Royal Rumble Rewind: 2004

This should have been a memorable Rumble, but the tragic events surrounding Chris Benoit have put a mar on this show that many wrestling fans now refuse to watch.

2004 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the Wachovia Center in Philadelphia, PA

J.R. and Tazz are doing the announcing for this. Good. Per order by Paul Heyman, Chris Benoit has to enter #1. #2 is Evolution’s Randy Orton. Benoit begins by kicking Orton down in the corner. Orton tries to toss out Benoit, but he won’t budge. #3 is Mark Henry. Holla Holla Holla! He easily manhandles both men. As Henry works over Benoit, Tajiri comes out at #4. Tajiri lays some kicks into Orton and then hits the handspring elbow. Benoit comes over and hits Tajiri with a German suplex. Henry tosses Orton over, but he hangs on and comes back in. Bradshaw is the #5 entrant and he gives everyone a Clothesline from Hell. However, when he attempts it on Benoit, Chris blocks it and applies the Crossface. Bradshaw gets him up on his shoulders, but Benoit shifts his weight and tosses him to the floor. #6 is Rhyno and he goes after Benoit. Meanwhile, Tajiri somewhat gets Henry in the Tarantula. While in the hold, Rhyno gores Henry, which causes Tajiri to fall to the floor. Then Benoit is able to knock the woozy Henry over the top rope and to the floor. Rhyno and Orton team up against Benoit, but he won’t go out. A replay shows Tajiri had misted Henry before putting him in the Tarantula. After all that craziness, Matt Hardy comes out at #7. Hardy knocks down Rhyno and taunts, so Benoit throws him over the top rope; however he hangs on and reenters. We’re now paired off with Rhyno facing Hardy and Orton taking on Benoit. #8 is Scott Steiner and we can only hope this appearance is better than his last. He comes in and attacks everyone. Getting no response from the crowd is Matt Morgan at #9. Things have slowed down a lot with most of the guys lying down. Flying in at #10 is the Hurricane, who hits Hardy with a high crossbody. Hurricane goes after Morgan, but he grabs him and immediately tosses him to the floor. Morgan throws Hardy over, but he again hangs on.

Can you dig it? Because Booker T is out at #11. He comes in and attacks Steiner. A lot of punching and kicking right now. #12 is Kane, which should mean house cleaning time. Before he gets to the ring, Steiner is eliminated by Booker T. Kane enters and it’s chokeslams for everyone. The buzzer sounds and the Undertaker’s gong plays. Kane freaks out since he buried him at Survivor Series. Waiting to see who it is, Kane gets dumped out by Booker T. Now Spike Dudley comes out as apparently the #13 entrant. Kane grabs him and chokeslams him on the entrance ramp. That, in effect, ends his night before he even gets to the ring. We’ve paired off again as it’s Orton and Rhyno, Benoit and Hardy, and Booker and Morgan. As Rikishi comes in at #14, Benoit backdrops Rhyno out of the ring to eliminate him. Dancing his way out at #15 is Frenchman Rene Dupree. Dupree drops Hardy across the top rope and then knocks him to the floor. Dupree dances in celebration and then is eliminated himself via a superkick by Rikishi. Choo choo! It’s A-Train at #16 and he goes after Rikishi. Morgan misses a big boot on Benoit, who then tosses him to the floor. As most try to gang up on A-Train, Orton comes over and dumps out Rikishi. Now Orton shoves out Booker. As Shelton Benjamin makes his way on out at #17, Benoit is able to eliminate A-Train. Benjamin goes for a big kick on Orton, but he dodges it and throws him out. We’re down to the two men who started this thing. Shades of ’95! Benoit and Orton go at it and end up colliding with each other. With both men down, Lamont runs out to announce #18, Ernest ‘the Cat’ Miller. Those two dance as Tazz hilariously sings along. Somebody call my momma! Benoit and Orton get back up and toss out both of the dancing fools. Nice comedy spot. Orton goes after Benoit again as Kurt Angle enters at #19. I doubt he’s out here for comedy. Naturally, he goes after Benoit; picking up where they left off at last year’s Rumble. Orton gladly takes a break as they fight. Things just got a lot fruitier as #20 is Rico. As Orton gives Rico the RKO, Benoit gives Angle some German suplexes. With Rico out cold, Orton is easily able to dump him to the floor. Benoit goes for a diving headbutt, but Angle pops up top and hits him.

