Royal Rumble Rewind: 2010

As we get closer to the end, we look back at the 2010 Rumble which featured another surprising return who managed to come back and win it all

2010 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the Phillips Arena in Atlanta, GA

#1 is Dolph Ziggler, who’s theme song claims he is perfection. He’ll need to be if he’s to win this match. He’ll begin this match against Evan Bourne, who is #2. Bourne uses his speed to gain an early advantage. A standing dropkick by Ziggler nearly sends Bourne out. A sloppy ‘rana by Bourne puts Ziggler on the apron. Ziggler hits the Zig Zag, but Bourne recovers and connects with Air Bourne. Out to save us all is C.M. Punk at #3. Punk makes quick work of both guys, sending them out and to the floor. He then asks Serena to get him a mic. Punk says those two were just the first of 27 others who will be saved tonight. #4 is JTG, who must have once again won the coin toss. He foolishly tries for a 10-punch count on Punk who dumps him to the floor. And now we get more sermonizing. He claims he’ll be the first straight-edged Rumble winner. To do so, he’ll have to go through The Great Khali, who is #5. Punk tells Khali he can make him greater. He asks Khali to raise his hand and make a pledge. Khali chops him instead. As Khali applies the head vice, the second woman ever to enter the Rumble, Beth Phoenix, is the #6 entrant. Khali picks her up and places her on the apron. Beth grabs Khali and lays a big kiss on him that sends him over the top rope and to the floor. Beth now goes after Punk and attempts to eliminate him. He escapes and hits her with the GTS. As Zack Ryder comes out at #7, Punk easily dumps out Beth. Punk asks Ryder if he’d like to join the Straight Edge Society and then nails him with the microphone. It doesn’t take too much more after that to eliminate him as well. A ‘C.M. Punk’ chant begins. He has been ruling the Rumble thus far. Punk says he is better than whoever will come out next. #8 is Triple H and yet somehow I don’t think that Punk will recant his statement. HHH comes in and takes it right to Punk. As HHH connects with a spinebuster, Drew McIntyre enters at #9. He takes his time coming to the ring. HHH meets him when he does get in the ring and hits him with a running knee. Punk attempts the GTS on HHH, but he blocks it and throws him out. That is very disappointing. #10 is Ted Dibiase and he goes after HHH. Dibiase and McIntrye begin to team up to work over HHH. Matt Striker is already beginning to grate on me with his moronic rhetoric questions that he tries so hard to make profound.

John Morrison enters at #11 and he attacks both Dibiase and McIntyre. Hard to believe this is the first time tonight that we’ve as many as four guys in the match. Morrison connects (sort of) with Starship Pain on McIntyre, but then gets clotheslined by HHH. #12 is Kane and he enters with a flying clothesline on HHH. He takes down everyone in the ring but has yet to eliminate anyone yet. He chokeslams HHH as Cody Rhodes comes out at #13. He saves his partner Dibiase who was nearly eliminated thanks to Kane. Rhodes sends Morrison to the apron, but he hangs on. Morrison reenters the ring by springing off the top rope, but Rhodes hits him with a dropkick in midair. MVP is #14, but before he can make it to the ring, The Miz runs out and nails him with the U.S. title. Legacy work on eliminating HHH while Morrison hits a spin kick on McIntyre. Carlito enters at #15 and I had honestly forgotten he was still employed with the company at this point. He begins to hit the Backstabber on several of the guys in the ring. And after briefly appearing a moment ago, The Miz officially enters at #16. Suddenly MVP runs out from the back and goes after The Miz. He tackles Miz causing both of them to fall out and be eliminated. #17 is Fat…er…I mean, Matt Hardy. He earns Bushwacker status by entering the match and going to the top rope only to be shoved out by Kane. However, HHH comes up behind Kane and throws him out as well. Now HHH hits everyone left in the ring with a spinebuster. HHH attempts to Pedigree Rhodes, but McIntyre clips him from behind. Shawn Michaels is the #18 entrant and he enters the match on a mission. He desperately wants to fight The Undertaker at Wrestlemania and can do so by winning this match. He makes an immediate impact by backdropping Carlito out of the ring. He then pitches out both Rhodes and Dibiase. He avoids a Morrison kick and throws him out as well. Michaels and HHH team up and eliminate McIntyre. We’re down to HHH and Michaels, but before they can fight, John Cena enters at #19. He goes after both members of DX. He hits the five knuckle shuffle on both of them, which draws boos from the crowd. Cena tries to eliminate Michaels, but HHH makes the save. HHH hits the Pedigree on Cena. When he stands up Michaels hits him with Sweet Chin Music, which knocks him out of the ring. Big shocker there! There truly are no friends in this match. As we still recover from seeing that, Shelton Benjamin comes out at #20. Why do I have the feeling he’s once again going to be a victim of Michaels. Benjamin actually manages to hit Michaels with a few moves. However, when he goes for his finisher on Cena, it’s Cena who actually dumps him out of the ring. I guess Michaels got bored eliminating him year after year.

