RBR: G.I. Joe: Retaliation

When people criticize Hollywood for being out of ideas, one of the first pieces of evidence that gets cited is the abundance of television shows that get turned into feature films when they have no business being on the silver screen. The GI Joe franchise, however, seems like it would translate well to the big screen. You have a colorful cast of characters and a relatable story of good and evil. Given the source material that they have to work with, it is baffling how much Hollywood has mismanaged this franchise and turned in now two disappointing entries. What has been apparent in both 2009's Rise of Cobra and the recent sequel Relatiation is the corporate fingerprints that have put a stranglehold on the direction of these films. Things like putting it in 3D and adding The Rock and Bruce Willis to the cast offer nothing to the actual storytelling and are included merely because some studio executives has the misguided belief that this is what audiences want. In the cartoon, all of the Joes had distinct names and corresponding attributes that made them unique. In this latest film, the only way a character stands out is because of who is playing him. Why is Dwayne Johnson called Roadblock? Beats me. They might as well have just called him The Rock because that's what everyone is thinking while seeing him on the screen. The villians are not much better in terms of being distinct. The handling of Cobra Commander is slightly better here than in the first film, but he has to share time on the screen with several other villains so we can never really appreciate any of them. That brings up another issue with the film in that there is too much going on, yet none of it feels like it matters. Half of the film is spent on the rivalry between Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow and too often I had no idea why I should care or what it had to do with the other plot involving an ambush on the Joes. I will give credit where it is due and say that there are some impressive action scenes sprinkled throughout the film. The ninja fight that takes place on the side of a mountain in particular is very well done. But again, none of it feels like it matters. Never before have I seen an entire major city get destroyed in a film and have it feel as insignificant as it does here. Until this franchise can show a little bit more coherence in its storytelling, I'm going AWOL. Rating: ** 1/2

Worst week ever

So there was a news story about a 70 year old liquor store owner in Syracuse who was shot in the eye. He's managed to recover and is already back to work. The remarkable thing about the story though is that he claims getting shot was not the worst thing that happened to him that week. To find out what was worse, watch the video below and you'll see why I chose to mention this story here on the blog.

YES! YES! YES! YES!

As if The Rock defeating John Cena cleanly at Wrestlemania wasn't amazing enough, this was sheer awesomeness.

Royal Rumble Rewind: 2001

By 2001 the WWF was firing on all cylinders and this show kicked off a three month run of possibly the best shows ever produced in professional wrestling. The roster was an embarassment of riches, each of whom was eager to steal the show every night.

2001 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the New Orleans Arena in New Orleans, LA

Jeff Hardy is #1 and Bull Buchanan is #2. Tag team wrestlers kicking this off? Looks like no one will be going the distance this year. Bull gets Jeff on the apron early, but can’t knock him off. As Jeff tries to survive, he gets some help from his brother Matt at #3. They quickly dispose of Bull and now contemplate fighting each other. The two actually go at it until Farooq comes out at #4. The Hardyz try for Poetry in Motion on him and botch it badly. However, they recover to hit Farooq with the Twist of Fate and swanton bomb. That combo allows them to easily dump him out. The brothers go at it again when lo and behold it’s Drew Carey at #5. Drew was at this event to promote an upcoming pay-per-view special. As Drew slowly gets in the ring, the Hardyz battle on the top rope and end up eliminating each other. Drew stands alone! He is not lonely for long because at #6 through hellfire and brimstone it’s Kane! Kane takes his time getting in the ring and then does his corner pyro. Drew offers him some money, but that won’t help. Kane is about to chokeslam Drew when Raven comes out at #7 and attacks him. Drew takes that opportunity to hop over the top rope and eliminate himself. And that, my friends, is a Hall of Fame performance. After being manhandled by Kane, Raven rolls under the ring. He grabs some weapons, but soon Al Snow jumps the gun and comes out prematurely at #8. He attacks Raven on the floor, but the referees wait for the buzzer before they let him in the ring. Snow attacks Kane and Raven with a trash can lid. Then he splits Raven’s uprights with a bowling ball. As Raven and Snow abuse Kane with trash cans, Saturn comes out at #9. Saturn goes for Kane’s leg and attacks it. All 3 men gang up on Kane to try and take him down. Steve Blackman runs out at #10 and adds to this hardcore section of the Rumble with his karate sticks.