Test’s music plays, but nobody shows up. Suddenly, we cut backstage and see Test lying on the floor. Austin sees he can’t compete and yells at the unseen assailant that he now has to go out as the #21 entrant. We hear the tires screech and Mick Foley comes out. He naturally goes right after Orton. The two slug it out with Foley winning the exchange. Foley hits a running clothesline that eliminates both men. Despite that, Foley continues attacking him on the floor. With all the action, we nearly miss Christian entering at #22. Foley grabs the steps and lays out WWE official, Fit Finlay. He turns around and Orton waffles him with a wicked chair shot. Foley recovers and pulls out Mr. Socko. However, he applies it to Nunzio, who’s the #23 entrant. Now Foley and Orton brawl all the way to the back. Meanwhile, Christian and Benoit attempt to eliminate Angle. As the action continues in the ring, Nunzio sits on the outside and watches. #24 is the Big Show, which is a good number for a man his size. He comes in and beats up everyone. Chris Jericho comes out at #25 and immediately helps his friend Christian against Kurt Angle. Everyone gangs up on Show, but can’t eliminate him. The ring begins to fill up again as Charlie Haas enters at #26. Jericho and Christian throw Benoit over the top rope, but he manages to hang on. Now Christian tries to toss Jericho, but he hangs on as well. When Christian sees this, he comes over and Jericho manages to backdrop him to the floor. So much for that friendship. Making his ‘glorious’ (only in his mind) return is Billy Gunn at #27. He enters and hits Fameassers on Angle, Jericho and Show. Whoopee. #28 is John Cena and Show is waiting for him. But before he enters, Cena spots Nunzio still sitting on the floor and throws him into the ring. Cena then enters and gets jumped by Show. People gang up on Show again as RVD comes out at #29. Everyone kind of mills around waiting to hit the big finish. Rounding out this year’s field is Goldberg at #30. He comes in and delivers a few spears. Nunzio hops on Goldberg’s back, but he still manages to throw Hass out. Goldberg then flips Nunzio off of him and gives him a spear. He then clotheslines Gunn to eliminate him. Good! Goldberg picks up Nunzio and press slams him to the floor. That took care of all the dead weight. As Goldberg goes to jackhammer Show, Brock Lesnar runs out and nails Goldberg with an F5. Sweet! Goldberg yells at Brock, which allows Angle to come up from behind and throw him out. Even better! Everyone goes after Show, but to no avail. Show fends then all off until Jericho chopblocks him. Now everyone hits a finisher on Show. The remaining guys try to pick him up, but aren’t successful. Suddenly Show grabs Cena and throws him to the floor. RVD hops on Show in the corner, but he gets tossed to the floor too.

Our Final Four are Benoit, Angle, Jericho, and Show. I’m definitely cool with that. Show tosses Jericho, but he skins the cat. Jericho goes after Show some more. Again, he gets tossed and again he holds on. Now Jericho hits Show with a top rope bulldog. Jericho puts Show in the Walls of Jericho and he taps. Does no good here. Angle breaks up the hold and brawls with Jericho. Show grabs Jericho and then chokeslams him out of the ring. Angle manages to hit Show with the Angle Slam and then gives one to Benoit too. Angle pulls Show in the ankle lock and again Show taps. Show manages to get to the ropes and leverages himself to eliminate Angle using his legs. Wow! As Show tries to reenter, Benoit hits him with a diving headbutt. Benoit charges, but Show grabs him. Benoit escapes the chokeslam attempt and applies the Crossface. Once again, Show taps. Show gets out and hits Benoit with a sidewalk slam. At this point, Benoit has the longevity record, besting Bob Backlund’s time from ’93. Show presses Benoit, but he manages to shift and get Show in a headlock. Benoit goes over the top rope and starts dragging Show with him. Slowly Benoit keeps tugging and eventually pulls Show to the floor to win it. Benoit has gone coast to coast to win the Rumble!

Bottom Line: Benoit finally won the big one and while recent events have marred this accomplishment, there’s no denying that this was a feel good moment at the time. Even if you ignore Benoit’s victory, this ends up being a pretty fantastic Rumble. There were hardly any slow spots. You also had a few surprises and a few laughs. They also did a nice job at having a large number of stars still in it at the end who could have legitimately won it. Perhaps most important of all, this Rumble did a great job of setting up key feuds that would play out until Wrestlemanaia. That’s always a good mark of decent storytelling. This is a solid Rumble through and through. **** ¾

Royal Rumble Rewind: 2002

In 2002, the WWF was going through some big transitions as they tried to find ways to integrate the former WCW guys into their roster. But on this night, they made sure that one of their own, the returning Triple H was front and center.