#21 is Yoshi Tatsu and somehow I don’t think he’s going to be able to hold his own against Cena and Michaels. He gets some token offense in, but soon Cena clotheslines him out of the ring. We’re back to Cena and Michaels. The Big Show is the #22 entrant and he’ll likely have better success than Tatsu. Show grabs Michaels and puts him on the apron, but Michaels begins to pull Show out with him. Neither is eliminated. Cena attempts to throw Michaels out, but he skins the cat to come back in. Hey Kool Aid! Oh nevermind, it’s just Mark Henry out at #23. He gets in Show’s face and they begin to slug it out. After Cena joins the attack, Henry is able to slam the Big Show. Cena gets Henry up for the FU, but his weight causes Cena to buckle. #24 is Chris Masters and nobody cares. Why couldn’t he have been quick fodder for Punk earlier in the match? Masters whips Michaels, who does his flip flop and fly sell. However, Show quickly grabs him and throws him out. As Henry tries to eliminate the Big Show, R-Truth runs out at #25. He comes up behind both Show and Henry and dumps them both to the floor. What did he do to deserve that push?? Now he manages to hit a scissors kick on Cena. It’s the All-American America Jack Swagger out at #26. He goes after everyone in the ring. Swagger clotheslines Michaels out, but once again Shawn finds a way to hang on. #27 is Kofi Kingston and he enters by hitting a high crossbody on Swagger. As Swagger tries to eliminate Kingston, Kofi reverses it into a ‘rana that sends Swagger to the floor instead. Kingston hits a 10-punch count on R-Truth. Truth then dumps Kingston to the apron. Kingston, however, uses a legscissors to pull Truth out of the ring and send him to the floor. Chris Jericho comes out at #28 and goes after Cena. Good. Cena recovers and hits him with the FU. Michaels then hits Jericho with the flying elbow. Michaels tunes up the band, but Kingston hits him with Trouble in Paradise instead. Cena then grabs Kingston and pitches him out of the ring. Cena turns around and Jericho hits him with the Codebreaker. And in a big surprise, it’s Edge at #29. He has been out with an injury since last May. He immediately attacks Jericho, who’s badmouthed him since he’s been gone. Edge hits spears on Jericho, Michaels and Cena. Edge then throws out Jericho. #30 is Batista, who automatically becomes part of the Final Four along with Edge, Michaels, and Cena. Man, I could easily see any one of these guys winning it. Batista comes in and takes down everyone. Batista foolishly takes time to taunt, which allows Edge to spear him. Now it’s Michaels who begins to get his second wind. He hits flying elbows on both Cena and Batista. He then hits Sweet Chin Music on both of them. Edge clotheslines Michaels and they both fall over the top rope and onto the apron. Michaels kicks Edge back into the ring, but then Batista knocks Michaels off the apron to eliminate him. Michaels is absolutely heartbroken, no pun intended. He begins to flip out knowing he lost his chance to face The Undertaker. He throws a referee down and then superkicks another one before leaving despondent. Meanwhile things continue in the ring as Batista attempts the Batista Bomb on Cena. Cena blocks it and backdrops him. Batista charges at Cena, who pulls the top rope down causing Batista to fall out. Edge goes for a spear on Cena, but he avoids it. However, when he makes a charge, Edge sidesteps him and pitches him out for the victory.

Bottom Line: This was almost the opposite of last year’s Rumble as they kept things very streamlined. There were hardly any slow spots or periods with too many guys in there. You also had a lot of fun or entertaining moments like Punk’s sermonizing, Michaels coming up short in his quest to win and Edge’s surprise return. However, there were also a number of small aspects that could have made this match even better. I felt like there were some missed opportunities to set up the eventual Wrestlemania matches better. Since Batista would face Cena, I would have liked for Batista to be more instrumental in causing Cena to be eliminated. I also would have liked more interaction between Edge and Jericho for the same reason. Still these are minor quibbles in an otherwise strong Rumble. **** ¼

Royal Rumble Rewind: 2009

While the winner of the '08 Rumble had been a huge surprise that no one saw coming, one year later the winner of the Rumble was painfully obvious. Lacking that surprise really puts a damper on this match as it heads towards its inevitable conclusion.

2009 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, MI

The man who holds the longevity record, Rey Mysterio, gets a chance to best his own time as he’s this year’s #1 entrant. Let’s hope this year he doesn’t spend the entire match lying on the ground. He’ll begin by squaring off against #2 John Morrison. Rey goes for a bulldog, but Morrison blocks it and nearly throws Mysterio out in the process. Mysterio reenters and tosses Morrison over. He dangles from the top rope, but does not hit the ground. # 3 is Carlito and he goes after both guys. Carlito gets tossed onto the apron, but he hangs on. He comes back in with a springboard moonsault on Morrison. Some impressive near eliminations thus far. MVP is out at #4 and gets a nice chant from the crowd despite being in the midst of a losing streak at this time. He attempts the Ballin’ elbow on Morrison, but Mysterio blocks it. MVP hits Mysterio with a suplex and then completes the elbow drop. The string of athletic competitors comes to a halt as The Great Khali comes out at #5. Everybody goes after him, but he knocks everyone down. Khali is the only guy standing, but nobody has been eliminated yet. Our world tour continues with the big Russia, Vladimir Koslov out at #6. He goes after Khali and manages to single-handledly eliminate him with a clothesline. MVP attempts to hit Koslov with a running kick, but he avoids it. Koslov then dumps MVP out. Carlito tries his luck, but Koslov catches him with a spinebuster. He throws him out shortly thereafter. Before he can do anymore damage, Triple H enters at #7. The two of them tangle and after Koslov gets hit with a facebuster, HHH is able to throw him out of the ring. #8 is Randy Orton who enters the match surrounded in controversy after punting Vince McMahon in the head the past week on RAW. He comes in and goes right after HHH. Orton attempts the RKO, but HHH blocks it. As he tries for the Pedigree, Morrison comes over and hits him with a kick. Then Mysterio nails Orton with a plancha. He follows that up with a 619 on Morrison. Both members of Cryme Time come out at #9 and they flip a coin to decide who will actually get to enter. JTG wins the flip and Shad learns after the fact that it was a two-headed coin. Cute. Meanwhile no one is close to being eliminated at the moment. #10 is Ted Dibiase (Jr.) who was part of Orton’s Legacy group at the time. Dibiase throws both JTG and Morrison over the top rope, but both hang on. As they hang on the top rope, they both begin to kick and fight each other, however neither is successful in knocking the other guy down. Meanwhile, Mysterio sends Dibiase over the top rope and nearly eliminates him. Credit to everyone thus far for some daredevil moves to avoid elimination.

