Royal Rumble Rewind: 2007

While they had and would have longer and more notable face-offs, the Shawn Michaels/Undertaker mini-match that caps off this Rumble helps it stand out from many of the others in its history.

2007 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the AT&T Center in San Antonio, TX

This year’s Rumble starts off with style as Ric Flair is #1. He’s gone an hour before to win it, but that was 15 years earlier. And things don’t start off easy for him as Finlay is #2. Finlay tries to overpower Flair to begin, but he comes back with some chops. Finlay hoists Flair up, but Flair rakes his eyes before he can toss him out. #3 is Kenny Dykstra and he had issues with Flair at this time. As Dykstra puts the boots to Flair, Finlay comes up from behind him and tries to toss him out. Participating in his second match tonight is Matt Hardy out at #4. We’ve paired off now with Dykstra and Hardy going at it and Flair tussling with Finlay. Nobody’s been eliminated yet, but that may change because Edge is out at #5. He comes in and hits spears on Flair and Finlay. Hardy is able to avoid one and then hits Edge with a Twist of Fate. Flair goes outside and brings a chair into the ring. Before he can use it though, Edge grabs him and throws him to the floor. In response, Dykstra mocks the Flair strut, but Edge grabs him and throws him out as well. Nice! Tommy Dreamer is the #6 entrant and he goes right after Edge. #7 is another ECW representative, Sabu. Before getting in the ring, he sets up a table on the outside. He then comes in and attacks his hardcore brethren, Dreamer. Gregory Helms is #8 and he attacks Hardy, who he was feuding with at the time. Finlay comes close to eliminating Sabu, but he’s able to put on the brakes. #9 is Shelton Benjamin and he tries to make an impact by eliminating both Dreamer and Hardy, but both guys manage to hang on. That table Sabu set up remains untouched, but I can’t imagine that will stay that way for much longer as they’ve already made several elimination teases near it. The ring is starting to fill up, but have no fear because Kane is out at #10 to thin the herd. His first victim is Tommy Dreamer. He backdrops Sabu over the top rope and then chokeslams him off the apron and through the table. See told ya.

It’s clobbering time because C.M. Punk is out at #11. He opts to go right after Edge. Putting the ‘royal’ in Royal Rumble is King Booker at #12. He comes in and immediately dumps Helms. Nobody else is real close to being eliminated at the moment. #13 is Super Crazy. That prompts JBL to start busting out some of his racist jokes. #14 is Jeff Hardy and he teams up with his brother to attack everyone. Even with as many guys in the ring as there are, they’re able to hit Kane with Poetry in Motion. If you’ve begun to smell stale beer, it’s because Sandman has emerged at #15. He starts attacking everyone with a kendo stick, but before he can really get rolling, Booker tosses him out. Looks like we’ve got our Bushwacker winner of the night. Sidenote: it’s probably unfair to keep calling this the Bushwacker award since there have been other guys like the Warlord and Mo who have had far shorter durations in this match than either of those two guys. Eh, who cares. Bushwacker award works. Finlay tosses Jeff Hardy over, but he skins the cat to come back in. Punk manages to do the same thing after Kane attempts to throw him out. Edge’s partner at this time, Randy Orton is the #16 entrant. He teams up with Edge to quickly eliminate Super Crazy and both Hardyz. They could become a force in this match. #17 is Chris Benoit and he attacks everyone in the ring. JBL as an announcer is like a human Wikipedia – providing endless useless facts, only some of which are accurate. Rob Van Dam is out at #18 and he too takes shots at everyone. Kane grabs Booker and throws him out. This displeases the King. Booker comes back in the ring and hits Kane with an axe kick. He then throws Kane over the top rope and brawls with him on the outside. This would be their feeble attempt at starting a feud with these two. As the referees try to separate those two, Viscera comes out at #19. Lawler stupidly asks if anyone can get the 400 lbs. Viscera out despite the fact that he has announced several Rumble matches in which one guy has been able to eliminate him. Johnny Nitro enters at #20 and unsuccessfully tries to throw out RVD. Benoit throws Benjamin over the top rope and he shows some incredible strength by holding onto the bottom rope and avoiding having his feet touch the floor.

Kevin Thorne is #21 and if you don’t remember this guy, don’t worry. This match is only five years old and I barely remember the guy. Pro wrestling was one of the few places where the vampire craze never really took off. RVD hits Viscera with several clotheslines, but cannot get him over the top rope. There are too many guys in there right now and with Hardcore Holly coming out at #22, we’ll have to wait at least another 90 seconds before a mass exodus will take place. Benjamin monkey flips RVD over the top rope, but he manages to hang on. Virtually everyone in the ring works together to try and get Viscera out. No one is paying attention to that, however, because Shawn Michaels is out at #23. He takes on Finlay and makes quick work of him. Michaels then superkicks Viscera, which is enough for the rest of the entrants to then propel him over the top rope and out. Benjamin charges at Michaels, but gets backdropped out of the ring. Man, Benjamin never could catch a break against Michaels. That thins things out somewhat. #24 is Chris Masters and receives zero response from the crowd. At least JBL has enough sense to mock him. Nitro goes up top, which is never a good move. It still holds true here as Benoit knocks him out. Chavo Guerrero is #25 and he goes after Masters. Meanwhile, Benoit continues to do his part in eliminating deadweight by dumping Thorne. MVP is #26 and his theme song tells us (warns us?) he’s coming. RVD dropkicks Masters who falls out of the ring in comedic fashion. Orton gets Punk over the top rope, but Punk does a good job of managing to hang out. Getting the lucky #27 (more guys have won from this spot than any other) is Carlito. Chavo and RVD team up in an attempt to eliminate Michaels. #28 is The Great Khali and I’d imagine we’ll get a mass exodus here. He delivers headbutts to everyone in front of him. Everybody but Khali is now down on the mat. Now he begins to eliminate people starting with Holly. The Miz enters at #29 and immediately gets thrown out by Khali. I think he just took the Bushwacker award away from Sandman. Meanwhile Khali has now also eliminated Benoit, RVD, Punk, Carlito, and Chavo. Before he can toss out anybody else, The Undertaker comes out at #30 to round out the field. Those two slug it out with neither one dropping. Taker blocks a Khali bomb attempt and then clotheslines Khali out of the ring. Taker grabs MVP and connects with Old School. He then dumps him out of the ring.

That brings us to our Final Four of The Undertaker, Shawn Michaels, Randy Orton, and Edge. A solid quartet comprised of all legitimate contenders. Taker tosses Edge, but he manages to hang on. Behind him, Orton nails Taker with a chair. Edge starts to go for a spear, but Orton sees him. Orton thinks his partner was trying to double cross him, while Edge claims he was going for Taker. Orton stops bickering with Edge long enough to give Michaels an RKO. Edge and Orton now team up to attack Taker. Taker has been busted open from Orton’s chair shot. Taker manages to comeback and clotheslines both of them. He then hits Edge with Snake Eyes and a big boot. As he attempts to chokeslam Orton, Edge hits him with a spear. Edge then blasts Taker with another chair shot. They attempt to hit Taker with a Con-chair-to, but Michaels gets back up. He backdrops Orton out of the ring and then superkicks Edge out. We’re down to Michaels and Taker. Both of them are down and then situp/kip up at the same time. Michaels attempts a 10-punch count, but Taker shoves him down. Now Taker sends Michaels to the corner and slugs away at him. Taker whips Michaels to the corner where he does his flip, flop, and fly sell. Taker goes for a big boot in the corner, but misses and falls to the apron. Michaels tries to knock Taker off the apron, but Taker blocks it. As they slug it out, the crowd chants for ‘HBK’. Taker drops Michaels with a big boot. Taker lifts Michaels over the top rope, but he hangs on. Both men go to the top rope, but Michaels knocks Taker down. He follows that up with a flying elbow. With Taker down, Michaels begins to tune up the band. He goes for the superkick, but Taker blocks it and then hits him with a chokeslam. Taker picks up Michaels for a Tombstone, but Michaels escapes and connects with Sweet Chin Music. Michaels goes for another kick, but Taker ducks it and dumps him to the floor for the victory.

Bottom Line: After a mostly forgettable effort, that was quite the finish. We got a 10 minute mini-match between two legends. What made it even better is that either guy could have won it, which left the finish in doubt. With that victory, Taker made history by becoming the first guy to win the Rumble at #30. Prior to the Michaels/Taker stuff this was a disappointing Rumble that failed to yield any memorable spots. As is the case with most of the weaker Rumbles, you had too many guys staying in for too long. And it was also frustrating to see them give such a worthless stiff like Khali the ‘Diesel push’ and have him eliminate a fifth of the roster by himself. The finish saves this one, but doesn’t do enough to make it a great Rumble. ***

One last Party

While Nintendo has all but given up releasing titles for the Wii as they gear up to launch Wii U, there is one final title we have to look forward to - Mario Party 9, the first one specifically made for the Wii (Mario Party 8 was originally created for the Gamecube and then converted for the Wii). Mario Party 9 has a U.S. release date of March 11th. In the meantime, you can check out what's in store for this latest addition (there appears to be some intriguing changes) in this new trailer that just hit the web.

