Royal Rumble Rewind: 1994

Now that the Rumble match was several years old, the WWF decided to start getting cute with the finish to the match. As you'll see here, it didn't exactly work out as well as they would have liked.

1994 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the Providence Civic Center in Providence, RI

#1 is Scott Steiner. #2 is Samu. Oh goodie, tag team wrestlers! Because we all know that they’ve got a real good shot of winning. Vince says that due to time restraints, intervals will be 90 seconds, not 2 minutes. Scott and Samu do nothing of great interest before the countdown to #3 happens. Fans count down to #3 thanks to the CASIO clock. For all your clock and calculator needs, think CASIO. Rick Steiner is #3. Well at least they’re getting rid of the tag teams early on. Steiner Brothers go to work on Samu, natch. Samu goes charging after the Steiners but they sidestep him and Samu gets his head caught in the ropes. OUCH! Scott releasese him and shoves him to the floor. #4 is Kwang. Interesting note… Kwang’s mother was a huge fan of the ‘60s Batman show. Her other sons’ names were Boff! Zapp! and Kapow! As Kwang enters the ring, he mists Rick. Scott and Kwang fight it out while Rick struggles to see. Coming in at #5 is “boooo” Owen Hart. Big time heel heat for him. Owen disposes of Rick pretty quickly and then goes over to help Kwang. Bart Gunn is next at #6. Bart and Owen pair off, as do Scott and Kwang. Strolling out at #7 is Diesel. Diesel decides to go with the “punch everyone once” method upon entering the ring. Soon, he sticks with Bart and then eliminates him shortly thereafter. Before Bart can get to his feet, Diesel has eliminated Scott as well. Owen doesn’t fare any better as he gets tossed too. Kwang goes for a spinning heel kick but misses. As he gets up, Diesel clotheslines him out of the ring. Four guys eliminated by Diesel in under 2 minutes. Fans are eating this up. #8 is Bob Backlund who last year broke the longevity record at the Rumble. Here, Diesel eliminates him in under a minute. A tale of two Rumbles for Backlund. Trying his luck at #9 is Billy Gunn. Billy gets booted and tossed out too. Later cowboy. While Diesel waits for the next entrant, we cut to the back where we see Kabuki and Tenyru attacking Lex Luger. Replacing Kamala at #10 is Virgil. Just like in his love life, Virgil gets dumped quickly here too. Diesel has now notched seven victims and counting.

#11 is Macho Man and I have a feeling he won’t go as quickly. Macho goes to town on Diesel, delivering lefts and rights. A couple of elimination attempts by Macho fail. Diesel receives some help from #12 Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett is able to toss Macho over, but he hangs on to the ropes. Coming back inside, Macho knees Jarrett in the back and then pitches him to the floor. Things don’t get any better for Macho though as Crush, the man he’s been feuding with, comes out at #13. Macho immediately goes after Crush and gets the better of him. Before long though, Crush and Diesel team up to attack Macho. As #14 Doink makes his way to the ring, Crush dumps Macho to the floor. While Diesel and Crush fight, Doink just stands back and laughs. Soon the heels stop their fighting and turn their attention to Doink. At #15 is Bam Bam Bigelow who certainly wants a piece of Doink. Diesel and Crush step aside as Bam Bam grabs Doink and press slams him to the floor. That’s no laughing matter for Doink. Diesel and Crush then try to immediately eliminate Bam Bam but can’t do it. Mabel is #16 and he’s one guy that could actually handle going against three guys. Diesel is waiting for Mabel and goes to work on him as soon as he hits the ring. Man these two could have one heck of a main event someday. Mabel gives each heel an avalanche in separate corners. Vroom Vroom! It’s Sparky Plugg (Bob Holly) replacing the 1-2-3 Kid at #17. Plugg goes after Crush but Bam Bam nails him from behind. #18 is Shawn Michaels. Diesel looks to want to fight Shawn but then shakes his hand. While Shawn and Diesel have their lovefest, Crush and Bam Bam come up and attack Diesel. Soon all the wrestlers gang up and eliminate Diesel. Right at the end, Shawn comes up to join the group. A last minute save attempt or an aid in the elimination? You make the call! Fans give Diesel a nice ovation as he leaves. As well they should. His performance is still remembered to this day. At #19 is Mo who gets less than half the pop Mabel received. Shawn is put on the brink of elimination by Plugg while Men on a Mission take it to Bam Bam.

