Royal Rumble Rewind: 1995

More experimenting took place in 1995 as they decided to have the entrants come out every 60 seconds instead of 2 minutes. On one hand when you have a roster as poor as this one is, you can't blame them for trying to get it over with as quickly as possible, but in general this move was a bad idea and never tried again.

1995 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the Sun Dome in Tampa, FL

Rumble match has 1-minute intervals this year instead of two. Vince claims that with 1-minute intervals, this will be the most fast-paced and action-filled Rumble ever. In reality, substitute fast-paced and action-filled with lame and crappy. Shawn Michaels is #1. British Bulldog is #2. Nothing wrong with these two starting out. Too bad they only get a minute instead of 2 to go at it alone. Bulldog gets a quick press slam on Shawn, but doesn’t throw him out. Where’s Heenan to call him a dumb limey? Shawn is whipped to the corner where he nearly flips out. #3 is Eli Blu, who would later be known as one of the Harris Brothers. No matter who he is, he sucks big time. Nothing happens before it’s time for #4 who is Duke “the Dumpster” Droese. Shawn goes after Droese, while Blu and the Bulldog tussle. Jimmy Del Ray is #5 and people are coming out way too quick. How can you tell any story here? Del Ray puts Shawn on the brink of elimination. #6 is Seone (the former Barbarian), who goes right after Shawn. The Bulldog clotheslines Del Ray to the floor to make him victim #1 tonight. In a cruel twist of irony, Tom Pritchard enters at #7 as his partner just left. Seone now press slams Shawn, but fails to put him out also. Stupid Samoan! Vince makes a stupid statement saying Duke Droese has the equal intellect of Shawn. And I laugh. Doink and Dink come out at #8 and I’m disappointed that it’s Doink who’s entered and not Dink. More nothingness as #9 KWANG makes his way down. Sidenote: Kwang is the sound of one hand clapping. Ever since Shawn and the Bulldog, we’ve had some real dud talent come out. Everyone battles it out, while Shawn takes a rest. #10 is Rick Martel and I eagerly anticipate Tito Santana to come out at any moment.

Owen Hart is #11, but he gets attacked by Bret before he gets to the ring. Officials send Bret back quickly though. #12 is Timothy Well, who receives a big pop. Oh wait, the pop was because Owen has already been eliminated by the Bulldog. Shawn backdrops Duke out and he lands on a referee. That begins spring-cleaning as Well, Martel, Pritchard and Doink all get tossed. As #13 Luke comes out, Eli Blu and Seone eliminate each other. Shawn makes quick work of Luke (big surprise there) and we’re down to the original two. They don’t do much before #14 Jacob Blu comes out. Blu initially handles both Shawn and the Bulldog, but soon Shawn dumps him as well. Bulldog gets Shawn over but not out. King Kong Bundy waddles out at #15. Shawn foolishly tries to eliminate Bundy instead of helping him dump the Bulldog. #16 is Mo and he is immediately and I do mean immediately eliminated by Bundy. Hands down, there is your big-time loser of the night. Bulldog tries to slam Bundy but that ends badly for Davey Boy. Mabel is #17 and somehow I think he’ll last just a big longer than Mo. Mabel and Bundy pair off for FOX’s new reality show, When Cellulite Collides. As #18 Butch enters, Mabel has already gotten Bundy out. That’s a bit surprising if you ask me. After Shawn eliminates Butch in normal Bushwacker fashion, Mabel and the Bulldog team up to try and get rid of him. Lex Luger comes out at #19 and makes an impact by immediately eliminating Mabel. #20 is the biggest turd known to the world, Mantaur. He goes right after Lex Luger.

More Wrestlecrap follows at #21 with the Portuguese Man O’War, Aldo Montoya. He tries to eliminate Shawn, but somehow I doubt he’ll be the one. Meanwhile, Luger and the Bulldog double-team Mantaur. #22 is Henry O. Godwinn, who attacks everyone upon entering the ring. Shawn is able to take another breather while others pair off. Billy Gunn runs down at #23 and blows up before hitting the ring. Luger cocks his arm ready to punch the Bulldog, until he sees who his target is. C’mon Luger, whatever happened to “every man for himself”? Following his partner’s lead, Bart Gunn comes out at #24. Bob Backlund at #25 enters to a chorus of boos. Bret again comes out and attacks Backlund before he can get into the ring. As Backlund finally makes it into the ring, Luger is right there and clotheslines him out. Meanwhile, Steven Dunn enters at #26. With Backlund eliminated, he and Bret go back at it and brawl to the back. As if this Rumble hasn’t been filled with a bunch of jokes already, I get the biggest laugh with #27 Dick Murdoch. He looks like a poor man’s Dusty Rhodes and moves about as well as him too. #28 is Adam Bomb and this ring is getting really clogged now. With Shawn once again close to elimination, Fatu comes out at #29. Fatu and Billy Gunn slug it out. Luger flushes the toiliet by eliminating Mantaur. Lucky #30 is Crush, who gets in the ring and dumps the Smoking Gunns, who were fighting each other. See Luger, they know it’s every man for himself.

Steven Dunn is tossed by Aldo, which must be really embarrassing. Shawn is so tired he needs the ropes to hold him up. Vince says to Lawler that he doubts two men will ever win the Rumble again, which is his subtle way for admitting that last year’s Rumble booking decision wasn’t the best. Murdoch tries his luck at dumping Shawn, but fails as well. Fatu gets tossed over the rope and Murdoch tries to get him off the apron with a headbutt. What an idiot! The headbutt doesn’t work on Samoans and Murdoch is left with a sore head. Bomb charges at Crush but he backdrops him out. Shawn gets tired of looking at the bright yellow jock strap and eliminates Aldo. Fatu does a 360-degree sell for a Crush clothesline. Then he gets tossed by Crush. After giving Godwinn an airplane spin, Murdoch tries to dump him but his momentum carries him out while Godwinn hangs on. Luger is able to backdrop and eliminate a charging HOG. That means our Final Four is Luger, Crush and the first 2 entrants, Shawn Michaels and the British Bulldog. Shawn and Crush double-team Luger, while the Bulldog takes a breather. Luger climbs on Crush in the corner, but Shawn comes over and knocks him out. Crush and Shawn initially strike a friendship, but Crush double-crosses Shawn. Crush gets Shawn up in a press slam, but Shawn rakes his face and escapes. With Crush temporarily blinded, the Bulldog is able to clothesline him out. It’s now come full circle as the first two, are now the last two. Bulldog gets Shawn in yet another press slam, but only crotches Shawn on the top rope. A fatigued Shawn gets back in the ring only to be clotheslined out and over by the Bulldog. A jubilant Bulldog celebrates in the corner when Shawn comes back in and knocks Bulldog to the floor. The bell rings and the referees say Shawn is the winner. As the replay shows, only one of Shawn’s feet touched the floor. This was an amazing feat of strength, as Shawn was really close to having both feet touch. Cool ending!

Bottom Line: The 1-minute intervals really hurt the Rumble match here. No one was given ample time to do anything in there besides Shawn and the Bulldog. Plus it features a real Who’s Who in Wrestlecrap History lineup of entrants. One of the worst Rumbles, but the ending really prevents it from getting a worse rating. **