Things just got a whole lot more interesting with Mr. Serious Chris Jericho out at #11. He goes after HHH which is a strategy I wouldn’t recommend if you want to stay in the match. Jericho blocks a Pedigree attempt and then tries to put on the Walls of Jericho, but HHH powers out of that. HHH throws Jericho over and he has a near elimination of his own. #12 is Mike Knox who immediately goes after Mysterio. While most guys are fighting, Orton and Dibiase gather in a corner to strategize. Morrison’s tag partner, The Miz enters at #13. He manages to get a shot in on everyone. Orton hits RKOs on Morrison, Miz, and JTG. His onslaught is stopped by HHH, who hits him with a Pedigree. HHH grabs Morrison and whips him into the Miz, causing both guys to fall over the top rope and to the ground. Mysterio gets thrown out, but he walks on the backs of Morrison and Miz to avoid touching the ground and reenter the ring. Man, another innovative spot. Finlay is the #14 entrant and fights everyone that comes near him. He comes close to eliminating Dibiase, but Orton makes the save. And now Orton’s group gets stronger as the other Legacy member, Cody Rhodes enters at #15. The three of them gang up and attack the rest of the entrants in the ring. Mysterio tries a springboard move on Orton, but Orton catches him with an RKO. Man, if Mysterio had been this active and innovative in ’06, I would not have minded him getting the longevity record. #16 is GONG!, The Undertaker. Everybody backs up bracing for him to enter the ring. He strikes everyone in sight and then throws out JTG. He hits Rhodes with Snake Eyes and a big boot. Speaking of Rhodes, his older brother, Dustin, aka Goldust comes out at #17. The two brothers have a staredown before Goldust knocks him down with a right hand. He backdrops Cody over the top rope, but he manages to hang on. Orton helps his friend by giving Goldust an RKO. He then orders Rhodes to throw out Goldust, which he does. #18 is C.M. Punk and he everyone with kicks and knees. HHH attempts to hit him with a Pedigree, but Punk escapes and connects with the GTS on him. Wow! Punk should savor that moment. Mark Henry is the #19 entrant. Way too many guys in there right now with no one close to being eliminated. Shelton Benjamin is out at #20 and he must be thrilled that Shawn Michaels is not entered into this year’s Rumble match. Punk and Jericho precariously fight with each other on the top rope. Benjamin hops up there with both of them and takes both guys down to the mat. HHH tosses Punk, but he manages to hang on.

William Regal is out at #21 and I don’t see him being the guy that will help thin the herd. He goes after Punk, who just recently beat him for the Intercontinental title. A big boot by the Undertaker eliminates Mark Henry off camera. #22 is Kofi Kingston and hits everyone in sight. Although with as many guys in the right as there are right now, he barely has to move and he can hit someone. Taker catches a flying Benjamin and slams him to the mat. He then casually dumps him out of the ring. Meanwhile Mysterio has wrapped himself upside down around the ring post in order to avoid elimination. Kane is the #23 entrant and hopefully he can do some house cleaning. Kane and Taker have a face off and decide they’ll team up this year. They chokeslam Dibiase together. Meanwhile Punk manages to pull Regal over the top rope and send him to the floor. What’s up? Well R-Truth is out at #24. That’s what’s up. A numbers of guys team up to get rid of Kane, but they are unsuccessful. In a surprise return, Rob Van Dam enters at #25. He jumps in and hits Kane with a kick. A big RVD chant breaks out. As he hits Rolling Thunder on HHH and R-Truth, THE Brian Kendrick enters at #26. As Kingston does a 10 punch count on Knox, Kendrick runs up and shoves Kingston out of the ring. HHH then grabs Kendrick and immediately pitches him out of the ring. That may be the fastest elimination for someone who also manages to eliminate someone else. RVD throws Punk over the top rope, and he has another close elimination. #27 is Dolph Ziggler who sprints to the ring. He introduces himself to Kane, who takes his hand and immediately throws him out of the ring. #28 is Santino Marella. Upon entering the ring, he is immediately and I do mean immediately clotheslined right back out by Kane. That just broke the Warlord’s 2 second record. Crowd is legitimately bummed about that quick exit thought. Thus far the high numbers have not been very lucky. It’s another surprise at #29 as the very first Rumble winner, Hacksaw Jim Duggan comes out at #29. Crowd starts a USA chant. He should have been the guy to get the one second elimination. Finally at #30 is the Big Show and we can only hope he finally clears the ring of the midcarders.

He opts to square off against Taker instead. But before they can go at, Kane hits Show with an uppercut. Duggan comes over and tries to slam Show, but you can imagine how that goes. Show quickly dumps Duggan after that foolish attempt. Jericho hops on Show’s back and applies a sleeper. Show breaks out of it with a sideslam. Show grabs R-Truth and press slams him out of the ring. Show throws Punk out three times, but each time he manages to hang on. However, on the third save, Show walks over and punches him to send him to the floor. Meanwhile Mysterio and Knox have been eliminated, but the camera failed to capture how it happened. Hornswoggle comes in for some reason and goes after Kane. Kane easily swats him away and then eliminates Finlay. Not sure what the point of that was. Replays show that Big Show had eliminated Knox and Mysterio as they were fighting each other. Orton grabs HHH and hits him with a DDT from the second rope. Show and Taker now go at it slugging each other. RVD hits the five star frog splash on Orton, but as he gets up, Jericho throws him out of the ring. As Jericho smiles at his work, he turns around and gets attacked by Taker. Jericho manages to hit Taker with the codebreaker, but when he attempts a clothesline, Taker sidesteps him and dumps him out of the ring. As Kane attacks Orton, Dibiase and Rhodes run up behind him and throw him out. Legacy now work together on Taker while Show goes after HHH. Taker fights back and manages to deliver a chokeslam to all three of them. Taker boots Show, but he too manages to hang on. Taker tries to knock Show off the apron, but Orton comes over and attempts an RKO. Taker blocks that effort, but when he goes back over to Show, he gets pulled over the top rope. As they fight on the apron, Orton comes over and jawjacks Show to knock him to the floor. Taker continues to fight Legacy from the apron when Show yanks him to the floor. Taker and Show continue their brawl on the floor. Meanwhile, we’re down to the Final Four consisting of HHH and all three Legacy members. I don’t like those odds. The three of them triple-team HHH with Orton barking out orders. Orton goes for an RKO, but HHH shoves him off. As HHH attempts to Pedigree Rhodes, Orton comes over. HHH manages to backdrop Orton, but he hangs onto the apron. HHH completes the Pedigree on Rhodes and then throws out Dibiase. HHH grabs Rhodes and throws him out as well. However as he does that, Orton comes back in and comes up behind HHH to dump him out and win the match. Legacy then celebrate together in the ring to zero response from the crowd.