2002 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the Phillips Arena in Atlanta, GA

Rikishi is #1 and Goldust is #2. That is perhaps the oddest pairing to start off the Rumble. By the way, Goldust is one of four superstars making their big return tonight in this match. The two trade rights to begin. Rikishi hurls Goldust over, but he hangs on. Upon re-entry, Goldust goes low on him. Rikishi dumps Goldust again, but again he hangs on. #3 enters and it’s the Big Boss Man. Goldust and the Bossman try to team up, but Rikishi fends them both off. Nothing much happens when Bradshaw comes out at #4. He comes in and manhandles everyone. Rikishi knocks down the Bossman and gives him the Stinkface. Rikishi kicks the Bossman and then clotheslines him out of the ring. Lance Storm comes out at #5 and he goes after Goldust. Rikishi tries to eliminate Bradshaw, while Storm tries to get rid of Goldust. #6 is Al Snow and he attacks everything in sight. Bradshaw blasts Storm with the Clothesline from Hell, but can’t get rid of him. We’ve yet to get a major name in this Rumble as #7 is Billy Gunn. Some of my least favorite stars are in the ring right now. Gunn comes in and gets jumped by Bradshaw. Storm and Snow get each other onto the apron. Snow blocks a kick by Storm and then delivers a kick of his own to eliminate him. Bradshaw gets Goldust onto the apron, but as he tries to kick him to the floor, Gunn comes from behind and dumps him out of the ring. Suddenly things perk up because here’s the Undertaker at #8. Taker comes in and destroys everybody. Out goes Goldust, out goes Snow, out goes Rikishi and finally out goes Gunn. Taker is standing tall and standing alone. Matt Hardy has the unfortunate luck of being #9. The Hardyz have history with Taker, as he recently put both of them and Lita on the shelf. Taker quickly tries to chokeslam Matt when Lita comes in and tries to help. Taker grabs her too, but she kicks him low. Now Matt and Lita put the boots to Taker. As Taker tries to suplex Matt out of the ring, he gets saved by his brother Jeff, who’s out at #10. The Hardyz now begin to double-team Taker. They go for Poetry in Motion, but Taker catches Jeff and dumps him to the floor. Taker then gives Matt the Last Ride and eliminates him.

The sorry sap at #11 is Tough Enough winner, Maven. Taker begins to attack Maven, but the Hardyz come in and jump him again. Taker disposes of them again, but as he talks trash, Maven dropkicks him from behind and knocks him out of the ring. A huge crowd pop for that shocker. Taker comes back in the ring and begins to attack Maven. Taker takes him out of the ring and blasts him with a chair. As the beatdown continues, Scotty 2 Hotty strolls out at #12. Taker knocks down Scotty and then goes back to Maven. Taker takes Maven into the crowd and continues the assault. As Christian comes out at #13, Taker attacks Maven by the concession stand by throwing him through the glass of a popcorn cart. Neither Maven, nor Scotty have been eliminated, but since Christian is the only one in the ring, he takes a rest on the ropes. Scotty finally makes it in and dukes it out with Christian. Meanwhile, Maven for all intents and purposes has been eliminated. As they fight, DDP enters at #14. DDP hits Christian with the Diamond Cutter, but then Scotty kicks him and he falls through the ropes. Scotty then bulldogs Christian and gives him the Worm. However, DDP comes in and throws him out of the ring. The #15 entrant is Chuck Palumbo, who gets into a slugfest with DDP. We get more nothingness when the Godfather returns at #16. The Godfather brings out an entire row of hos and dances with them. While that happens, Christian and Palumbo team up to eliminate DDP off-screen. The Godfather’s antics last the whole two minutes and it’s already time for Albert to come out at #17. He comes in and manhandles everyone. As Albert tries to get rid of the Godfather, Christian and Palumbo come from behind and throw him to the floor. The Godfather attempts the Ho Train on both Christian and Palumbo. However, they both avoid it and then clothesline him out of the ring. Christian and Palumbo start to go at it when Perry Saturn arrives at #18. The three blandly fight for two minutes. The boredom ends when Austin enters at #19. Not surprisingly, he eliminates all three in quick fashion. Realizing he has time to kill, he brings Christian and Palumbo back in and eliminates them again. Austin checks his watch again and waits until another returning star, Val Venis comes out at #20. Austin brings Val in and quickly stomps a mudhole in him. Val starts to mount an offensive, but Austin comes back with the Lou Thesz Press.