Royal Rumble Rewind: 2006

Starting with this one, the rest of these Royal Rumble review will be new content that has not been posted anywhere else. Enjoy!

2006 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the American Airlines Arena in Miami, FL

As if things weren’t bad enough that this Rumble is getting a midcard slot, we kick off this year’s match with a cheer from the Spirit Squad. Even though they’re uber-annoying, the crowd can barely muster the energy to boo them. Not a good sign. They certainly wake up though upon seeing that Triple H is #1. #2 is Rey Mysterio, who comes out to the ring in a low ride. He drapes one of Eddie Guerrero’s shirts on the hood. Mysterio is dedicating the match to Guerrero who had passed away two months prior. Mysterio uses his speed to gain an early advantage on HHH. He delivers a 10-punch count on HHH as the crowd chants ‘Eddie’. HHH avoids a 619 as Simon Dean rolls out on his Segway at #3. Dean puts the boots to Mysterio as HHH looks on. When Dean asks for a high five from HHH, he gets punched instead. Mysterio and HHH team up and dump Dean to the floor together. As Mysterio connects with a Bronco Buster, Psicosis enters at #4. Psicosis takes it to both guys. As he tries to do a Razor’s Edge on Mysterio, Rey reverses it into a hurricanrana and sends Psicosis out of the ring. Whooo, it’s Ric Flair at #5 and he has issues with HHH. He chops and punches away on HHH. It should be noted that as these two go at, Rey is just lying on the mat. Something he’ll be doing a LOT in this match. Flair makes a charge, but HHH backdrops him out of the ring. Before HHH can catch his breath, Big Show is out at #6. He too was at odds with HHH at this time. Show lays some vicious chops in on HHH as Mysterio continues to lie down. Mysterio gets up long enough to receive a headbutt from Show and he’s back down again. Show delivers a series of elbow drops on HHH. Jonathan Coachman, yes announcer Jonathan Coachman comes out at #7. He foolishly tries to attack Big Show. Show turns around and piefaces Coach right out of the ring. Looks like he’s getting the Bushwacker award tonight. Show returns his focus to HHH as Rey continues to lie on the mat. Bobby Lashley is #8 and he has a staredown with Show. Show attempts to chokeslam him, but Lashley escapes and then backdrops him. Lashley whips Mysterio hard to the corner, so he’ll probably be down for another 5 minutes from that. Big Show’s tag partner at that time, Kane is #9. He slugs it out with Lashley in the proverbial ‘irresistible force meeting the immovable object’ battle. Lashley connects with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex to Kane. After press slamming HHH, Lashley hits Kane with the Dominator. The power moves are nice, but the name of the game is eliminating people, something he hasn’t done yet. #10 is Sylvan and he tries to forge a partnership with Lashley. However, he quickly attempts to double-cross him, which doesn’t end well. Lashley quickly grabs him and heaves him out of the ring. Big Show and Kane are both back up now. They give Lashley a tandem chokeslam and then casually eliminate him. The two tag partners actually go at it while Mysterio and HHH are still lying down. Show and Kane try to eliminate each other when HHH comes up and dumps both of them out of the ring.

#11 is Carlito. He puts the boots to both Mysterio and HHH. Carlito hits Mysterio with the backstabber. That should give Mysterio another reason to take a breaker. Chris Benoit comes out at #12 and delivers chops and suplexes to everyone in the ring. Finally, an infusion of energy into this match. Benoit puts Carlito into the Crossface until HHH breaks it up. Benoit tries to suplex HHH out of the ring, but HHH blocks it and crotches him on the top rope. Benoit knocks HHH down and then connects with the flying headbutt. You better dig it sucka because #13 is Booker T. He goes right after Benoit, who he’s been feuding with recently. Benoit blocks Booker’s elimination attempt and quickly hiptosses him out of the ring. Man Booker gave Coach a run for his money there. Although to be fair, Booker was dealing with a groin injury that probably prevented him from being able to fully compete in this match. Benoit goes back to squaring off against HHH while Carlito has to pick up Mysterio in order to get him to do something. One half of MNM, Joey Mercury, is #14. He attacks everyone until Benoit catches him with a German suplex. The pairs are now Benoit/HHH and Mercury/Carlito leaving Rey to…you guess it…lie on the mat. #15 is Tatanka as a surprise entrant. If that’s the best they can do for a surprise return, things don’t look good for this match. His appearance prompts the Miami crowd to begin the ‘Tomahawk Chop’ chant. Lots of punching and kicking right now with no one near elimination. Mercury’s tag partner, Johnny Nitro is #16. Benoit gets HHH over the top rope, but he manages to hang on. Lawler suggests that Eddie divinely gave Mysterio the #2 entry so he could watch him for a long time. If Eddie has nothing better to do than watch Mysterio laze around for an hour then the afterlife must be extremely boring. #17 is Trevor Murdoch. HHH grabs Mysterio and throws him over, but Mysterio hangs on. He comes back into the ring and immediately clutches the bottom rope. Apparently HHH can’t take the hint that Mysterio has no interest in being active tonight. Another surprise entrant is the returning Eugene at #18. Murdoch punches him, but Eugene no sells it. Eugene gives him an airplane spin that makes both of them dizzy. #19 is Animal from LOD and I’m surprised he can still find shoulderpads that fit over his stomach. We’ve got way too many guys in there right now and most of them are complete losers. #20 marks the big return of Rob Van Dam, who had been out for nearly a year with a knee injury. He delivers kicks to everyone who comes within distance of him. Animal charges at him, but he backdrops him out of the ring to clear some deadweight.

Orlando Jordan is #21, but frankly I think I would have preferred the other OJ. At least he knows how to eliminate people. What? Too soon? RVD heaves Carlito over the top rope, but he manages to hang on. Now the guy who should have been dedicating this match to Eddie, his cousin Chavo comes out at #22. He goes after Mysterio, no doubt miffed at him stealing his rightful dedication. He now delivers Eddie’s Three Amigos to Joey Mercury. Chavo goes up top to deliver a frog splash, but HHH shoves him to the floor before he can deliver the move. So apparently Eddie had no interest in offering his actual family any divine intervention in this match. There’s still way too many guys in there. Matt Hardy enters at #23 as we still wait for a top guy to come out and do some house cleaning. MNM team up and hit Tatanka with the Snapshot. That’s enough to eliminate him. He’s Super…he’s crazy…he’s Super Crazy and he’s also #24. More punching and kicking and a whole lot of nothingness. Oh thank heavens it’s Shawn Michaels at #25. He attacks everyone in sight. Then he gets productive by dumping Murdoch out of the ring. I was hoping for more than just that though. That loud sigh of indifference you hear is the indication that Chris Masters is out at #26. Matt Hardy and HHH come close to eliminating each other, but both manage to hang on. Shawn Michaels uses a headscissors to try and eliminate Mercury, but his partner grabs him to prevent him from going out. The world’s largest love machine, Viscera is our #27 entrant. He grabs Matt Hardy and gives him the Walrus. And if you don’t know what that is, consider yourself lucky. I’m sure Matt created a whiny YouTube video complaining about being treated like that. Hardy tries to give Viscera the Twist of Fate, but Vis picks him up and throws him out of the ring. Led to the ring by his momma, Shelton Benjamin comes out at #28. Meanwhile Benoit manages to unceremoniously eliminate Eugene. It’s yet another surprise entrant as #29 is Goldust. Still more punching and kicking. And if you’re wondering is Rey Mysterio is lying on the mat, well he is. #30 is Randy Orton and I wonder what he did in order to get that number. He runs in and immediately eliminates Benoit. Given how much worthless talent is still in the ring, that seemed unnecessary.

With all entrants out we still have over a third of them still in this match. Carlito and Masters team up to eliminate Viscera. As Masters celebrates, Carlito takes the opportunity to throw him out of the ring as well. Let it be known that nobody will ever confuse Chris Masters for an intelligent man. Goldust grabs Carlito and is able to hit him with Shattered Dreams. However, he then gets blindsided by an RVD kick, which knocks him out of the ring. Meanwhile Orton gets Jordan over the top rope and knocks him off the apron to eliminate him. Shawn Michaels hits HHH with the flying forearm. Before he can get rolling, MNM attack him from behind. They attempt to give him the Snapshot, but he escapes. He then manages to eliminate both of them single-handedly. Michaels turns around only to be hit with a kick by Benjamin. Michaels recovers and gets him over the top rope. Benjamin hangs on, but Michaels hits him with Sweet Chin Music to officially eliminate him. Shawn is cleaning house! But before he can do any more damage, ‘No Chance in Hell’ plays and out comes Vince McMahon. From the outside he starts jawing at Michaels. As Michaels yells back, Shane McMahon runs out of nowhere and throws him out of the ring. Michaels realizes this and chases after him. Before he can do that, HHH cuts him off. Michaels escapes a Pedigree attempt and then runs to the back to go after Shane. That was majorly disappointing. Back to the ring when an RVD spin kick sends Carlito out of the ring. We’re now down to our Final Four consisting of RVD, Randy Orton, but our #1 and #2 entrants, HHH and Rey Mysterio. Mysterio calls over RVD, no doubt asking if he can do all the work for him. They team up to work over HHH and Orton. RVD goes up top for a frog splash, but HHH crotches him. HHH then catapults Mysterio into RVD, causing him to fall down to the floor and be eliminated. Now Orton and HHH, former Evolution teammates work together against Mysterio. Mysterio is able to divide and conquer though. He drops both of them to the second rope and hits a tandem 619. Orton goes for an RKO on HHH, but he blocks it and hits him with a spinebuster instead. HHH attempts to give Mysterio a spinebuster, but he reverses it into a ‘rana that sends HHH up and over. HHH is stunned. We’re down to Orton and Mysterio. HHH pulls Mysterio out of the ring and sends him into the steps. He then puts him back in the ring to leave him for Orton. Orton picks up Mysterio who is deadweight. As he tries to eliminate him, Mysterio once again reverses it into a ‘rana which sends Orton out of the ring and gives Rey the win.

