Royal Rumble Rewind: 1993

This year marked the first time in the Rumble history that the winner would receive a title match at Wrestlemania, a stipulation that has stuck with the match ever since.

1993 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the Arco Arena in Sacremento, CA

Ric Flair is #1 and Heenan doesn’t seem as worried this year. He figures that since he won it at #3 last year, what’s a mere two more spots. I concur. Bob Backlund is #2 and you can hear the snickering throughout the crowd. Or maybe it’s just me. The ironic thing is that sold Backlund as this ‘old timer’ and yet Flair is the same age as him. These two spend the opening minutes proving that while Backlund may have the upper hand, Flair will always have more class. Heenan notes that a Bret Hart/Bob Backlund match would be something. Little did he know that those two would fight for the WWF Title nearly two years later. Papa Shango is #3. He gives Flair a breather and beats up Backlund. Flair says thank you by tossing Shango out when he was trying to eliminate Backlund. Flair then almost eliminates Backlund, but he hangs on to the bottom rope. Ted Dibiase is #4 as his string of lousy draws continues. Dibiase and Flair join up and attack Backlund. Backlund manages to survive another 2 minutes and gets some help from Brian Knobbs who is #5. He goes after both heels. Knobbs gives Dibiase the Pit Stop and to my knowledge that is the only PPV Pit Stop, strangely enough. Virgil is #6 and goes after Dibiase. Does he know how to fight anyone else? Knobbs charges at Dibiase, Dibiase ducks and Knobbs eliminates himself. Making his WWF PPV debut is Jerry “the King” Lawler at #7. Him and Flair go at it in the corner while Backlund and Virgil take it to Dibiase. Lawler unloads a flurry of punches on Flair, prompting Flair to crawl under the bottom rope and take a breather. Max Moon is #8. BWHAHAHA! I can’t believe any self-respecting man would wear a costume like that. It looks like someone vomited cotton candy all over him. Flair dumps Moon over the top rope but Moon skins the cat and comes back in. Everyone is just kinda milling around in there doing nothing of note. Moon gives Lawler a spinning heel kick in the corner. He goes for a second one but this time Lawler dumps him to the floor. #9 is Tenyru and I say whoop di doo. Hey, I’m a poet and I didn’t even know it. Tenyru and Flair get into a chopfest, which ends with a Flair Flop. Mr. Perfect is #10 to inject some interest back into this match. Mr. Perfect goes after Flair, natch, and gets the better of him. Monsoon announces during their brawl that they will fight each other the next night on Monday Night RAW in a Loser Leaves Town match. I’m guessing neither man is winning the Rumble then.

#11 is Skinner but most people don’t care, as they are too busy watching Flair and Perfect. Shortly after Skinner enters, Perfect clotheslines Flair out of the ring. Boy is Heenan irate! Koko is #12 and as he runs down to ringside he pulls up his Hammer pants like he’s Steve Urkel. Now there are a couple of people you want to emulate. Perfect tosses Skinner over the top rope but he hoists himself back in. As he does that, Perfect dropkicks him to the floor. Despite Skinner’s elimination, the jobber to superstar ratio is still way too high right now. Things don’t get better as Samu comes out at #13. Let’s see, anything interesting going on? Well the guy in the fourth row just spilled his beer but other than that, nothing really. Oh god, Berzerker is #14 and I’m praying that the top rope just breaks now immediately eliminating everyone in there. Perfect eliminates Lawler with a back body drop to draw a mild pop from the crowd. Dibiase comes up from behind Perfect and tosses him over. Perfect tries to hang on for dear life but the combination of Dibiase kicking and an already eliminated Lawler tugging on him is too much for him to overcome. Great, now there is no one of interest in there. (No offense, Virg) Undertaker is #15 and there was much rejoicing. Taker enters and it’s bye bye Samu and sayonara Tenyru. While Taker was cleaning house, Berzerker took Backlund through the middle ropes and attacked him with a chair on the outside. Cock-a-doodle-do Terry Taylor is #16. Taylor begins brawling with Koko and Dibiase comes up and eliminates both of them. Looks like the Rooster gets the Bushwacker Butch award for brevity this year. As Dibiase gloats about getting rid of them, Taker chokeslams him and then clotheslines him out of the ring. As the Undertaker deals with the Berzerker, IT waddles to ringside. That “IT” is the near 8 ft. tall Giant Gonzalez (unnamed at this point) led by Harvey Whippleman. As Gonzales enters the ring, Taker eliminates the Berzerker. #17 is Damian Demento but 99% of the audience doesn’t know it as they can’t take their eyes of this Giant. Gonzales finally begins to pummel the Undertaker after a long staredown and knocks him to the floor. So by WWF logic, that means Undertaker is eliminated. Ugh. IRS comes down as #18 but the focus remains on Gonzales and Taker. These new entrants won’t even get into the ring. Finally, the Usual Bunch of Idiots gets rid of Gonzales while Taker is left for dead. (Pardon my pun) This now leaves us with Demento, IRS and Backlund, who was still knocked out from the Berzerker attack. Tatanka is #19 and he helps out Backlund against Demento and IRS. Meanwhile, Paul Bearer comes down to revive and recover the Undertaker.