The buzzer sounds for #20 and it’s Greg “the Hammer” Valentine. I’m surprised he didn’t bring his mask and enter the Rumble as Mr. Ugly. As the ring fills up, nothing exceptional is going on. Coming out for his second match of the night is Tatanka at #21. He goes right after Shawn and pounds away on him. Everyone seems to be milling around waiting for the next evacuation sequence. Kabuki is #22 and I doubt that he will clear a lot of guys out of the ring. The wrestlers gang up, shove Mo out of the way and eliminate Mabel. Lex Luger is running to the ring at #23 so I guess that lockerroom attack wasn’t so bad after all. Luger makes an immediate impact by eliminating his attacker Kabuki. Crush slows down Luger with a reverse atomic drop. #24 is Tenyru and Vince fears that he will team up with Kabuki and Crush to go after Luger. Too bad Luger just eliminated Kabuki not a minute ago. Look like Vince needs a SONY instant replay camera to go with his CASIO countdown clock. Shawn is once again teetering on the verge of elimination but manages to hold on. Buzzzzz! It’s time for #25 but no one pops out. It is assumed that it was supposed to be Bret Hart who couldn’t come out due to his earlier leg injury. Life goes on as perennial Rumble participant Rick Martel comes out as #26. Too bad Tito isn’t there or else they could renew their rivalry again. Now we have ten guys in there who are all punching and kicking and doing nothing to excite the fans. Two friends, Luger and Tatanka, start going at it but the crowd doesn’t seem to care. #27 is Bret Hart, who hobbles out to an awesome ovation from the fans. As he enters, Crush immediately approaches him and goes after his knee. Afa drags Fatu out at #28 and the ring now has twelve guys. This is way too much right now. Luger hoists Crush over the top rope and eventually gets help from Bam Bam, Plugg, and Bret to eliminate him. But just as we lose Crush, we gain Marty Jannetty at #29. A slugfest instantly starts between Jannetty and Shawn, which electrifies the crowd. Adam Bomb then rounds out the field at “lucky” #30.

So with no one left to come out, we still have nearly half the entrants left in the ring (13). Bret and Shawn eliminate Plugg and that’s the only time you’ll ever see those two work together. Vince delivers the sad news that the #25 no-show was Bastion Booger because he ate too much. Sadly, that’s what he said and not some poor attempt on my part to be funny. Still more punching and kicking as I wonder why they bothered cutting the intervals down to 1 ½ minutes if they were going to have them go this long after #30. Finally the exodus begins as extra fluff like Valentine, Martel, Bomb, and Mo get tossed. As Bam Bam gets eliminated by Luger, Shawn disposes of Janetty proving that he was the superior Rocker. Funny spot as Tenyru gives Fatu and Shawn a double noggin knocker; Shawn sells it, Fatu doesn’t it. I love small touches like that. Luger completes his retribution by eliminating Tenyru. That leaves us with a Final Four consisting of Bret, Shawn, Luger and Fatu. All four men take a corner, but soon the heels go after the faces. Pairing off is Shawn/Bret and Luger/Fatu. Shawn and Fatu manage to get Luger on the apron but no further. Fatu does the 360 sell after Luger hits him with the loaded forearm. The faces simultaneously eliminate Fatu and Shawn. Bret and Luger slug it out for a few seconds before going near the ropes and falling out together. A collective “huh?” is said among the crowd. Referee Earl Hebner believes Bret has won while Joey Marella says Luger is the winner. It takes Jack Tunney to come out and decide that both men won. Wow, way to fence ride Jack! It should be noted that when Luger was announced as the winner, it was a mix of cheers and boos. On the other hand, it was an overwhelming ovation for Bret when his name was called. Take a hint Vince!

Bottom Line: The star power was certainly better this year thanks to them making the decision that guys who fought earlier in the night could also be in the Rumble match. On the other hand, they kept way too much unnecessary talent in there for way too long. There is no reason that guys like Martel, Plugg, Valentine, Kabuki, and Tenyru should have been in there for more than five minutes. The ending was a nice new twist. Too bad both winners didn’t elicit the fan response that Vince would have liked to seen. *** ½