Someone who’s not hardcore, Grandmaster Sexay, is the #11 entrant. Kane grabs a trash can and attacks everybody. His shot to Sexay knocks him over the top rope and to the floor. Kane goes on a rampage and eliminates Blackman, Snow, Raven and Saturn in short order. Just as Kane tosses out Saturn, we get a shocker, as the Honky Tonk Man is #12! Honky gets on the mic and plans to sing us a song. Kane isn’t in the mood to listen, so Kane grabs his gee-tar and blasts him with it. Kane shakes his head in disbelief and then tosses him out. Very funny stuff. Out at #13 is The Rock. Wow, early number for him. The Rock is a house of fire, but can’t eliminate Kane. Their battle is interrupted by #14, the Goodfather. The Rock takes a few seconds to give him a few shots and then gives him a big one to knock him right out. The Goodfather gets the Bushwacker award this year. The mood changes at #15 because here comes Tazz. Kane immediately grabs him by the throat and throws him back over the top rope. Sorry Goodfather, Tazz just took the Bushwacker award away from you. The Rock gets Kane up on the top rope, but can’t get him over. Both men are down after The Rock hits Kane with a Samoan Drop. That’s good news for entrant #16, Bradshaw. Bradshaw takes it to both men, but can’t eliminate either of them. #17 is Albert and he goes right for Kane. We’re paired up now as Albert tries to eliminate Bradshaw and Kane goes after The Rock. Coming out to zero reaction is Hardcore Holly at #18. Bradshaw and Hardcore come very close to eliminating The Rock. Now The Rock almost gets rid of Kane. K-Kwik is #19 and he goes after Albert. We’ve suddenly hit a lull in the match. Kane and Bradshaw hit power moves on Hardcore and K-Kwik respectively. That damn siren blares again as Val Venis comes out at #20. The ring is now filling up quickly.

Here to wave to all his people is our goodwill ambassador, William Regal at #21. Regal attacks anyone and everyone he sees. Our pairings are now Val/Bradshaw, Hardcore/The Rock, Albert/Kane and K-Kwik/Regal. Test is #22 and he makes an immediate impact by tossing out Regal. Back from fat camp is the returning Big Show at #23 and he looks bigger than ever. Show makes himself known by dumping Test and K-Kwik quickly. Then it’s chokeslams for everybody else that’s left. However, when he tries one of The Rock, he goes low. A few punches and a clothesline later and The Rock eliminates Show, just like that. Show clears off the announce table and grabs The Rock. Amid the chaos, Crash Holly comes out at #24. Show now takes The Rock and chokeslams him through the announce table. Meanwhile, everyone left, gangs up on Kane. As they try to eliminate him, here comes #25, The Undertaker. Taker fends off all of them to save Kane. Oh yeah, they like each other again now. Sheesh! Taker gets rid of Bradshaw and Hardcore. Kane, meanwhile, eliminates Crash and Albert. Now Taker throws out Val. Only the Brothers of Destruction remain in the ring, but The Rock is still in the match. Before the brothers can go at it, Scotty 2 Hotty comes out at #26. The two team up and just murder Scotty before mercifully dumping him out of the ring. I love it! The Rock is now slowly starting to get up. The brothers wait for the next entrant and they get their money’s worth because here comes Austin at #27. However, before he can get into the ring, HHH runs out and attacks him. The Rock gets back in the ring and Kane and Taker go after him, while HHH attacks Austin in the aisle. We see Austin’s been bloodied as Billy Gunn races out at #28. Ha! Lots of luck Billy. Kane stomps away on Gunn, while Taker and The Rock go at it. We get yet another surprise as Haku is #29. Where did he come from?!? He comes in and takes it to both Taker and Kane. J.R. and Lawler get into this great, heated debate over the fairness of HHH attacking Austin. To nobody’s surprise, it’s Rikishi at #30. Rikishi sees a bloodied Austin in the aisle and attacks him. Austin fights back and throws him into the ring. Now Austin stops a mudhole in Gunn. Yes! Austin then goes over and knocks Haku out of the ring. Taker chokeslams Rikishi as J.R. tells us that Kane has been in there for 50 minutes. Rikishi nails Taker with a superkick that sends him over the top rope and to the floor. Wow! Now Rikishi splashes The Rock in the corner. Rikishi goes for the Banzai Drop, but The Rock gives him a low blow and then dumps him out.