Bottom Line: Man, that was a rather uninspired finish to the match. I don’t care for Orton winning at all, but they at least could have done something more creative. Having Legacy team up killed the whole ‘every man for himself’ mantra associated with the match. The lack of response by the crowd proves they didn’t do a good job in either choosing a winner or effectively closing the match. As for the rest of the Rumble, I did like the number of creative near eliminations that several guys exhibited. That was a lot of fun. However, they needed more eliminations spread out throughout the match. Too many guys were still in there at the end and no one had the ability to do much other than punch and kick before the mass exodus in the closing minutes. This one is a definite drop in quality over last year’s. *** ¼

Royal Rumble Rewind: 2008

Madison Square Garden was once again the setting for the Rumble in 2008 and as usual, the New York crowd was as boisterous as ever. Thankfully the WWE gave them plenty to respond as a result of several surprises sprinkled throughout the match including a major one at the very end.

2008 Royal Rumble

Emanating from Madison Square Garden in New York City, NY

In the ‘why haven’t they thought about doing this sooner’ category, Mr. ‘Let’s Get Ready to Rumble’, Michael Buffer does the ring announcements to open the match. Things get off to a very interesting start as our first two entrants this year, are the same as last year’s final two entrants – The Undertaker and Shawn Michaels. Michaels attempts to use his speed to his advantage, but Taker quickly overtakes him with his power. Taker goes for a running boot, but Michaels avoids it. #3 is Santino Marella and I don’t like his chances. He tries to prove he can hang with the two future hall of famers, but Michaels quickly superkicks him. Taker then dumps his limp body out. Michaels tries to come up behind Taker and dump him as well, but Taker hangs on. Taker goes for Old School, but Michaels pulls him down. As Michaels hits a flying forearm, The Great Khali enters at #4. Taker chokeslams Michaels and then goes right for Khali. As Khali kicks away at Taker, the crowd begins a ‘You can’t wrestle’ chant. Gotta love the NY fans. Khali goes for his chop, but Taker ducks it and throws him out. Taker and Michaels resume their battle as Hardcore Holly comes out at #5. Taker shifts his focus to Holly and goes after his arm. Taker grabs Michaels and attempts to throw him out again, but Holly breaks up that attempt. #6 is John Morrison and he goes after everyone. Michaels throws Morrison over the top rope, but he manages to hang on. After hitting a flying elbow, Michaels goes for Sweet Chin Music, but Morrison blocks it and delivers a kick of his own. New York’s own Tommy Dreamer enters at #7. He comes in as a house of fire, punching everyone in sight. A ‘Tommy Dreamer’ chant breaks out. This is apparently going to be a front loaded Rumble as #8 is Batista. He takes down everyone and then has a staredown with the Undertaker, who he fought at Wrestlemania last year. Before they can go at it, Dreamer interrupts. Batista pitches him out for that. Crowd doesn’t like that. #9 is nobody…oh wait nevermind, I just had to look closer because it’s Hornswoggle. He sizes up the humanity that’s currently in the ring and decides to immediately hide underneath the ring instead of try to compete. The action resumes in the ring with Batista spearing Taker. Holly clotheslines Michaels over the top rope, but he hangs on. Chuck Palumbo is out at #10 as the world asks ‘Why?’. The pairs squaring off right now include Taker/Palumbo, Michaels/Morrison, and Holly/Batista.

The #11 entrant is Jamie Noble, who was feuding with Palumbo at the time. He naturally goes right after him. Palumbo gets Noble over the top rope and boots him to the floor with relative ease. Michaels throws Morrison over, but he again does an impressive job of holding on. #12 is Punk who delivers running knee strikes to everyone until he gets dropped by a Taker clothesline. Palumbo gets Punk up on his shoulders, but Punk escapes and throws Palumbo over. He hangs on, but a running knee by Punk is enough to knock him to the floor. Michaels and Punk go at it as Cody Rhodes comes out at #13. Rhodes was a ‘wet behind the ears’ rookie at this point, but that doesn’t stop him from deciding to go after Taker. We might get some ring clearing now as Umaga is out at #14. He hits Holly with the Samoan Spike, which sends him out to the floor. He now begins to hammer down Batista. #15 is Snitsky and he attacks both Rhodes and Morrison. Rhodes hops on Snitsky’s back and nearly falls out of the ring in the process. Punk attempts to hit Morrison with the GTS when Morrison’s partner, The Miz, comes out at #16. Taker is trying his darndest to get Umaga out, but the big man won’t go. #17 is Shelton Benjamin, who immediately hops onto the top rope and delivers a double noggin knocker to Morrison and the Miz. Both men manage to stay on the apron, however. He knocks down Punk only to be hit with a superkick by Michaels that eliminates him from the match. Once again Michaels is Benjamin’s Achilles heel. A big surprise at #18 as it’s the Superfly, Jimmy Snuka. He comes in and takes it to everyone who comes after him. Then it’s our second surprise in a row as Rowdy Roddy Piper is out at #19. He quickly locks eyes with Snuka and they renew their decades old rivalry. Everyone else in the ring stop to watch these two go at. #20 is Kane who brings us back to reality by immediately eliminating both Snuka and Piper. Taker looks to chokeslam Kane, but changes course midstream and delivers it to Michaels instead.