Now the #21 entrant, Test makes his way to the ring. Test and Val team up to attack Austin. Heel miscommunication leads to Test giving Val the big boot. Austin is then able to clothesline Val out of the ring. Test goes for the boot on Austin, but misses. Austin then gives him a Stunner and eliminates him. As Austin waits, he gets some competition at #22 in the form of HHH, who’s recently back from quad surgery. The two do a long staredown before going at it. Just as they start going at it, the Hurricane arrives at #23. When he enters, both men are down. He tries to chokeslam both men, but they just look at him and then throw him out of the ring. Austin and HHH go at it again, when we get our #24 entrant, Farooq. Farooq tries to divide and conquer, but soon he suffers a Stunner and then gets clotheslined out by HHH. Austin and HHH continue to go at it when the best of the returning stars, Mr. Perfect joins us at #25. Perfect takes his time to come in, but then jumps Austin when he does. As Austin and HHH try to get Perfect out, he’s able to spit out his gum and swat it away. Truly awesome! Making his first Rumble appearance, here’s Kurt Angle at #26. We’ve paired off now with Angle taking on HHH and Austin squaring off against Perfect. The crowd starts a “You Suck”, “What?” chant. Nice! Angle gets close to eliminating HHH when Austin makes the save. Big Show arrives at #27 and he destroys everybody. Show’s in complete control, but he hasn’t eliminated anyone. Now Kane comes out at #28. He and Show duke it out, but nobody moves. Kane lowblows Show and then slams him over the top rope to get rid of him. Wow! Kane turns around and receives a Stunner from Austin. Angle then gives him an Angle Slam to the floor. Double wow! We’re back to that foursome duking it out. RVD enters at #29 and with perfect timing. Angle is lying on the mat, so RVD enters by giving him the Five Star Frog Splash. He then kicks down everyone and gives Austin rolling thunder. However, he turns around and receives the Pedigree from HHH. Our final entrant tonight is the five-time WCW champ, Booker T. He comes in and tosses out RVD, who was still out from the Pedigree. Major bummer there. With everyone else preoccupied, Booker decides to do a Spinaroonie. When he pops up though, he gets hit with a Stunner that knocks him over the top rope and to the floor.

We’re left with a Final Four of: Austin, Angle, Perfect and HHH. That’s a pretty awesome quartet. Angle goes for the Angle Slam on Austin, but he escapes and tries for a Stunner. Angle shoves him off and into HHH, who attempts to give him a Pedigree. Austin reverses that and catapults HHH into the turnbuckle. Angle follows that up with an Angle Slam on HHH. Awesome sequence! Now Angle gives Austin three German suplexes. Angle and Perfect try to eliminate Austin, but can’t get it done. Austin hoists Perfect up, but Angle runs up and dumps Austin to the floor. Shocking! Austin pulls Perfect out of the ring and starts to attack him. Angle comes out and throws Austin into the steps. As Angle and Perfect put the boots to HHH, Austin comes in with a chair and blasts both of them. Then he nails HHH. Perfect holds HHH for Angle, but Angle accidentally clotheslines Perfect instead. Perfect and Angle now battle. Perfect hits Angle with the Perfectplex and Perfect neckbreaker. However, HHH gets up and clotheslines him out of the ring. HHH tackles Angle and punches away on him. Angle comes back with a belly-to-belly suplex. HHH charges and Angle backdrops him over the top rope. Angle thinks he’s won, but HHH held on. HHH comes back in, gives Angle a facebuster and then clotheslines him out of the ring to win the 2002 Royal Rumble.

Bottom Line: They certainly back-loaded this Rumble. Aside from Taker’s shocking elimination, nothing interesting happened for the first 2/3rds of this Rumble. Given that they had just gained a bunch of talent from WCW, the roster for this Rumble was weaker than you would have expected. The last part of the Rumble was solid, but not strong enough to make this a great one. The returning stars were nice, but it would have been better had they been actual surprises instead of announced weeks prior to the show. In the end, the HHH win wasn’t terribly shocking, but it was the right move, given he was a top star returning from a lengthy injury. *** ½