We have our Final Four and it’s Austin, The Rock, Kane and Billy Gunn. Why is Gunn still in there? Why couldn’t Taker or Rikishi last longer? Gunn blocks a Stunner and gives Austin the Fameasser. Give me a break! Gunn tries to throw him out, but Austin reverses it and sends Gunn to the floor. Good! Get him out of here! Now Austin and The Rock meet face-to-face and go at it. The Rock goes for a Rock Bottom, but Austin escapes and then hits him with a Stunner. Austin now connects with the Lou Thesz Press on Kane. As he gets up, The Rock nails him with the Rock Bottom. The Rock grabs Kane and tosses him, but Kane goes through the middle ropes. As Austin and The Rock try to eliminate each other, Kane comes back in and nails both of them. Austin hangs on, but The Rock falls to the floor. We’re down to two. Austin charges at Kane, but Kane grabs him and delivers a chokeslam. Kane grabs a chair and brings it into the ring. Austin stops him from using it, though. Austin escapes a Tombstone attempt and stunners Kane. Austin grabs the chair and gives Kane three big chairshots. With Kane staggering, Austin is able to clotheslines Kane to the floor. Austin wins it and is going to Wrestlemania!

Bottom Line: This was one hell of a Rumble. There were hardly any slow spots in this match. Between the comedy with Drew, the hardcore segment, and the stacked finish, there was always something to keep the crowd entertained. Not to mention, they provided a number of surprise entrants who were all effective. Unlike some Rumbles, this one had a number of stars at the end who could have won it. Some may criticize Austin winning his third Rumble, but given where they were headed, it was the right call. I also have to give credit to Kane, who delivered one hell of a performance. That was one of the most dominant Rumble performances in the history of the match. All in all, there’s very little to complain about this Rumble. **** ½

Royal Rumble Rewind: 2000

Entering into a new decade and century, the WWF rolled along. Despite Steve Austin being on the shelf at the time, the WWF continued to pump out entertaining shows and this one is no exception, thanks in part to a raccous New York crowd.