Carlito is out at #21 and spits some apple in Rhodes’ face. Another NY native, Mick Foley in the #22 entrant. He attacks everyone as Taker powerbombs Batista. We really could use to thin the herd out at this point. #23 is Mr. Kennedy and he opts to go after Rhodes. He then hits his finisher on both the Miz and Punk. He jaws at the Undertaker, which earns him a chokeslam. Taker starts to catch a second wind knocking down everyone in his sight. As Big Daddy V comes out at #24, Taker grabs Snitsky by the throat and shoves him out of the ring. Taker turns around only to be superkicked out of the match by Michaels. Taker is stunned by that. Michaels has no time to gloat because Kennedy comes up behind him and throws him out. When I wanted some eliminations, I did not have those two in mind. Frustrated, Taker legdrops Snitsky on the announce table. Kennedy throws Rhodes over the top rope, but he hangs on. As he tries to skin the cat, he also tries pulling Kennedy out. Both manage to hang on though. Nice spot. More beef fills up the ring as the #25 entrant is Mark Henry. Hornswoggle emerges from under the ring long enough to pull The Miz, who was teetering on elimination out of the ring. If he keeps doing that, he’ll break Kane’s elimination record with ease. #26 is Chavo Guerrero, who was the ECW Champion at the time, which goes to show you how little they thought of that title if he’s competing in this match. He and Punk, who were feuding at the time go right at each other. After several close calls, Kane finally eliminates Morrison with a boot. Hornswoggle tries his elimination technique again, but foolishly tries it on Mark Henry, who pulls him into the ring instead. Both Henry and Big Daddy V surround Hornswoggle, but before they can do anything, Finlay runs out and attacks both of them with the shillelagh. Finlay then grabs Hornswoggle and takes him to the back thus eliminating both of them despite neither going over the top rope. A major disappointment there. Elijah Burke is the #28 entrant and I frankly had forgotten that he was still in the company at this point. Punk and Guerrero to go at it and Chavo manages to pull Punk over the top rope from the apron and throw him to the floor. A disappointing finish for Punk, but he’s certainly in a better place today. Getting a very good draw is Triple H out at #29. He makes an immediate impact by throwing out Rhodes and Big Daddy V. Now he and Foley go at it, which makes us nostalgic for their classic Rumble match at MSG back in 2000. He whips Foley into Burke and both of them fall over the top rope and to the floor. Umaga misses a charge, which allows HHH to hit him with a Pedigree. #30 is…I don’t believe it…it can’t be..it is..John Cena. This was a MAJOR shock at the time. Cena was out at the time with an injury and still wasn’t due back for several months. The NYC crowd pops huge for this surprise while HHH looks on in disbelief. Cena comes in and takes it to Henry. Cena then pitches out Carlito and Guerrero. Henry gets dumped out by him also shortly thereafter. Cena and HHH have a big staredown and then slug it out. HHH hits a spinebuster on Cena but then gets knocked down by an Umaga uppercut. As Umaga goes for the Spike, Batista spears him. Batista then throws out Kennedy. Batista then clotheslines Umaga out of the ring.

Our final four is Kane, HHH, Batista and Cena. It’s a strong foursome, but it doesn’t last long as HHH and Batista team up to hurl Kane out of the ring. The three guys left stare at each other as the crowd cheers them on. They then do some taunting to fire up the crowd further. There are no alliances here as they all go after each other. Batista manages to connect with spinebusters on both Cena and HHH. Batista goes for a Batista Bomb on Cena, but he blocks it and backdrops him. HHH then clotheslines Batista out to eliminate him. HHH points to the Wrestlemania sign and says that’s what it’s all about while Cena reminds HHH that he made him tap out at a previous Wrestlemania. Now they go back to fighting as they slug it out. Crowd now seems to be behind HHH as they boo Cena’s punches and cheers HHH’s. Cena connects with the five knuckle shuffle. Cena gets HHH up for the FU, but HHH escapes. HHH attempts the Pedigree, but Cena fights out of that. Both men are down after they clothesline each other. Cena boots a charging HHH, but HHH comes back with a DDT. As HHH tries to put Cena out, he blocks it by grabbing the top rope. HHH goes for the Pedigree again, but Cena escapes and back drops HHH out of the ring to score the victory.

Bottom Line: Cena’s return and subsequent victory were a huge surprise and made for a buzzworthy finish to the match. Prior to that, the match had sufficient star power to keep the match entertaining. While it at times had too many guys in there, one thing they did differently this year was they left the middle of the ring open so that two guys could do some more innovative or high impact moves instead of everyone doing the typical punching and kicking near the ropes. There were some aspects of the match that could have been booked better, but they are minor quibbles. This set up some Wrestlemania feuds and kept the lulls to a minimum which makes this a solid Rumble. ****

Royal Rumble Rewind: 2006

Starting with this one, the rest of these Royal Rumble review will be new content that has not been posted anywhere else. Enjoy!

2006 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the American Airlines Arena in Miami, FL