Bottom Line: This is by far my least favorite Rumble. On the action alone, this would have been already near the bottom. There were very few memorable spots and the roster was one of the weakest of the decade. But what makes this one stand out among other lackluster Rumbles is Rey Mysterio’s ‘performance’. There are so many grating things about it. While he had always been a top star, he got a huge push merely because his friend Eddie passed away. These nauseating levels at which the announcers tried to sell Rey’s success as divine intervention was aptly dubbed ‘Eddiesploitation’ around the Internet. It’s also annoying that Rey’s victory broke the longevity record as he lasted over 62 minutes. When Flair went an hour in ’92, he delivered offensive moves from bell to bell. And yet Mysterio goes into the record book for basically lying on the mat for an hour. I don’t mean to sound bitter, but this one leaves a bad taste in my mouth. *

Newport News

In case you missed it last week, here's a look at Paul Rudd on Parks and Recreation playing Bobby Newport, Leslie Knope's opponent in the race for city council.

Royal Rumble Rewind: 2005

Once again in 2005, the Rumble match marked the dawn of a new era. Two rising stars were beginning to emerge and it took a little longer than expected to determine which one of them would come out victorious in this match.

2005 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the Savemart Center in Fresno, CA

#1 is Eddie Guerrero and #2 is Chris Benoit. At that time it was a dream opening pair. Now, like so many other great moments from that time they are just a grim reminder of what has happened. The two go through some feeling-out moves to kick things off. Before they can truly get going, #3 is out and it’s the $1,000,000 Tough Enough winner, Daniel Puder. Puder opts to go for a mic and announces that he’ll make history by being the first Tough Enough winner to win the Rumble. Benoit and Guerrero don’t take too kindly to that and decide to take out their anger on him. It quickly becomes a game of who can chop him harder. Guerrero delivers the Three Amigos as Hardcore Holly comes out at #4. So things are getting worse for young Puder, since we know Holly hates rookies. Holly decides to get in on the chopfest as Puder is just getting brutalized in there. After an Alabama Slam, Holly does the honor of eliminating Puder. As The Hurricane comes out at #5, Benoit and Guerrero sneak up behind Holly and throw him out. Benoit and Guerrero team up against the Hurricane, but suddenly Guerrero turns on Benoit and tries to eliminate him. Benoit hangs on though and they go back to the Hurricane. Hurricane gets a brief moment of offense before Guerrero backdrops him out of the ring. #6 is Kenzo Suzuki and I look forward to more domination from Benoit and Guerrero. After briefly teaming up, Benoit decides to return the favor and try a sneak attack on Eddie, but he too manages to hang out. Appearing for the second time tonight, Edge is out at #7. He goes after Guerrero, while Benoit and Kenzo continue to go at it. Rey Mysterio enters at #8 and he goes after everyone. Kenzo tries to slam Rey, but Rey escapes and then delivers a hurricanrana to eliminate him. #9 is Shelton Benjamin and that is quite the atheletic fivesome in there right now. Shelton slugs away on Edge, while Benoit tries to get rid of Rey. Eddie comes over and tries to eliminate Benoit. Benoit almost suplexes Eddie out of the ring, but Rey stops them. Booker T is the #10 entrant and he goes after Edge. As Rey and Shelton teeter on the top rope, Eric Bischoff decides to walk down to the ring.

#11 is Chris Jericho and the ring continues to be filled with awesome talent. Jericho hits everyone in his path as Teddy Long now decides to make his way down to the ring. Hmm, something seems to be a-brewing. Making it eight men in the ring now, Luther Reigns enters at #12. Soon, the wrestlers realize that there are four RAW and four Smackdown guys in the ring. They take sides and suddenly go at it, West Side Story style to match the theme of this year’s show. Nicely done. The brand warfare suddenly comes to a halt as Muhammad Hassan comes out at #13. The entrants surround Hassan as he looks to the sky. Everyone quickly has enough of that and beat him up. After putting the boots to him, Rey hits him with a 619 and then as a group they collective throw him out. Politically incorrect? Probably. Crowd-pleasing? You better believe it. And then we come down from that high by seeing Orlando Jordan come out at #14. Why can’t he receive the same treatment as Hassan? Everyone pairs off and Shelton is the closest to eliminating someone, that being Chris Jericho. He manages to hang on though. As if Orlando Jordan wasn’t bad enough, now we get Scotty 2 Hotty out at #15. Thankfully, an upset Muhammad Hassan attacks him before he even gets in the ring and puts him in the camel clutch. It appears Scotty’s night is over before it even began. A lot of people are close to going out, but everyone is still hanging on. #16 is Charlie Haas and he goes after everyone. Suddenly Booker gets on a roll and eliminates Luther and Orlando Jordan. He celebrates that with a Spin-a-rooni, but that allows Rey to dropkick him and Guerrero to eliminate him. Rene Dupree is out at #17 and has brought FiFi with him. Haas quickly grabs Dupree and drops him across the top rope. Then it’s a brief World’s Greatest Tag Team reunion as Shelton and Hass double-team Dupree with the alley-oop splash. Shelton hops up onto the top rope, but Edge shoves him off and to the floor to eliminate him. #18 is Simon Dean, who apparently needs to do some more exercises before he gets into the ring. Back inside, Edge sneaks up behind Guerrero and tosses him out. He then dances like Eddie to draw more heel heat from the crowd. The crowd perks back up again as Shawn Michaels is out at #19. Simon Dean has made it into the ring, but is still exercising. Shawn spots him and immediately dumps him out. Haha, nice. Edge tries to corner Rey, but he’s too quick for him. Haas tries punch away on Shawn, but Shawn dumps him to floor. Whooo! It’s Kurt Angle out at #20. He comes in and gives suplexes and Angle Slams to everyone in sight. He tries for one on Shawn, but he escapes. Shawn goes for Sweet Chin Music, but Kurt puts him in the ankle lock. Shawn escapes and then hits the superkick to quickly eliminate Kurt. Wow!

Huge groans from the crowd as Jonathan Coachman comes out at #21. Coach tries a sneak attack on Benoit, but when that doesn’t work, he runs away and grabs a rope. Rey and Jericho come close to eliminating each other, but to no avail. Mark Jindrak is #22, but no one cares because we’re all focused on Kurt Angle who has come back into the ring and thrown out Shawn Michaels. Angle then grabs the steps and throws them at Shawn. With Shawn busted open, Kurt puts him in the ankle lock. The usual bunch of idiots come out to finally break it up. And that’s how you create a Wrestlemania feud! With order now restored, we get our #23 entrant in the form of Viscera. Everybody is sort of milling around as Paul London enters at #24. Dupree knocks him down and then does his French Tickler. Jericho comes up behind him and throws him out. He then does his own version of the dance, which is better received by the crowd. #25 is John Cena who has two tons of hardware to take off before he can get into the ring. He comes in and immediately runs into Viscera. Viscera charges and Cena is able to backdrop him out of the ring. Snitsky enters at #26 and hits everything in his sight. London hops on Snitsky’s back and tries to apply a sleeper. Snitsky pulls him off and onto the apron. Snitsky then clotheslines him off the apron in one of the sickest bumps ever. London’s 360 flip onto the floor is something to behold. With Snitsky looking strong, it seems appropriate that Kane now comes out at #27. Those two go at it as EMTs tend to London. Kane delivers chokeslams to everyone in sight, but doesn’t eliminate anyone. Finally he grabs Jindrak and throws him out. Coach tries attacking Kane from behind, but that doesn’t work. However, before Kane can attack him, Snitsky knocks him down. With everyone down, Batista enters at #28. He immediately makes an impact by clotheslining Snitsky out of the ring. Big ‘Batista’ chant from the crowd. Batista now goes after Kane and dominates him. Batista catches a charging Jericho and throws him to the mat. The Peeps can celebrate now because Christian, accompanied by Tomko is #29. He goes right after that punk Cena. Cena brushes him off and goes over to pick up Kane and dump him to the floor. Rey talks with Cena and tries to team up with him. We’re left with only one man yet to come out and it is The Man, Ric Flair at #30. Flair high fives Batista and then stomps away on Coach. Batista gives Coach a spinebuster and then Flair throws him out of the ring. Batista then gives Christian a spinebuster. He then press slams him out of the ring and onto Tomko. A disappointing night for Captain Charisma. Flair and Batista now team up on Benoit and eliminate him. Suddenly Flair tries to double-cross Batista and throw him out, but Batista doesn’t budge. Batista looks at him, but before he can do anything Edge and Rey attack him. Edge then goes after Flair and throws him out of the ring. More boos for Edge.