2000 Royal Rumble

Emanating from Madison Square Garden in New York City, NY

D’Lo Brown and Grandmaster Sexay have drawn #1 and #2 respectively. A pretty boring opening two if you ask me. Sexay dances, so D’Lo attacks him. Good move. D’Lo goes to powerbomb Sexay, but in a scary looking spot, Sexay reverses it into a hurricanrana. We don’t need another Droz incident, thank you very much. Sexay tosses D’Lo, but he hangs on. Mosh comes out at #3. Soon after, Kaientai, who were snubbed from the Rumble, come out and try to attack the combatants. However, they’re quickly disposed of. Sexay sloppily bulldogs D’Lo, who lands right on Mosh’s leg. Mosh appears to have legitimately hurt his ankle. #4 is Christian, who is greeted by Mosh. Not a whole lot happening thus far. Rikishi is the #5 entrant and he receives a big pop. Rikishi comes in and quickly eliminates Mosh. Then Christian suffers a similar fate. D’Lo gives Rikishi a legdrop, but that is no sold and Rikishi gets up to give him the Rikishi Drop. He easily eliminates him after that. Just as Rikishi starts to go after Sexay, Scotty 2 Hotty comes out at #6. Instead of fighting, the three decide to dance. I find this moronic and stupid, but the crowd eats it up. After busting a move, Rikishi grabs both Sexay and Scotty and tosses both of them out. Well, that almost made up for the dancing. The unfortunate next entrant is Steve Blackman at #7. Blackman gets some brief offense before suffering a Rikishi Drop himself. Just like that, he’s gone too. I think we have our Diesel push right here. The competition gets bigger at #8 with Viscera. The two slug it out and then Viscera drops Rikishi with a belly-to-belly suplex. Rikishi comes back with three stiff kicks and then a shoulderblock to knock him out of the ring. The Bossman comes out at #9 and you just hear this audible groan from the crowd. The Bossman refuses to get into the ring, but Test comes out at #10 and attacks him. He sends him into the ring, where Rikishi beats him up.

#11 is the British Bulldog and he goes after everyone. We’re paired up now as Test and the Bossman duke it out and the Bulldog tries to eliminate Rikishi. At #12 Gangrel comes out, but that doesn’t matter, because right behind him are Kaientai. They try to interfere again, and once again they’re unceremoniously dumped. As Test and Gangrel battle in the corner, Rikishi gives them a butt splash. We see on a double feature that Taka Michinoku took a nasty face first bump when he was tossed out. Edge comes out at #13 and is almost eliminated by the Bulldog within his first 30 seconds in the ring. Then, in a shocker, who shows up at #14? Bob Backlund! Sweet! He gets in and is jumped by the Bossman and the Bulldog. All of a sudden, everyone teams up and dumps Rikishi from the ring. Crowd doesn’t like that one. A big pop for the #15 entrant, Chris Jericho. He makes an immediate impact by dropkicking Backlund out of the ring. Back to the campaign trail for Bob. Here comes one of the Rock’s biggest threats, Crash Holly at #16. The Bulldog and Edge grab Crash and try to eliminate him, but he crawls back in under the bottom rope. Chyna is the #17 entrant and she goes right after Jericho. Jericho backdrops her to the apron, but then she suplexes him out of the ring. As she gloats, the Bossman bumps her off the apron to quickly end her night. As Farooq comes out at #18, the Mean Street Posse, also snubbed from the match, come out and jump him. The Posse are thrown out, but so is Farooq. Not quite sure what’s going on there. #19 is Road Dogg and he goes after Test. The Bossman tosses Crash, but again he crawls back in under the bottom rope. As Al Snow comes in at #20, the Bulldog goes out at the hands of the Road Dogg. Everyone seems to be sluggish right now waiting for the next mass exodus.