As if things weren’t bad enough that this Rumble is getting a midcard slot, we kick off this year’s match with a cheer from the Spirit Squad. Even though they’re uber-annoying, the crowd can barely muster the energy to boo them. Not a good sign. They certainly wake up though upon seeing that Triple H is #1. #2 is Rey Mysterio, who comes out to the ring in a low ride. He drapes one of Eddie Guerrero’s shirts on the hood. Mysterio is dedicating the match to Guerrero who had passed away two months prior. Mysterio uses his speed to gain an early advantage on HHH. He delivers a 10-punch count on HHH as the crowd chants ‘Eddie’. HHH avoids a 619 as Simon Dean rolls out on his Segway at #3. Dean puts the boots to Mysterio as HHH looks on. When Dean asks for a high five from HHH, he gets punched instead. Mysterio and HHH team up and dump Dean to the floor together. As Mysterio connects with a Bronco Buster, Psicosis enters at #4. Psicosis takes it to both guys. As he tries to do a Razor’s Edge on Mysterio, Rey reverses it into a hurricanrana and sends Psicosis out of the ring. Whooo, it’s Ric Flair at #5 and he has issues with HHH. He chops and punches away on HHH. It should be noted that as these two go at, Rey is just lying on the mat. Something he’ll be doing a LOT in this match. Flair makes a charge, but HHH backdrops him out of the ring. Before HHH can catch his breath, Big Show is out at #6. He too was at odds with HHH at this time. Show lays some vicious chops in on HHH as Mysterio continues to lie down. Mysterio gets up long enough to receive a headbutt from Show and he’s back down again. Show delivers a series of elbow drops on HHH. Jonathan Coachman, yes announcer Jonathan Coachman comes out at #7. He foolishly tries to attack Big Show. Show turns around and piefaces Coach right out of the ring. Looks like he’s getting the Bushwacker award tonight. Show returns his focus to HHH as Rey continues to lie on the mat. Bobby Lashley is #8 and he has a staredown with Show. Show attempts to chokeslam him, but Lashley escapes and then backdrops him. Lashley whips Mysterio hard to the corner, so he’ll probably be down for another 5 minutes from that. Big Show’s tag partner at that time, Kane is #9. He slugs it out with Lashley in the proverbial ‘irresistible force meeting the immovable object’ battle. Lashley connects with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex to Kane. After press slamming HHH, Lashley hits Kane with the Dominator. The power moves are nice, but the name of the game is eliminating people, something he hasn’t done yet. #10 is Sylvan and he tries to forge a partnership with Lashley. However, he quickly attempts to double-cross him, which doesn’t end well. Lashley quickly grabs him and heaves him out of the ring. Big Show and Kane are both back up now. They give Lashley a tandem chokeslam and then casually eliminate him. The two tag partners actually go at it while Mysterio and HHH are still lying down. Show and Kane try to eliminate each other when HHH comes up and dumps both of them out of the ring.

#11 is Carlito. He puts the boots to both Mysterio and HHH. Carlito hits Mysterio with the backstabber. That should give Mysterio another reason to take a breaker. Chris Benoit comes out at #12 and delivers chops and suplexes to everyone in the ring. Finally, an infusion of energy into this match. Benoit puts Carlito into the Crossface until HHH breaks it up. Benoit tries to suplex HHH out of the ring, but HHH blocks it and crotches him on the top rope. Benoit knocks HHH down and then connects with the flying headbutt. You better dig it sucka because #13 is Booker T. He goes right after Benoit, who he’s been feuding with recently. Benoit blocks Booker’s elimination attempt and quickly hiptosses him out of the ring. Man Booker gave Coach a run for his money there. Although to be fair, Booker was dealing with a groin injury that probably prevented him from being able to fully compete in this match. Benoit goes back to squaring off against HHH while Carlito has to pick up Mysterio in order to get him to do something. One half of MNM, Joey Mercury, is #14. He attacks everyone until Benoit catches him with a German suplex. The pairs are now Benoit/HHH and Mercury/Carlito leaving Rey to…you guess it…lie on the mat. #15 is Tatanka as a surprise entrant. If that’s the best they can do for a surprise return, things don’t look good for this match. His appearance prompts the Miami crowd to begin the ‘Tomahawk Chop’ chant. Lots of punching and kicking right now with no one near elimination. Mercury’s tag partner, Johnny Nitro is #16. Benoit gets HHH over the top rope, but he manages to hang on. Lawler suggests that Eddie divinely gave Mysterio the #2 entry so he could watch him for a long time. If Eddie has nothing better to do than watch Mysterio laze around for an hour then the afterlife must be extremely boring. #17 is Trevor Murdoch. HHH grabs Mysterio and throws him over, but Mysterio hangs on. He comes back into the ring and immediately clutches the bottom rope. Apparently HHH can’t take the hint that Mysterio has no interest in being active tonight. Another surprise entrant is the returning Eugene at #18. Murdoch punches him, but Eugene no sells it. Eugene gives him an airplane spin that makes both of them dizzy. #19 is Animal from LOD and I’m surprised he can still find shoulderpads that fit over his stomach. We’ve got way too many guys in there right now and most of them are complete losers. #20 marks the big return of Rob Van Dam, who had been out for nearly a year with a knee injury. He delivers kicks to everyone who comes within distance of him. Animal charges at him, but he backdrops him out of the ring to clear some deadweight.

Orlando Jordan is #21, but frankly I think I would have preferred the other OJ. At least he knows how to eliminate people. What? Too soon? RVD heaves Carlito over the top rope, but he manages to hang on. Now the guy who should have been dedicating this match to Eddie, his cousin Chavo comes out at #22. He goes after Mysterio, no doubt miffed at him stealing his rightful dedication. He now delivers Eddie’s Three Amigos to Joey Mercury. Chavo goes up top to deliver a frog splash, but HHH shoves him to the floor before he can deliver the move. So apparently Eddie had no interest in offering his actual family any divine intervention in this match. There’s still way too many guys in there. Matt Hardy enters at #23 as we still wait for a top guy to come out and do some house cleaning. MNM team up and hit Tatanka with the Snapshot. That’s enough to eliminate him. He’s Super…he’s crazy…he’s Super Crazy and he’s also #24. More punching and kicking and a whole lot of nothingness. Oh thank heavens it’s Shawn Michaels at #25. He attacks everyone in sight. Then he gets productive by dumping Murdoch out of the ring. I was hoping for more than just that though. That loud sigh of indifference you hear is the indication that Chris Masters is out at #26. Matt Hardy and HHH come close to eliminating each other, but both manage to hang on. Shawn Michaels uses a headscissors to try and eliminate Mercury, but his partner grabs him to prevent him from going out. The world’s largest love machine, Viscera is our #27 entrant. He grabs Matt Hardy and gives him the Walrus. And if you don’t know what that is, consider yourself lucky. I’m sure Matt created a whiny YouTube video complaining about being treated like that. Hardy tries to give Viscera the Twist of Fate, but Vis picks him up and throws him out of the ring. Led to the ring by his momma, Shelton Benjamin comes out at #28. Meanwhile Benoit manages to unceremoniously eliminate Eugene. It’s yet another surprise entrant as #29 is Goldust. Still more punching and kicking. And if you’re wondering is Rey Mysterio is lying on the mat, well he is. #30 is Randy Orton and I wonder what he did in order to get that number. He runs in and immediately eliminates Benoit. Given how much worthless talent is still in the ring, that seemed unnecessary.