Just like that we’re down to the Final Four of Edge, Batista, Rey Mysterio and John Cena. A good crop of new talent there. Edge manages to get spears on Batista and Cena. He goes for one on Rey, but Rey avoids it. Rey then hits Edge with a 619. Edge recovers and throws Rey over the top rope. Rey hangs on, but then Edge spears him and eliminates him for good. Edge charges at Batista and Cena, but they backdrop him to the floor. We’re down to two! The two stare at each other before slugging it out. Cena gets Batista up for the FU, but Batista blocks it by grabbing the ropes. Batista escapes and then sets up Cena for the Batista Bomb. As Cena tries to escape that, both men end up falling over the top rope and hitting the floor. Different referees believe each man won. Both men go in the ring and both get their hand raised. Suddenly Vince McMahon struts out and tries running into the ring. As he gets in, Vince crumbles to the mat. While he sits there, both referees argue their case. We would learn after the fact that as Vince tried entering the ring, he blew out both of his quads (yeowch!), hence him sitting in the ring. Meanwhile, Batista throws Cena out of the ring. Cena comes back in and throws out Batista. Howard Finkel comes on the mic and announces that this match should restart. Cena attempts the FU, but Batista escapes. He hits Cena with a spinebuster and then throws him out to officially win the Royal Rumble.

Bottom Line: Man, if only that finish had gone off more smoothly. We still don’t know if they had planned the double elimination/restart finish or if it was an error on Cena and Batista’s part. On one hand, it provided a good gauge of how fans responded to both men. However, with both men ultimately getting title shots, they probably should have just made them co-winners right there. Aside from that finish, however, this was a tremendous Rumble. There were so many mini-stories and/or spots peppered throughout this thing that there was hardly a dull moment. This match was also successful in doing more than just establishing a #1 contender. It started up the Angle/HBK feud. It also really helped Edge as a heel as he was there until the end and had some good eliminations of crowd favorites. This would get the full monty with a smooth ending. Instead it’ll have to settle for **** ½

Who wants easy money?

As many of you know, after Netflix's price hike debacle last fall, I have been using Redbox more frequently for renting new release movies. Well I went on their website earlier today and saw that they are currently offering a promotion where you can win up to 50 cents off a movie rental simply by answering some movie trivia questions. The questions are relatively easy and they provide you with some Who Wants to Be a Millionaire style lifelines as well. It's free to sign up and all you have to do is provide an email address - something you've probably already given them if you've used their service before. Redbox is currently the cheapest route to rent movies and with this, it just got easier. If you're interested, just click on the link below. www.redboxtrivia.com

Royal Rumble Rewind: 2004

This should have been a memorable Rumble, but the tragic events surrounding Chris Benoit have put a mar on this show that many wrestling fans now refuse to watch.

2004 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the Wachovia Center in Philadelphia, PA

J.R. and Tazz are doing the announcing for this. Good. Per order by Paul Heyman, Chris Benoit has to enter #1. #2 is Evolution’s Randy Orton. Benoit begins by kicking Orton down in the corner. Orton tries to toss out Benoit, but he won’t budge. #3 is Mark Henry. Holla Holla Holla! He easily manhandles both men. As Henry works over Benoit, Tajiri comes out at #4. Tajiri lays some kicks into Orton and then hits the handspring elbow. Benoit comes over and hits Tajiri with a German suplex. Henry tosses Orton over, but he hangs on and comes back in. Bradshaw is the #5 entrant and he gives everyone a Clothesline from Hell. However, when he attempts it on Benoit, Chris blocks it and applies the Crossface. Bradshaw gets him up on his shoulders, but Benoit shifts his weight and tosses him to the floor. #6 is Rhyno and he goes after Benoit. Meanwhile, Tajiri somewhat gets Henry in the Tarantula. While in the hold, Rhyno gores Henry, which causes Tajiri to fall to the floor. Then Benoit is able to knock the woozy Henry over the top rope and to the floor. Rhyno and Orton team up against Benoit, but he won’t go out. A replay shows Tajiri had misted Henry before putting him in the Tarantula. After all that craziness, Matt Hardy comes out at #7. Hardy knocks down Rhyno and taunts, so Benoit throws him over the top rope; however he hangs on and reenters. We’re now paired off with Rhyno facing Hardy and Orton taking on Benoit. #8 is Scott Steiner and we can only hope this appearance is better than his last. He comes in and attacks everyone. Getting no response from the crowd is Matt Morgan at #9. Things have slowed down a lot with most of the guys lying down. Flying in at #10 is the Hurricane, who hits Hardy with a high crossbody. Hurricane goes after Morgan, but he grabs him and immediately tosses him to the floor. Morgan throws Hardy over, but he again hangs on.

Can you dig it? Because Booker T is out at #11. He comes in and attacks Steiner. A lot of punching and kicking right now. #12 is Kane, which should mean house cleaning time. Before he gets to the ring, Steiner is eliminated by Booker T. Kane enters and it’s chokeslams for everyone. The buzzer sounds and the Undertaker’s gong plays. Kane freaks out since he buried him at Survivor Series. Waiting to see who it is, Kane gets dumped out by Booker T. Now Spike Dudley comes out as apparently the #13 entrant. Kane grabs him and chokeslams him on the entrance ramp. That, in effect, ends his night before he even gets to the ring. We’ve paired off again as it’s Orton and Rhyno, Benoit and Hardy, and Booker and Morgan. As Rikishi comes in at #14, Benoit backdrops Rhyno out of the ring to eliminate him. Dancing his way out at #15 is Frenchman Rene Dupree. Dupree drops Hardy across the top rope and then knocks him to the floor. Dupree dances in celebration and then is eliminated himself via a superkick by Rikishi. Choo choo! It’s A-Train at #16 and he goes after Rikishi. Morgan misses a big boot on Benoit, who then tosses him to the floor. As most try to gang up on A-Train, Orton comes over and dumps out Rikishi. Now Orton shoves out Booker. As Shelton Benjamin makes his way on out at #17, Benoit is able to eliminate A-Train. Benjamin goes for a big kick on Orton, but he dodges it and throws him out. We’re down to the two men who started this thing. Shades of ’95! Benoit and Orton go at it and end up colliding with each other. With both men down, Lamont runs out to announce #18, Ernest ‘the Cat’ Miller. Those two dance as Tazz hilariously sings along. Somebody call my momma! Benoit and Orton get back up and toss out both of the dancing fools. Nice comedy spot. Orton goes after Benoit again as Kurt Angle enters at #19. I doubt he’s out here for comedy. Naturally, he goes after Benoit; picking up where they left off at last year’s Rumble. Orton gladly takes a break as they fight. Things just got a lot fruitier as #20 is Rico. As Orton gives Rico the RKO, Benoit gives Angle some German suplexes. With Rico out cold, Orton is easily able to dump him to the floor. Benoit goes for a diving headbutt, but Angle pops up top and hits him.

Test’s music plays, but nobody shows up. Suddenly, we cut backstage and see Test lying on the floor. Austin sees he can’t compete and yells at the unseen assailant that he now has to go out as the #21 entrant. We hear the tires screech and Mick Foley comes out. He naturally goes right after Orton. The two slug it out with Foley winning the exchange. Foley hits a running clothesline that eliminates both men. Despite that, Foley continues attacking him on the floor. With all the action, we nearly miss Christian entering at #22. Foley grabs the steps and lays out WWE official, Fit Finlay. He turns around and Orton waffles him with a wicked chair shot. Foley recovers and pulls out Mr. Socko. However, he applies it to Nunzio, who’s the #23 entrant. Now Foley and Orton brawl all the way to the back. Meanwhile, Christian and Benoit attempt to eliminate Angle. As the action continues in the ring, Nunzio sits on the outside and watches. #24 is the Big Show, which is a good number for a man his size. He comes in and beats up everyone. Chris Jericho comes out at #25 and immediately helps his friend Christian against Kurt Angle. Everyone gangs up on Show, but can’t eliminate him. The ring begins to fill up again as Charlie Haas enters at #26. Jericho and Christian throw Benoit over the top rope, but he manages to hang on. Now Christian tries to toss Jericho, but he hangs on as well. When Christian sees this, he comes over and Jericho manages to backdrop him to the floor. So much for that friendship. Making his ‘glorious’ (only in his mind) return is Billy Gunn at #27. He enters and hits Fameassers on Angle, Jericho and Show. Whoopee. #28 is John Cena and Show is waiting for him. But before he enters, Cena spots Nunzio still sitting on the floor and throws him into the ring. Cena then enters and gets jumped by Show. People gang up on Show again as RVD comes out at #29. Everyone kind of mills around waiting to hit the big finish. Rounding out this year’s field is Goldberg at #30. He comes in and delivers a few spears. Nunzio hops on Goldberg’s back, but he still manages to throw Hass out. Goldberg then flips Nunzio off of him and gives him a spear. He then clotheslines Gunn to eliminate him. Good! Goldberg picks up Nunzio and press slams him to the floor. That took care of all the dead weight. As Goldberg goes to jackhammer Show, Brock Lesnar runs out and nails Goldberg with an F5. Sweet! Goldberg yells at Brock, which allows Angle to come up from behind and throw him out. Even better! Everyone goes after Show, but to no avail. Show fends then all off until Jericho chopblocks him. Now everyone hits a finisher on Show. The remaining guys try to pick him up, but aren’t successful. Suddenly Show grabs Cena and throws him to the floor. RVD hops on Show in the corner, but he gets tossed to the floor too.