Once again an entrance is overshadowed by extra participants. This time, it’s the #21 entrant, Val Venis, who is overshadowed by Funaki, who feebly tries to wreck havoc on the entrants. This gives Jerry Lawler another excuse to show the replay of Taka falling on his face. The #22 entrant is Prince Albert and nobody cares. Meanwhile, Snow and Val backdrop Edge out of the ring. For some reason, Road Dogg has grapevined himself to the bottom rope. Hardcore Holly is #23 and the ring is really starting to fill up now. Once again, Crash teeters on the brink of elimination. Finally, the crowd wakes up as The Rock comes out at #24. He goes right after the Bossman and eliminates him with ease. Sadly, Snow and Val stop The Rock from getting rid of anyone else for the time being. Our #25 entrant is Billy Gunn, who targets The Rock upon his entrance. The Rock DDTs Crash and then launches him out of the ring. This prompts Hardcore to come over and attack The Rock. The Big Show comes out at #26 and is immediately met by The Rock. These two have an issue after Show took offense with The Rock calling him a jabroni (*rolls eyes*). Show goes over by Test, who is on the apron, and boots him to the floor. Well, Test gets the longevity award for tonight. Now Show dumps Gangrel out of the ring. As Show continues his dominance, Bradshaw comes out at #27. Right behind him is the Mean Street Posse. Bradshaw fends them off, but then is tossed out himself by the Outlaws. Now the Acolytes and the Posse brawl down the aisle. We’re paired up again as it’s Val & Albert, Show & Road Dogg, Hardcore & Gunn, and The Rock & Snow. Through hellfire and brimstone, Kane is out at #28. He comes in and immediately throws out Val. Now he goes after Road Dogg, who is still clutching the bottom rope like a security blanket. Kane clotheslines Albert out of the ring, but no one notices because they’re all watching the Godfather come out with the hos at #29. One last time, our favorite Chinese (he’s Japanese!) guy, Funaki, comes out and one last time he’s thrown out of the ring. We close with a wimper rather than a bang as #30 is X-Pac.

We now begin to weed out the crap as Snow clotheslines Hardcore out of the ring. The Godfather charges at Show, but Show clotheslines him right out. Now The Rock eliminates Snow. Road Dogg finally gets up to, of all things, laugh at Snow and wouldn’t you know it, he gets dumped too…by Billy Gunn. Don’t understand that one. However, Gunn barely enjoys the moment before Kane clotheslines him to the floor. Our final four are now: The Rock, Big Show, Kane and X-Pac. The Outlaws drag Kane to the outside and attack him. As the officials try to stop them, The Rock tosses X-Pac out of the ring. Since no one saw that, X-Pac gets back into the ring. Kane and Show try to chokeslam each other to no avail. Kane is able to hit Show with an enziguri and then slam him. However, X-Pac comes over and hits Kane with a spinning heel kick that knocks him out of the ring. Then X-Pac gives the Bronco Buster to Show. Show quickly gets back up and press slams X-Pac to the floor. The Rock delivers a spinebuster to Show and then connects with the People’s Elbow. As The Rock tries to eliminate Show, he puts on the brakes and chokeslams The Rock. Show tries to dump The Rock, but The Rock hangs onto the top rope and propels Show to the floor. The Rock is 2000 Royal Rumble winner.

Postmatch: The Rock gets on the mic and says he’s going to Wrestlemania, but Show comes back out and attacks The Rock. We end the show with him telling The Rock that this isn’t over.

Bottom Line: There were a handful of fun moments here, but overall this is a middle of the road Rumble. Its main problem was a lack of suspense. The only two likely candidates were The Rock and Big Show and since Show was coming off an unsuccessful title run, it was pretty much The Rock’s to win. Since those were the two main candidates, I would have liked if they would have teased out the final minutes between them to add some more drama. Overall, an ok Rumble that was without a moment that has stood the test of time, unless you count Taka’s face splat. *** ¾

Royal Rumble Rewind: 1998

When Stone Cold Steve Austin won the Rumble in 1997, it was a surprise to many. The same couldn't be said by '98 when Austin-mania was running wild and he was the closest thing to a lock when it comes to Rumble winners.

1998 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the San Jose Arena in San Jose, CA