With all entrants out we still have over a third of them still in this match. Carlito and Masters team up to eliminate Viscera. As Masters celebrates, Carlito takes the opportunity to throw him out of the ring as well. Let it be known that nobody will ever confuse Chris Masters for an intelligent man. Goldust grabs Carlito and is able to hit him with Shattered Dreams. However, he then gets blindsided by an RVD kick, which knocks him out of the ring. Meanwhile Orton gets Jordan over the top rope and knocks him off the apron to eliminate him. Shawn Michaels hits HHH with the flying forearm. Before he can get rolling, MNM attack him from behind. They attempt to give him the Snapshot, but he escapes. He then manages to eliminate both of them single-handedly. Michaels turns around only to be hit with a kick by Benjamin. Michaels recovers and gets him over the top rope. Benjamin hangs on, but Michaels hits him with Sweet Chin Music to officially eliminate him. Shawn is cleaning house! But before he can do any more damage, ‘No Chance in Hell’ plays and out comes Vince McMahon. From the outside he starts jawing at Michaels. As Michaels yells back, Shane McMahon runs out of nowhere and throws him out of the ring. Michaels realizes this and chases after him. Before he can do that, HHH cuts him off. Michaels escapes a Pedigree attempt and then runs to the back to go after Shane. That was majorly disappointing. Back to the ring when an RVD spin kick sends Carlito out of the ring. We’re now down to our Final Four consisting of RVD, Randy Orton, but our #1 and #2 entrants, HHH and Rey Mysterio. Mysterio calls over RVD, no doubt asking if he can do all the work for him. They team up to work over HHH and Orton. RVD goes up top for a frog splash, but HHH crotches him. HHH then catapults Mysterio into RVD, causing him to fall down to the floor and be eliminated. Now Orton and HHH, former Evolution teammates work together against Mysterio. Mysterio is able to divide and conquer though. He drops both of them to the second rope and hits a tandem 619. Orton goes for an RKO on HHH, but he blocks it and hits him with a spinebuster instead. HHH attempts to give Mysterio a spinebuster, but he reverses it into a ‘rana that sends HHH up and over. HHH is stunned. We’re down to Orton and Mysterio. HHH pulls Mysterio out of the ring and sends him into the steps. He then puts him back in the ring to leave him for Orton. Orton picks up Mysterio who is deadweight. As he tries to eliminate him, Mysterio once again reverses it into a ‘rana which sends Orton out of the ring and gives Rey the win.

Bottom Line: This is by far my least favorite Rumble. On the action alone, this would have been already near the bottom. There were very few memorable spots and the roster was one of the weakest of the decade. But what makes this one stand out among other lackluster Rumbles is Rey Mysterio’s ‘performance’. There are so many grating things about it. While he had always been a top star, he got a huge push merely because his friend Eddie passed away. These nauseating levels at which the announcers tried to sell Rey’s success as divine intervention was aptly dubbed ‘Eddiesploitation’ around the Internet. It’s also annoying that Rey’s victory broke the longevity record as he lasted over 62 minutes. When Flair went an hour in ’92, he delivered offensive moves from bell to bell. And yet Mysterio goes into the record book for basically lying on the mat for an hour. I don’t mean to sound bitter, but this one leaves a bad taste in my mouth. *

Royal Rumble Rewind: 2002

In 2002, the WWF was going through some big transitions as they tried to find ways to integrate the former WCW guys into their roster. But on this night, they made sure that one of their own, the returning Triple H was front and center.

2002 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the Phillips Arena in Atlanta, GA

Rikishi is #1 and Goldust is #2. That is perhaps the oddest pairing to start off the Rumble. By the way, Goldust is one of four superstars making their big return tonight in this match. The two trade rights to begin. Rikishi hurls Goldust over, but he hangs on. Upon re-entry, Goldust goes low on him. Rikishi dumps Goldust again, but again he hangs on. #3 enters and it’s the Big Boss Man. Goldust and the Bossman try to team up, but Rikishi fends them both off. Nothing much happens when Bradshaw comes out at #4. He comes in and manhandles everyone. Rikishi knocks down the Bossman and gives him the Stinkface. Rikishi kicks the Bossman and then clotheslines him out of the ring. Lance Storm comes out at #5 and he goes after Goldust. Rikishi tries to eliminate Bradshaw, while Storm tries to get rid of Goldust. #6 is Al Snow and he attacks everything in sight. Bradshaw blasts Storm with the Clothesline from Hell, but can’t get rid of him. We’ve yet to get a major name in this Rumble as #7 is Billy Gunn. Some of my least favorite stars are in the ring right now. Gunn comes in and gets jumped by Bradshaw. Storm and Snow get each other onto the apron. Snow blocks a kick by Storm and then delivers a kick of his own to eliminate him. Bradshaw gets Goldust onto the apron, but as he tries to kick him to the floor, Gunn comes from behind and dumps him out of the ring. Suddenly things perk up because here’s the Undertaker at #8. Taker comes in and destroys everybody. Out goes Goldust, out goes Snow, out goes Rikishi and finally out goes Gunn. Taker is standing tall and standing alone. Matt Hardy has the unfortunate luck of being #9. The Hardyz have history with Taker, as he recently put both of them and Lita on the shelf. Taker quickly tries to chokeslam Matt when Lita comes in and tries to help. Taker grabs her too, but she kicks him low. Now Matt and Lita put the boots to Taker. As Taker tries to suplex Matt out of the ring, he gets saved by his brother Jeff, who’s out at #10. The Hardyz now begin to double-team Taker. They go for Poetry in Motion, but Taker catches Jeff and dumps him to the floor. Taker then gives Matt the Last Ride and eliminates him.