Our Final Four are Benoit, Angle, Jericho, and Show. I’m definitely cool with that. Show tosses Jericho, but he skins the cat. Jericho goes after Show some more. Again, he gets tossed and again he holds on. Now Jericho hits Show with a top rope bulldog. Jericho puts Show in the Walls of Jericho and he taps. Does no good here. Angle breaks up the hold and brawls with Jericho. Show grabs Jericho and then chokeslams him out of the ring. Angle manages to hit Show with the Angle Slam and then gives one to Benoit too. Angle pulls Show in the ankle lock and again Show taps. Show manages to get to the ropes and leverages himself to eliminate Angle using his legs. Wow! As Show tries to reenter, Benoit hits him with a diving headbutt. Benoit charges, but Show grabs him. Benoit escapes the chokeslam attempt and applies the Crossface. Once again, Show taps. Show gets out and hits Benoit with a sidewalk slam. At this point, Benoit has the longevity record, besting Bob Backlund’s time from ’93. Show presses Benoit, but he manages to shift and get Show in a headlock. Benoit goes over the top rope and starts dragging Show with him. Slowly Benoit keeps tugging and eventually pulls Show to the floor to win it. Benoit has gone coast to coast to win the Rumble!

Bottom Line: Benoit finally won the big one and while recent events have marred this accomplishment, there’s no denying that this was a feel good moment at the time. Even if you ignore Benoit’s victory, this ends up being a pretty fantastic Rumble. There were hardly any slow spots. You also had a few surprises and a few laughs. They also did a nice job at having a large number of stars still in it at the end who could have legitimately won it. Perhaps most important of all, this Rumble did a great job of setting up key feuds that would play out until Wrestlemanaia. That’s always a good mark of decent storytelling. This is a solid Rumble through and through. **** ¾

Star Mangled Banner

Since the Internet is abuzz with Steven Tyler's poor performance of the National Anthem, I thought I would post one of the most wonderfully awful version ever done - Leslie Nielsen as Frank Drebin posing as Enrico Pallazzo in The Naked Gun.

Royal Rumble Rewind: 2003

Yet another wrinkle was added to the Rumble match in 2003 now that the company had split into two brands. Each brand provided 15 entrants into the match and the winner would get a championship match against their brand's champion at Wrestlemania that year.

2003 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the Fleet Center in Boston, MA

One of the stories going into this match is the developing feud between Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho. Jericho was out to prove he was just like Shawn, only better. When Vince made Shawn #1, Jericho made himself #2 so that he could not only beat Shawn, but go the distance just like Shawn did back in ’95. As Shawn waits in the ring, Jericho’s music plays, but it’s revealed that it’s Christian in the aisle. Jericho comes through the crowd and attacks Shawn from behind. Jericho goes outside, grabs a chair and nails Shawn with it. Shawn’s been busted open from that. Chris Nowinski comes out as our #3 entrant, but stays at ringside to allow Jericho to continue his beatdown. With Shawn completely out of it, Jericho picks him up and dumps him over the top rope to eliminate him. Wow! Rey Mysterio is out at #4 and he immediately hits Jericho with a springboard dropkick. Those two do some more fast-paced action as Nowinski continues to look on from ringside. With Rey on the top turnbuckle, Jericho tries to shove him out, but Rey manages to hang onto the post. As Rey makes his way back inside, Nowinski finally comes in and gangs up on him. #5 is Edge, who comes out to help his friend. Edge and Rey clear Jericho and Nowinski out of the ring, but neither went over the top rope. Now Edge and Rey go at it and have a fantastic sequence with both men nearly eliminating the other. Christian enters at #6 and immediately hugs his brother Edge. Edge pretends to reciprocate the love and then spears him. Rey gets on Edge’s shoulders to do a double-team move, when Nowinski comes in and tosses both over the top rope. They both hang on and reenter by giving Nowinski tandem missile dropkicks; one of which nails him right in the face. Brutal looking spot there. As Rey gives Nowinski the Bronco Buster, Chavo Guerrero comes out at #7. Rey and Chavo do some awesome stuff with Rey connecting with the 619. After giving another one to Christian, Rey goes for the West Coast Pop on Nowinski. Nowinski blocks it, but Rey manages to ‘rana him over the top rope and to the floor. As Rey comes back in, Jericho runs over and clotheslines him out of the ring to end his night. Tajiri is the #8 entrant and he gives everyone some stiff kicks. Out #9 entrant is Bill DeMott and he hits everyone in his path. DeMott throws Jericho over, but he hangs on. We’ve paired off now with DeMott taking on Edge, Chavo battling Christian and Jericho trying to eliminate Tajiri. #10 is Tommy Dreamer and he’s brought weapons with him. Dreamer comes in and delivers cane shots to everyone. Edge grabs a cane and the two of them pelt DeMott (which I’m loving). One big cane shot by Edge is enough to knock DeMott over the top rope and to the floor. Jericho and Christian grab trash can lids and nail Dreamer. Those shots knock him out and they easily eliminate him. Tajiri attempt to put Jericho in the Tarantula, but Jericho shoves him off to end his night.

#11 is Bull Buchanan, who comes out and attacks everyone until Edge whips him into the corner and throws him out. Bull gets the Bushwhacker award tonight. Edge whips Chavo over the top rope, but he hangs on. As he tries to come back in, Edge spears him to the floor. Edge tosses Jericho, but he hangs on and reenters to dump out both Edge and Christian. Jericho left alone. He doesn’t wait long before RVD comes out at #12. RVD gets the better of Jericho in their early exchange. RVD catapults Jericho over the top rope, but he again hangs on. Now Matt Hardy appears at #13. Matt Fact: Matt strongly dislikes mustard. Matt is joined by Mattitude follower, Shannon Moore. Matt teams up with Jericho to beat up RVD. RVD recovers and plays divide and conquer. RVD hits Jericho with the Five Star Frog Splash. Matt grabs RVD and tosses him, but RVD hangs on. #14 is Eddie Guerrero and he takes on everybody. RVD attempts to eliminate Eddie, but Matt makes the save. Eddie hits RVD with the frog splash, only to be given the Twist of Fate by Matt. As Matt stands tall, Jeff Hardy enters at #15. Matt tries to make peace, but Jeff will have none of it. Jeff tosses Matt out, but Shannon Moore prevents him from hitting the floor. Jeff sets Matt up for the swanton bomb, but Shannon comes in and tries to stop him. Shannon lays on top of Matt, so Jeff just gives both of them the swanton. Our streak of decent workers ends when Rosey enters at #16. The pairs right now are Jeff/Matt, Rosey/RVD, and Jericho/Eddie. The Testicles are pleased to see Test at #17. He comes in and is dominant. He tosses out Jericho, who again manages to hang on. The buzzer rings and out comes #18, John Cena with a rap. His rhymes go on for nearly the full 90 seconds and are quite enjoyable. Even Tazz seems to get a kick out of them. Oh how I miss those days. RVD’s heard enough though, and comes out to throw him into the ring. It’s now time for #19, one half of Team Angle, Charlie Haas. The ring is filling up quickly. As Jeff goes for the corkscrew moonsault, RVD shoves him to the floor. Making his 8th Rumble appearance, the 20th entrant is Rikishi. Rikishi and Rosey briefly team up before Rosey turns on him.

Rosey’s partner in crime, Jamal, is our #21 entrant. Rikishi quickly knocks him down and gives him a stinkface. Jericho heaves RVD over, but he hangs on. #22 is Kane and hopefully he’ll clear the ring of some dead wood. He grants my wish by eliminating Rosey. Kane tosses Jericho over, but somehow he manages to hang on. Jericho has had the most near eliminations ever in the history of the Rumble. His ability to hang on has been incredible. Shelton Benjamin is #23 and he immediately does a double-team move with Haas on Cena. How great are these guys? There are several near eliminations, but nobody goes. At #24 is Booker T and he makes an immediate impact by giving Kane a scissors kick and Matt a flapjack. After doing a spinaroonie, Booker grabs Eddie and throws him out of the ring. All aboard! It’s A-Train at #25. He attacks a bunch of people, but doesn’t eliminate anybody. Suddenly, Shawn Michaels runs out and attacks Jericho. His attack allows Test to come over and toss Jericho out. Now Shawn flies over the top rope and lands on Jericho. As the referees separate those two, Maven comes out at #26. There are still no eliminations when Goldust makes his entrance at #27. Goldust attacks Team Angle and then gives Maven Shattered Dreams. Team Angle work together to eliminate Goldust. They follow that up by getting rid of Booker. That’s somewhat disappointing. #28 is Batista and he hits everything in his way. Test tries to get rid of Batista, but when he goes for the big boot, Batista ducks and Test falls all the way to the floor. Now Batista clotheslines Rikishi out of the ring. Making his second appearance of the night, Brock Lesnar comes out at #29. Team Angle try to get rid of him, but he reverses their momentum and tosses both of them out. Then Brock picks up Matt and F5s him on top of Team Angle. Everyone gets on their feet, because they know that #30 is the returning Undertaker. He makes an immediate impact by clotheslining Cena and Jamal out of the ring. Maven nails Taker with a dropkick, but doesn’t get the same result as last year. Taker grabs Maven and chokeslams him. Then he throws him to the floor. Kane and RVD team up to eliminate A-Train from the match. RVD wants Kane to press slam him onto Batista, but Kane press slams him out of the ring instead.