#20 is Jerry Sags and I see we’ve gone back to filling the ring with crap. Sags goes after IRS while Tatanka and Backlund try to eliminate Demento. Typhoon is #21 and the vomit begins to rise in my throat. Heenan accidentally refers to Typhoon as Tugboat. Now if only Heenan would have referred to Terry Taylor as the Red Rooster, my night would have been made. Afa drags down Fatu at #22. Who in their right mind honestly believes a member of a tag team will EVER win a Rumble? We have 4 people from tag teams in there right now if that says anything. Make that 5 as Earthquake waltzes down at #23. He goes right after Typhoon. (Huh?) Well at least we’re not forced to watch them beat up on separate guys. Typhoon charges at Quake and Quake heaves him to the floor. I have no idea why they had them do that. They never feuded after this to my knowledge. #24 is Carlos Colon, who is referred by Monsoon as a youngster despite the fact that he looks over 40. For those of you who don’t know Colon, you’re not missing anything. Tatanka tosses Demento over the top rope but he hangs on. Colon then back body drops Demento out of the ring for good. Well, I’m glad to see they are letting people who are here for one-time deals eliminate people as oppose to the young up-and-comers who are in the middle of undefeated streaks. El Matador is #25. A charging Fatu gets eliminated by Backlund. He’s been in the Rumble for over 40 minutes and he finally gets his first elimination. Rick Martel is #26 and he goes after Santana. Geez, and I thought the Virgil/Dibiase feud was bad. These two go all the way back to ’88. 1888, that is. Quake ducks as IRS charges prompting IRS to eliminate himself. Santana almost eliminates Backlund but he crawls in under the bottom rope to the delight of the fans. I don’t blame them. Who else do they have to cheer for right now? Yokozuna finally makes his way down at #27 to almost no reaction. Here comes the mass evacuation again…later Tatanka, adios Carlos, so long Earthquake. Owen Hart came out at #28 amidst Yoko’s spring-cleaning. Joining the jobber parade is Repo Man at #29. All of the jobbers wise up and collectively try and dump Yoko but they can’t get it done. And that my friends is why they’ll always remain jobbers. Our final entrant is Macho Man who’s put at this spot so it isn’t so painfully obvious who is going to win here.

With all 30 men now out, we thankfully head to the finish in a hurry. Santana, Sags, Owen and Repo are all evacuated pretty quickly. In Owen’s case, he was evacuated quickly and nastily. He landed poorly on his knee that put him on the shelf for a while, if I recall correctly. That leaves us with a Final Four of Macho Man, Yokozuna, Rick Martel and Bob Backlund. Man, if Dibiase is cursed with early draws, then the reverse is true for Martel who always seems to be there at the end. Yoko is choking out Macho while Martel tries to get rid of Backlund. Backlund perches Martel up in the corner and then punches him to the floor. Backlund gets brave and tries to attack Yoko. After a failed dropkick attempt, Backlund foolishly charges Yoko and gets eliminated by the big sumo. Backlund managed to survive long enough though to break Ric Flair’s record and become the new longevity champion at 1 hour and 3 mins. Although, it was later stated that he was actually only in for 61 minutes. Still an impressive feat. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Macho makes a futile attempt to eliminate Yoko. He actually knocks Yoko down and then tries to cover him. What a moron! Yoko heaves Macho off completely over the top rope to win the #1 contendership at Wrestlemania.

Bottom Line: With a third of the Rumble comprised of tag team wrestlers and over another third made up of jobbers, this was a weak field that left little doubt as to who was going to win it. This Rumble had most guys just punching and walking, which is never exciting. Then when you add in the Giant Gonzales mess, it makes for a bad Rumble. The Backlund story was interesting and Perfect and Flair had their moments but it wasn’t enough to save this dog. * ½