The sorry sap at #11 is Tough Enough winner, Maven. Taker begins to attack Maven, but the Hardyz come in and jump him again. Taker disposes of them again, but as he talks trash, Maven dropkicks him from behind and knocks him out of the ring. A huge crowd pop for that shocker. Taker comes back in the ring and begins to attack Maven. Taker takes him out of the ring and blasts him with a chair. As the beatdown continues, Scotty 2 Hotty strolls out at #12. Taker knocks down Scotty and then goes back to Maven. Taker takes Maven into the crowd and continues the assault. As Christian comes out at #13, Taker attacks Maven by the concession stand by throwing him through the glass of a popcorn cart. Neither Maven, nor Scotty have been eliminated, but since Christian is the only one in the ring, he takes a rest on the ropes. Scotty finally makes it in and dukes it out with Christian. Meanwhile, Maven for all intents and purposes has been eliminated. As they fight, DDP enters at #14. DDP hits Christian with the Diamond Cutter, but then Scotty kicks him and he falls through the ropes. Scotty then bulldogs Christian and gives him the Worm. However, DDP comes in and throws him out of the ring. The #15 entrant is Chuck Palumbo, who gets into a slugfest with DDP. We get more nothingness when the Godfather returns at #16. The Godfather brings out an entire row of hos and dances with them. While that happens, Christian and Palumbo team up to eliminate DDP off-screen. The Godfather’s antics last the whole two minutes and it’s already time for Albert to come out at #17. He comes in and manhandles everyone. As Albert tries to get rid of the Godfather, Christian and Palumbo come from behind and throw him to the floor. The Godfather attempts the Ho Train on both Christian and Palumbo. However, they both avoid it and then clothesline him out of the ring. Christian and Palumbo start to go at it when Perry Saturn arrives at #18. The three blandly fight for two minutes. The boredom ends when Austin enters at #19. Not surprisingly, he eliminates all three in quick fashion. Realizing he has time to kill, he brings Christian and Palumbo back in and eliminates them again. Austin checks his watch again and waits until another returning star, Val Venis comes out at #20. Austin brings Val in and quickly stomps a mudhole in him. Val starts to mount an offensive, but Austin comes back with the Lou Thesz Press.

Now the #21 entrant, Test makes his way to the ring. Test and Val team up to attack Austin. Heel miscommunication leads to Test giving Val the big boot. Austin is then able to clothesline Val out of the ring. Test goes for the boot on Austin, but misses. Austin then gives him a Stunner and eliminates him. As Austin waits, he gets some competition at #22 in the form of HHH, who’s recently back from quad surgery. The two do a long staredown before going at it. Just as they start going at it, the Hurricane arrives at #23. When he enters, both men are down. He tries to chokeslam both men, but they just look at him and then throw him out of the ring. Austin and HHH go at it again, when we get our #24 entrant, Farooq. Farooq tries to divide and conquer, but soon he suffers a Stunner and then gets clotheslined out by HHH. Austin and HHH continue to go at it when the best of the returning stars, Mr. Perfect joins us at #25. Perfect takes his time to come in, but then jumps Austin when he does. As Austin and HHH try to get Perfect out, he’s able to spit out his gum and swat it away. Truly awesome! Making his first Rumble appearance, here’s Kurt Angle at #26. We’ve paired off now with Angle taking on HHH and Austin squaring off against Perfect. The crowd starts a “You Suck”, “What?” chant. Nice! Angle gets close to eliminating HHH when Austin makes the save. Big Show arrives at #27 and he destroys everybody. Show’s in complete control, but he hasn’t eliminated anyone. Now Kane comes out at #28. He and Show duke it out, but nobody moves. Kane lowblows Show and then slams him over the top rope to get rid of him. Wow! Kane turns around and receives a Stunner from Austin. Angle then gives him an Angle Slam to the floor. Double wow! We’re back to that foursome duking it out. RVD enters at #29 and with perfect timing. Angle is lying on the mat, so RVD enters by giving him the Five Star Frog Splash. He then kicks down everyone and gives Austin rolling thunder. However, he turns around and receives the Pedigree from HHH. Our final entrant tonight is the five-time WCW champ, Booker T. He comes in and tosses out RVD, who was still out from the Pedigree. Major bummer there. With everyone else preoccupied, Booker decides to do a Spinaroonie. When he pops up though, he gets hit with a Stunner that knocks him over the top rope and to the floor.

We’re left with a Final Four of: Austin, Angle, Perfect and HHH. That’s a pretty awesome quartet. Angle goes for the Angle Slam on Austin, but he escapes and tries for a Stunner. Angle shoves him off and into HHH, who attempts to give him a Pedigree. Austin reverses that and catapults HHH into the turnbuckle. Angle follows that up with an Angle Slam on HHH. Awesome sequence! Now Angle gives Austin three German suplexes. Angle and Perfect try to eliminate Austin, but can’t get it done. Austin hoists Perfect up, but Angle runs up and dumps Austin to the floor. Shocking! Austin pulls Perfect out of the ring and starts to attack him. Angle comes out and throws Austin into the steps. As Angle and Perfect put the boots to HHH, Austin comes in with a chair and blasts both of them. Then he nails HHH. Perfect holds HHH for Angle, but Angle accidentally clotheslines Perfect instead. Perfect and Angle now battle. Perfect hits Angle with the Perfectplex and Perfect neckbreaker. However, HHH gets up and clotheslines him out of the ring. HHH tackles Angle and punches away on him. Angle comes back with a belly-to-belly suplex. HHH charges and Angle backdrops him over the top rope. Angle thinks he’s won, but HHH held on. HHH comes back in, gives Angle a facebuster and then clotheslines him out of the ring to win the 2002 Royal Rumble.

Bottom Line: They certainly back-loaded this Rumble. Aside from Taker’s shocking elimination, nothing interesting happened for the first 2/3rds of this Rumble. Given that they had just gained a bunch of talent from WCW, the roster for this Rumble was weaker than you would have expected. The last part of the Rumble was solid, but not strong enough to make this a great one. The returning stars were nice, but it would have been better had they been actual surprises instead of announced weeks prior to the show. In the end, the HHH win wasn’t terribly shocking, but it was the right move, given he was a top star returning from a lengthy injury. *** ½