That leaves us with a Final Four of Kane, Batista, Taker and Brock. Kane and Batista clothesline each other. As Brock and Taker stare each other down, Kane and Batista attack them. Brock battles Batista and Kane himself and gives Kane an F5. Taker and Brock go at it and Brock gets the better of it. Taker reverses an F5 attempt and tombstones Brock. Then he runs over and clotheslines Batista out of the ring. Taker and Kane seemingly team up until Taker grabs Kane and throws him out of the ring. Batista reenters with a chair, but Taker stops him. Taker nails Batista with the chair, but Brock comes up behind Taker and dumps him out of the ring to win it.

Postmatch: Taker comes back in, but it’s just to congratulate him on a job well done.

Bottom Line: This was a highly enjoyable Rumble and had one of the best set of wrestlers in it. The first half of the Rumble was just non-stop action, which nicely utilized a lot of Smackdown’s top stars. The second half dragged a bit because eliminations were few and far between. It wasn’t as bad as it should have been, because most of the guys sticking around were ones you wanted to stay. The worst part of the Rumble was the ending. The final four wasn’t great and it was pretty clear who was winning this thing. Still, this was one of the more entertaining Rumbles in recent years. **** ¼

Power of the punch

Earlier this week, a clip from Jeopardy became viral after a contestant gave an incorrect and naughty answer. If you haven't seen the clip yet, check it out below.



And if like me you can't get enough of game show bloopers, then you'll want to check out Entertainment Weekly's list of 25 Funniest Game Show Bloopers.

Royal Rumble Rewind: 2002

In 2002, the WWF was going through some big transitions as they tried to find ways to integrate the former WCW guys into their roster. But on this night, they made sure that one of their own, the returning Triple H was front and center.

2002 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the Phillips Arena in Atlanta, GA

Rikishi is #1 and Goldust is #2. That is perhaps the oddest pairing to start off the Rumble. By the way, Goldust is one of four superstars making their big return tonight in this match. The two trade rights to begin. Rikishi hurls Goldust over, but he hangs on. Upon re-entry, Goldust goes low on him. Rikishi dumps Goldust again, but again he hangs on. #3 enters and it’s the Big Boss Man. Goldust and the Bossman try to team up, but Rikishi fends them both off. Nothing much happens when Bradshaw comes out at #4. He comes in and manhandles everyone. Rikishi knocks down the Bossman and gives him the Stinkface. Rikishi kicks the Bossman and then clotheslines him out of the ring. Lance Storm comes out at #5 and he goes after Goldust. Rikishi tries to eliminate Bradshaw, while Storm tries to get rid of Goldust. #6 is Al Snow and he attacks everything in sight. Bradshaw blasts Storm with the Clothesline from Hell, but can’t get rid of him. We’ve yet to get a major name in this Rumble as #7 is Billy Gunn. Some of my least favorite stars are in the ring right now. Gunn comes in and gets jumped by Bradshaw. Storm and Snow get each other onto the apron. Snow blocks a kick by Storm and then delivers a kick of his own to eliminate him. Bradshaw gets Goldust onto the apron, but as he tries to kick him to the floor, Gunn comes from behind and dumps him out of the ring. Suddenly things perk up because here’s the Undertaker at #8. Taker comes in and destroys everybody. Out goes Goldust, out goes Snow, out goes Rikishi and finally out goes Gunn. Taker is standing tall and standing alone. Matt Hardy has the unfortunate luck of being #9. The Hardyz have history with Taker, as he recently put both of them and Lita on the shelf. Taker quickly tries to chokeslam Matt when Lita comes in and tries to help. Taker grabs her too, but she kicks him low. Now Matt and Lita put the boots to Taker. As Taker tries to suplex Matt out of the ring, he gets saved by his brother Jeff, who’s out at #10. The Hardyz now begin to double-team Taker. They go for Poetry in Motion, but Taker catches Jeff and dumps him to the floor. Taker then gives Matt the Last Ride and eliminates him.

The sorry sap at #11 is Tough Enough winner, Maven. Taker begins to attack Maven, but the Hardyz come in and jump him again. Taker disposes of them again, but as he talks trash, Maven dropkicks him from behind and knocks him out of the ring. A huge crowd pop for that shocker. Taker comes back in the ring and begins to attack Maven. Taker takes him out of the ring and blasts him with a chair. As the beatdown continues, Scotty 2 Hotty strolls out at #12. Taker knocks down Scotty and then goes back to Maven. Taker takes Maven into the crowd and continues the assault. As Christian comes out at #13, Taker attacks Maven by the concession stand by throwing him through the glass of a popcorn cart. Neither Maven, nor Scotty have been eliminated, but since Christian is the only one in the ring, he takes a rest on the ropes. Scotty finally makes it in and dukes it out with Christian. Meanwhile, Maven for all intents and purposes has been eliminated. As they fight, DDP enters at #14. DDP hits Christian with the Diamond Cutter, but then Scotty kicks him and he falls through the ropes. Scotty then bulldogs Christian and gives him the Worm. However, DDP comes in and throws him out of the ring. The #15 entrant is Chuck Palumbo, who gets into a slugfest with DDP. We get more nothingness when the Godfather returns at #16. The Godfather brings out an entire row of hos and dances with them. While that happens, Christian and Palumbo team up to eliminate DDP off-screen. The Godfather’s antics last the whole two minutes and it’s already time for Albert to come out at #17. He comes in and manhandles everyone. As Albert tries to get rid of the Godfather, Christian and Palumbo come from behind and throw him to the floor. The Godfather attempts the Ho Train on both Christian and Palumbo. However, they both avoid it and then clothesline him out of the ring. Christian and Palumbo start to go at it when Perry Saturn arrives at #18. The three blandly fight for two minutes. The boredom ends when Austin enters at #19. Not surprisingly, he eliminates all three in quick fashion. Realizing he has time to kill, he brings Christian and Palumbo back in and eliminates them again. Austin checks his watch again and waits until another returning star, Val Venis comes out at #20. Austin brings Val in and quickly stomps a mudhole in him. Val starts to mount an offensive, but Austin comes back with the Lou Thesz Press.

Now the #21 entrant, Test makes his way to the ring. Test and Val team up to attack Austin. Heel miscommunication leads to Test giving Val the big boot. Austin is then able to clothesline Val out of the ring. Test goes for the boot on Austin, but misses. Austin then gives him a Stunner and eliminates him. As Austin waits, he gets some competition at #22 in the form of HHH, who’s recently back from quad surgery. The two do a long staredown before going at it. Just as they start going at it, the Hurricane arrives at #23. When he enters, both men are down. He tries to chokeslam both men, but they just look at him and then throw him out of the ring. Austin and HHH go at it again, when we get our #24 entrant, Farooq. Farooq tries to divide and conquer, but soon he suffers a Stunner and then gets clotheslined out by HHH. Austin and HHH continue to go at it when the best of the returning stars, Mr. Perfect joins us at #25. Perfect takes his time to come in, but then jumps Austin when he does. As Austin and HHH try to get Perfect out, he’s able to spit out his gum and swat it away. Truly awesome! Making his first Rumble appearance, here’s Kurt Angle at #26. We’ve paired off now with Angle taking on HHH and Austin squaring off against Perfect. The crowd starts a “You Suck”, “What?” chant. Nice! Angle gets close to eliminating HHH when Austin makes the save. Big Show arrives at #27 and he destroys everybody. Show’s in complete control, but he hasn’t eliminated anyone. Now Kane comes out at #28. He and Show duke it out, but nobody moves. Kane lowblows Show and then slams him over the top rope to get rid of him. Wow! Kane turns around and receives a Stunner from Austin. Angle then gives him an Angle Slam to the floor. Double wow! We’re back to that foursome duking it out. RVD enters at #29 and with perfect timing. Angle is lying on the mat, so RVD enters by giving him the Five Star Frog Splash. He then kicks down everyone and gives Austin rolling thunder. However, he turns around and receives the Pedigree from HHH. Our final entrant tonight is the five-time WCW champ, Booker T. He comes in and tosses out RVD, who was still out from the Pedigree. Major bummer there. With everyone else preoccupied, Booker decides to do a Spinaroonie. When he pops up though, he gets hit with a Stunner that knocks him over the top rope and to the floor.