#1 is Cactus Jack and he’s brought garbage cans with him. Interestingly enough, Cactus’ recent tag team partner Chainsaw Charlie (aka Terry Funk) is #2 and he has his chainsaw with him. We get a hardcore start to the Rumble as they use the weapons they brought plus chairs. Both men take some wicked chair shots to the head. Tom Brandi (the former Salvatore Sincere) is #3, but both guys in the ring gang up on him and eliminate him right away. Arrivederci! Now the hardcore legends go back to beating each other up. After suplexing Chainsaw onto two chairs, Cactus tries to dump him, but pulls him back in as #4, The Rock makes him way to the ring. The Rock briefly is able to divide and conquer until Cactus nails him with the garbage can. Cactus then puts the can on The Rock and he and Chainsaw play pinball with him. After Cactus knocks The Rock through the ropes, he celebrates, only to get a lowblow from Chainsaw. Mosh comes out at #5 and almost gets nailed with a chair that was thrown out of the ring by Chainsaw. We’ve now separated into Cactus/The Rock and Chainsaw/Mosh. Chainsaw goes for a moonsault, but doesn’t quite hit it. #6 is Phinneas and you can hear the energy just leave the crowd upon his entry. Cactus tries to suplex Mosh out of the ring, but can’t get him up. 8-Ball is out next at #7 and you wonder why they just didn’t have him come out one number later. Cactus charges at Chainsaw, but Chainsaw ducks and Cactus eliminates himself. A disappointingly early night for Mick Foley. Or is it?? The Rock comes close to eliminating Chainsaw, but he holds on. Blackjack Bradshaw is #8, as the streak of suck continues. Everyone is just wandering around doing nothing interesting at all. #9 is Owen Hart, who comes out to a big pop. However, before he can get into the ring, Jeff Jarrett and Jim Cornette come out and put a severe beatdown on him. It now appears that Owen won’t compete in the Rumble match. Or will he? Steve Blackman is #10 and he comes in and almost knocks Chainsaw out with his karate kicks. Phinneas is almost eliminated by Blackman, but The Rock makes the save.

Nation member #2 and entrant #11 is D’Lo Brown. Our pairings now are Blackman/The Rock, Phinneas/Mosh, Chainsaw/8-Ball and Bradshaw/D’Lo. Unfortunately, no one is close to being eliminated. Stables apparently mean nothing as The Rock and D’Lo begin to go at it. #12 is Kurrgan, who immediately goes into no-selling mode. Mosh tries mounting Kurrgan in the corner, but Kurrgan dumps him out. Out to a big pop is #13 Marc Mero. Oh sorry, that pop was for Sable. The ring is filled with a lot of worthless talent right now. Kurrgan helps the problem by tossing out Blackman. Ken Shamrock comes out at #14 and goes right after Kurrgan. Soon, everyone joins him and they collectively dump Kurrgan out. The Rock hits the People’s Elbow on Chainsaw with little fanfare. #15 is Thrasher as I continue to wait for someone decent to arrive. The crowd must agree as they resigned themselves to a “Sable” chant. We get our first surprise of the night as Mick Foley is back as Mankind at #16. He goes right after Chainsaw and eliminates him to return the favor from earlier tonight. The Rock and Shamrock resume their fight in one of the corners. #17 is The Artist Formerly Known as Goldust, who’s in a new outfit that now includes bra and panties. Mero takes a breather to do some shadow boxing. Let’s hope it pays off. Goldust and Mankind tangle in the corner and Goldust manages to get him over the top rope and to the floor. Making his second (sort of) appearance tonight is Jeff Jarrett at #18. Owen Hart runs out shortly after Jarrett, gets into the ring, and immediately attacks him. Jarrett manages to throw Owen over, but he skins the cat and then eliminates Jarrett on the other side of the ring. Huge pop for that. Our second surprise comes in the form of the Honky Tonk Man, who is #19. Coming down with him is HHH (on crutches from an injury I don’t recall) and Chyna. The Rock continues to do well as he dumps Shamrock to the floor. Owen spots HHH at ringside and gives him an unkind gesture. This prompts HHH to crack him with his crutch as Chyna yanks him out. Geez, everyone’s picking on Owen tonight. Owen chases HHH to the back and trips at the entrance way. Hope he didn’t injure himself there. Speaking of injuries, it’s Mr. Glass himself, Ahmed Johnson at #20. Ahmed gingerly climbs into the ring as J.R. tries convincing us that he’s back to 100%.

