired finish to the match. I don’t care for Orton winning at all, but they at least could have done something more creative. Having Legacy team up killed the whole ‘every man for himself’ mantra associated with the match. The lack of response by the crowd proves they didn’t do a good job in either choosing a winner or effectively closing the match. As for the rest of the Rumble, I did like the number of creative near eliminations that several guys exhibited. That was a lot of fun. However, they needed more eliminations spread out throughout the match. Too many guys were still in there at the end and no one had the ability to do much other than punch and kick before the mass exodus in the closing minutes. This one is a definite drop in quality over last year’s. *** ¼