We’re left with a Final Four of: Austin, Angle, Perfect and HHH. That’s a pretty awesome quartet. Angle goes for the Angle Slam on Austin, but he escapes and tries for a Stunner. Angle shoves him off and into HHH, who attempts to give him a Pedigree. Austin reverses that and catapults HHH into the turnbuckle. Angle follows that up with an Angle Slam on HHH. Awesome sequence! Now Angle gives Austin three German suplexes. Angle and Perfect try to eliminate Austin, but can’t get it done. Austin hoists Perfect up, but Angle runs up and dumps Austin to the floor. Shocking! Austin pulls Perfect out of the ring and starts to attack him. Angle comes out and throws Austin into the steps. As Angle and Perfect put the boots to HHH, Austin comes in with a chair and blasts both of them. Then he nails HHH. Perfect holds HHH for Angle, but Angle accidentally clotheslines Perfect instead. Perfect and Angle now battle. Perfect hits Angle with the Perfectplex and Perfect neckbreaker. However, HHH gets up and clotheslines him out of the ring. HHH tackles Angle and punches away on him. Angle comes back with a belly-to-belly suplex. HHH charges and Angle backdrops him over the top rope. Angle thinks he’s won, but HHH held on. HHH comes back in, gives Angle a facebuster and then clotheslines him out of the ring to win the 2002 Royal Rumble.

Bottom Line: They certainly back-loaded this Rumble. Aside from Taker’s shocking elimination, nothing interesting happened for the first 2/3rds of this Rumble. Given that they had just gained a bunch of talent from WCW, the roster for this Rumble was weaker than you would have expected. The last part of the Rumble was solid, but not strong enough to make this a great one. The returning stars were nice, but it would have been better had they been actual surprises instead of announced weeks prior to the show. In the end, the HHH win wasn’t terribly shocking, but it was the right move, given he was a top star returning from a lengthy injury. *** ½

Let's get Flyer-ed up!

Seeing this brings a smile to my face. A terrific win by the Flyers today. Way to dominate those losers from Xavier! If we can play like this every game (and not lose to junk teams like Buffalo) then we have a chance of making a splash in this year's tournament.

Royal Rumble Rewind: 2001

By 2001 the WWF was firing on all cylinders and this show kicked off a three month run of possibly the best shows ever produced in professional wrestling. The roster was an embarassment of riches, each of whom was eager to steal the show every night.

2001 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the New Orleans Arena in New Orleans, LA

Jeff Hardy is #1 and Bull Buchanan is #2. Tag team wrestlers kicking this off? Looks like no one will be going the distance this year. Bull gets Jeff on the apron early, but can’t knock him off. As Jeff tries to survive, he gets some help from his brother Matt at #3. They quickly dispose of Bull and now contemplate fighting each other. The two actually go at it until Farooq comes out at #4. The Hardyz try for Poetry in Motion on him and botch it badly. However, they recover to hit Farooq with the Twist of Fate and swanton bomb. That combo allows them to easily dump him out. The brothers go at it again when lo and behold it’s Drew Carey at #5. Drew was at this event to promote an upcoming pay-per-view special. As Drew slowly gets in the ring, the Hardyz battle on the top rope and end up eliminating each other. Drew stands alone! He is not lonely for long because at #6 through hellfire and brimstone it’s Kane! Kane takes his time getting in the ring and then does his corner pyro. Drew offers him some money, but that won’t help. Kane is about to chokeslam Drew when Raven comes out at #7 and attacks him. Drew takes that opportunity to hop over the top rope and eliminate himself. And that, my friends, is a Hall of Fame performance. After being manhandled by Kane, Raven rolls under the ring. He grabs some weapons, but soon Al Snow jumps the gun and comes out prematurely at #8. He attacks Raven on the floor, but the referees wait for the buzzer before they let him in the ring. Snow attacks Kane and Raven with a trash can lid. Then he splits Raven’s uprights with a bowling ball. As Raven and Snow abuse Kane with trash cans, Saturn comes out at #9. Saturn goes for Kane’s leg and attacks it. All 3 men gang up on Kane to try and take him down. Steve Blackman runs out at #10 and adds to this hardcore section of the Rumble with his karate sticks.

Someone who’s not hardcore, Grandmaster Sexay, is the #11 entrant. Kane grabs a trash can and attacks everybody. His shot to Sexay knocks him over the top rope and to the floor. Kane goes on a rampage and eliminates Blackman, Snow, Raven and Saturn in short order. Just as Kane tosses out Saturn, we get a shocker, as the Honky Tonk Man is #12! Honky gets on the mic and plans to sing us a song. Kane isn’t in the mood to listen, so Kane grabs his gee-tar and blasts him with it. Kane shakes his head in disbelief and then tosses him out. Very funny stuff. Out at #13 is The Rock. Wow, early number for him. The Rock is a house of fire, but can’t eliminate Kane. Their battle is interrupted by #14, the Goodfather. The Rock takes a few seconds to give him a few shots and then gives him a big one to knock him right out. The Goodfather gets the Bushwacker award this year. The mood changes at #15 because here comes Tazz. Kane immediately grabs him by the throat and throws him back over the top rope. Sorry Goodfather, Tazz just took the Bushwacker award away from you. The Rock gets Kane up on the top rope, but can’t get him over. Both men are down after The Rock hits Kane with a Samoan Drop. That’s good news for entrant #16, Bradshaw. Bradshaw takes it to both men, but can’t eliminate either of them. #17 is Albert and he goes right for Kane. We’re paired up now as Albert tries to eliminate Bradshaw and Kane goes after The Rock. Coming out to zero reaction is Hardcore Holly at #18. Bradshaw and Hardcore come very close to eliminating The Rock. Now The Rock almost gets rid of Kane. K-Kwik is #19 and he goes after Albert. We’ve suddenly hit a lull in the match. Kane and Bradshaw hit power moves on Hardcore and K-Kwik respectively. That damn siren blares again as Val Venis comes out at #20. The ring is now filling up quickly.

Here to wave to all his people is our goodwill ambassador, William Regal at #21. Regal attacks anyone and everyone he sees. Our pairings are now Val/Bradshaw, Hardcore/The Rock, Albert/Kane and K-Kwik/Regal. Test is #22 and he makes an immediate impact by tossing out Regal. Back from fat camp is the returning Big Show at #23 and he looks bigger than ever. Show makes himself known by dumping Test and K-Kwik quickly. Then it’s chokeslams for everybody else that’s left. However, when he tries one of The Rock, he goes low. A few punches and a clothesline later and The Rock eliminates Show, just like that. Show clears off the announce table and grabs The Rock. Amid the chaos, Crash Holly comes out at #24. Show now takes The Rock and chokeslams him through the announce table. Meanwhile, everyone left, gangs up on Kane. As they try to eliminate him, here comes #25, The Undertaker. Taker fends off all of them to save Kane. Oh yeah, they like each other again now. Sheesh! Taker gets rid of Bradshaw and Hardcore. Kane, meanwhile, eliminates Crash and Albert. Now Taker throws out Val. Only the Brothers of Destruction remain in the ring, but The Rock is still in the match. Before the brothers can go at it, Scotty 2 Hotty comes out at #26. The two team up and just murder Scotty before mercifully dumping him out of the ring. I love it! The Rock is now slowly starting to get up. The brothers wait for the next entrant and they get their money’s worth because here comes Austin at #27. However, before he can get into the ring, HHH runs out and attacks him. The Rock gets back in the ring and Kane and Taker go after him, while HHH attacks Austin in the aisle. We see Austin’s been bloodied as Billy Gunn races out at #28. Ha! Lots of luck Billy. Kane stomps away on Gunn, while Taker and The Rock go at it. We get yet another surprise as Haku is #29. Where did he come from?!? He comes in and takes it to both Taker and Kane. J.R. and Lawler get into this great, heated debate over the fairness of HHH attacking Austin. To nobody’s surprise, it’s Rikishi at #30. Rikishi sees a bloodied Austin in the aisle and attacks him. Austin fights back and throws him into the ring. Now Austin stops a mudhole in Gunn. Yes! Austin then goes over and knocks Haku out of the ring. Taker chokeslams Rikishi as J.R. tells us that Kane has been in there for 50 minutes. Rikishi nails Taker with a superkick that sends him over the top rope and to the floor. Wow! Now Rikishi splashes The Rock in the corner. Rikishi goes for the Banzai Drop, but The Rock gives him a low blow and then dumps him out.

We have our Final Four and it’s Austin, The Rock, Kane and Billy Gunn. Why is Gunn still in there? Why couldn’t Taker or Rikishi last longer? Gunn blocks a Stunner and gives Austin the Fameasser. Give me a break! Gunn tries to throw him out, but Austin reverses it and sends Gunn to the floor. Good! Get him out of here! Now Austin and The Rock meet face-to-face and go at it. The Rock goes for a Rock Bottom, but Austin escapes and then hits him with a Stunner. Austin now connects with the Lou Thesz Press on Kane. As he gets up, The Rock nails him with the Rock Bottom. The Rock grabs Kane and tosses him, but Kane goes through the middle ropes. As Austin and The Rock try to eliminate each other, Kane comes back in and nails both of them. Austin hangs on, but The Rock falls to the floor. We’re down to two. Austin charges at Kane, but Kane grabs him and delivers a chokeslam. Kane grabs a chair and brings it into the ring. Austin stops him from using it, though. Austin escapes a Tombstone attempt and stunners Kane. Austin grabs the chair and gives Kane three big chairshots. With Kane staggering, Austin is able to clotheslines Kane to the floor. Austin wins it and is going to Wrestlemania!