Here comes Mark Henry, who is entrant #21 and Nation member #3. J.R. now begins to sound like Tobias Funke when describing Henry attacking Ahmed by saying he’s “handling the big Johnson”. This ring is getting majorly bloated right now as the crowd is getting restless. Henry throws powder in Ahmed’s face, for some reason, but it doesn’t lead to an elimination. The buzzer sounds and #22 is…is…nobody. Lawler is convinced that someone got to Austin and this was supposed to be his number. Now D’Lo and Henry team up to toss out Ahmed. Then, Henry ducks a punch by Phinneas and heaves him out. Ahmed and Phinneas brawl to the back, much to my bewilderment. #23 is our fourth Nation member, Kama Mustafa. I would say strength in numbers, but these guys have been beating each other up as much as they have their opponents. Sure enough, there goes Kama and D’Lo duking it out. CRASH! Here comes Stone Cold out at #24. Everyone in the ring stops and looks toward the aisle, but Austin enters through the crowd and blindsides Mero. He quickly dispatches of him. Now everyone realizes he’s in the ring and they try ganging up on him. Austin fights out of it and tosses out 8-Ball. Things settle back down, as Austin chokes D’Lo with his vest. Running out at #25 is Henry Godwinn, who goes right for Austin. #26 is evidently all of Los Boricuas. Actually, it’s just Savio, but his three stablemates join him in the ring to attack Austin. Austin manages to fend all of them off. The fifth and final Nation member, Farooq is entrant #27. He comes in and goes right after The Rock. All is not well amongst the black caucus. Now Austin and The Rock are brawling on the floor, however neither is eliminated. Pulling a three-peat, Mick Foley is back out again, this time as Dude Love at #28. He makes an immediate impact by knocking out Bradshaw, who was trying to eliminate Henry Godwinn at the time. As things wind down, Chainz strolls out as #29. D’Lo is whipped into Farooq, who backdrops him out of the ring. We remain in punch and kick mode, despite there only being one entrant left. That entrant comes out and it’s none other than Vader. He first attacks Goldust, but then takes a moment to eliminate Honky. Let the mass exodus begin! Austin dumps Thrasher and Kama in rapid succession. Shortly after that, Austin knocks out Savio, while Goldust clotheslines Vader out of the ring. Dude Love ducks a charging Henry Godwinn, who eliminates himself. Chainz grabs Goldust and heaves him out of the ring. Austin backdrops a charging Chainz to get rid of him. Farooq manages to get Henry over the top rope, but he hangs onto the apron. However, as Henry tries to get back into the ring, Farooq knocks him to the floor. Isn’t it amazing how all those guys held strong for so long and then just like that, they were all eliminated in a matter of seconds.

All joking aside, we’re now left with a Final Four of Farooq, The Rock, Dude Love and Austin. Former tag champs vs. current faction members. Dude takes on Farooq, while Austin and The Rock go at it. Now they switch and Dude hits Sweet Shin Music and a double-arm DDT on The Rock. Austin shows why he is the Texas Rattlesnake by then attacking Dude. Dude comes back, however with the Mandible Claw. Austin breaks it by going low. That allows Farooq to then clothesline Dude out of the ring. Farooq goes after Austin and The Rock decides to let him do all of the work. As Farooq gets close to eliminating Austin, The Rock comes up and dumps Farooq. We’re down to two and they begin to slug it out. Austin tosses The Rock over, but he hangs onto the apron. The Rock comes back in, only to receive a Stunner for his troubles. Austin takes the woozy Nation member and eliminates him for good to win his second Rumble in as many years.

Bottom Line: This Rumble was bookended nicely with a pair of entertaining segments. However, the middle was just dreadful. Way too many guys stayed in well past their welcome and it was tough to make the match compelling. As I said before the match, they only told one story leading up to the match and as a result, it took a lot of drama away from the Rumble. There were a few nice surprises, but a lack of star power really hurt this one. ***