Bottom Line: This was one hell of a Rumble. There were hardly any slow spots in this match. Between the comedy with Drew, the hardcore segment, and the stacked finish, there was always something to keep the crowd entertained. Not to mention, they provided a number of surprise entrants who were all effective. Unlike some Rumbles, this one had a number of stars at the end who could have won it. Some may criticize Austin winning his third Rumble, but given where they were headed, it was the right call. I also have to give credit to Kane, who delivered one hell of a performance. That was one of the most dominant Rumble performances in the history of the match. All in all, there’s very little to complain about this Rumble. **** ½

Slowey recovery

It appears the Indians didn't waste any time in moving on past Fausto...er...I mean, Roberto Hernandez. From their website:

The Indians acted swiftly in trying to protect their rotation depth.

On Friday, Cleveland completed a trade with the Rockies, acquiring right-hander Kevin Slowey and cash ($1.25 million) in exchange for Minor League reliever Zach Putnam. Slowey will compete for a spot in the Tribe's rotation during Spring Training.

The fact that there is even a competition at all is a sudden development. Cleveland's rotation composition was drastically altered on Thursday, when the starter known to date as Fausto Carmona was arrested outside the United States consulate in the Dominican Republic for using a false identity. The pitcher's actual name is believed to be Roberto Hernandez Heredia.

Indians general manager Chris Antonetti insisted that the club did not acquire Slowey as a direct response to the situation involving Carmona.

"There's obviously some uncertainty with Fausto's situation," Antonetti said. "But as we've talked about throughout the course of the offseason, we've looked for opportunities to improve the team in any way we can. This is a guy we've had interest in for a while.

"For a lot of reasons, this made sense. Certainly, with the uncertainty about Fausto's situation, it gave us maybe a little more clarity about how he'll fit on the club."

Antonetti went as far as to say that the Indians have tried to acquire Slowey in the past.

"We've tried to trade for Kevin multiple times when he was with the Twins," Antonetti said. "Our interest in him has been longstanding. We've actually had dialogue with the Rockies for the better part of the offseason and, ultimately, were able to align at the right value at the right time."

Slowey would presumably compete against right-hander Jeanmar Gomez and lefty David Huff for the lone vacancy on the staff. Slowey does have a Minor League option remaining, so he could be sent to Triple-A Columbus without consequence. Antonetti noted that Slowey was not being considered as a bullpen option at this point.

Carmona was released from jail on Friday, but it is not clear how long it will be before he is able to return to the United States. The pitcher was instructed by Dominican authorities to remain in his native country while prosecutors continue an investigation into the matter.

It is unlikely that Carmona -- the Tribe's Opening Day starter a year ago -- will be in Arizona in time for his team's Feb. 19 Spring Training reporting date for pitchers and catchers. At this point, it is not even clear if Carmona will be a part of the Indians' rotation during the upcoming season.

The Indians are currently working to sort through their options.

Antonetti declined to comment on the matter.

"At this point, we're going to continue to refrain from commenting until we have a little more clarity," he said. "We're still in the process of trying to get some additional information to work through that situation."

The general manager did note that Indians manager Manny Acta has spoken with Carmona.

"Manny's talked with Fausto directly," Antonetti said. "We've had numerous conversations with his representatives as well as people in Major League Baseball and other authorities."

One possibility is that the club will place the pitcher on Major League Baseball's restricted list until the situation is resolved. Under that scenario, Carmona would not receive any of his $7 million 2012 salary until he returned to the United States.

In the meantime, Slowey gives the Indians an extra arm to throw into the mix.

"We feel that we've added and improved the quality of our starting pitching alternatives," Antonetti said. "After stringing together a number of good years with the Twins, Kevin struggled a little bit last year with some minor injuries.

"Our scouts that saw him last year feel he has the ability to get back to where he's been in the past to help our Major League team."

As things currently stand, Justin Masterson and Ubaldo Jimenez figure to compete for the Nos. 1-2 roles on the Indians' starting staff. Right-handers Josh Tomlin and Derek Lowe -- the latter acquired earlier this winter in a trade with Atlanta -- project to occupy to more spots.

Gomez and Huff, who both have Major League experience, follow that foursome on the Tribe's depth chart. Behind them are Minor Leaguers Zach McAllister, Scott Barnes and Corey Kluber.

The 27-year-old Slowey is coming off a subpar season, during which he went 0-8 with a 6.67 ERA in 14 appearances (eight starts) for the Twins. The righty was traded to Colorado on Dec. 6 and promptly avoided arbitration with his new team by inking a one-year contract worth $2.75 million for 2012.

In his big league career, which includes stints with the Twins in parts of five seasons, Slowey has gone 39-29 with a 4.66 ERA across 100 appearances. Between the 2008-2010 seasons, the righty compiled a 35-20 record with a 4.36 ERA. Over that span, Slowey struck out 314 and walked 68 in 406 2/3 innings.

Overall last year, Slowey went 1-11 with a 5.26 ERA in stops at three different levels in the Twins' system. Besides pitching for Minnesota, he spent time with Class A Fort Myers, Triple-A Rochester. Slowey landed on the disabled list twice last year due to a right shoulder issue and an abdominal strain.

Putnam, 24, had a shot at competing for a spot in the Indians' bullpen during Spring Training. The right-hander spent the bulk of 2011 with Triple-A Columbus, where he went 6-3 with a 3.65 ERA in 44 outings. In 69 innings of work, Putnam struck out 68 and walked 23.

"In the end, we felt like we had some depth in the bullpen," Antonetti said. "In order to improve our rotation, it necessitated moving a guy like Zach. We're excited to have Kevin in the organization and excited to see him come into Spring Training to compete for a job."

Royal Rumble Rewind: 2000

Entering into a new decade and century, the WWF rolled along. Despite Steve Austin being on the shelf at the time, the WWF continued to pump out entertaining shows and this one is no exception, thanks in part to a raccous New York crowd.

2000 Royal Rumble

Emanating from Madison Square Garden in New York City, NY

D’Lo Brown and Grandmaster Sexay have drawn #1 and #2 respectively. A pretty boring opening two if you ask me. Sexay dances, so D’Lo attacks him. Good move. D’Lo goes to powerbomb Sexay, but in a scary looking spot, Sexay reverses it into a hurricanrana. We don’t need another Droz incident, thank you very much. Sexay tosses D’Lo, but he hangs on. Mosh comes out at #3. Soon after, Kaientai, who were snubbed from the Rumble, come out and try to attack the combatants. However, they’re quickly disposed of. Sexay sloppily bulldogs D’Lo, who lands right on Mosh’s leg. Mosh appears to have legitimately hurt his ankle. #4 is Christian, who is greeted by Mosh. Not a whole lot happening thus far. Rikishi is the #5 entrant and he receives a big pop. Rikishi comes in and quickly eliminates Mosh. Then Christian suffers a similar fate. D’Lo gives Rikishi a legdrop, but that is no sold and Rikishi gets up to give him the Rikishi Drop. He easily eliminates him after that. Just as Rikishi starts to go after Sexay, Scotty 2 Hotty comes out at #6. Instead of fighting, the three decide to dance. I find this moronic and stupid, but the crowd eats it up. After busting a move, Rikishi grabs both Sexay and Scotty and tosses both of them out. Well, that almost made up for the dancing. The unfortunate next entrant is Steve Blackman at #7. Blackman gets some brief offense before suffering a Rikishi Drop himself. Just like that, he’s gone too. I think we have our Diesel push right here. The competition gets bigger at #8 with Viscera. The two slug it out and then Viscera drops Rikishi with a belly-to-belly suplex. Rikishi comes back with three stiff kicks and then a shoulderblock to knock him out of the ring. The Bossman comes out at #9 and you just hear this audible groan from the crowd. The Bossman refuses to get into the ring, but Test comes out at #10 and attacks him. He sends him into the ring, where Rikishi beats him up.

#11 is the British Bulldog and he goes after everyone. We’re paired up now as Test and the Bossman duke it out and the Bulldog tries to eliminate Rikishi. At #12 Gangrel comes out, but that doesn’t matter, because right behind him are Kaientai. They try to interfere again, and once again they’re unceremoniously dumped. As Test and Gangrel battle in the corner, Rikishi gives them a butt splash. We see on a double feature that Taka Michinoku took a nasty face first bump when he was tossed out. Edge comes out at #13 and is almost eliminated by the Bulldog within his first 30 seconds in the ring. Then, in a shocker, who shows up at #14? Bob Backlund! Sweet! He gets in and is jumped by the Bossman and the Bulldog. All of a sudden, everyone teams up and dumps Rikishi from the ring. Crowd doesn’t like that one. A big pop for the #15 entrant, Chris Jericho. He makes an immediate impact by dropkicking Backlund out of the ring. Back to the campaign trail for Bob. Here comes one of the Rock’s biggest threats, Crash Holly at #16. The Bulldog and Edge grab Crash and try to eliminate him, but he crawls back in under the bottom rope. Chyna is the #17 entrant and she goes right after Jericho. Jericho backdrops her to the apron, but then she suplexes him out of the ring. As she gloats, the Bossman bumps her off the apron to quickly end her night. As Farooq comes out at #18, the Mean Street Posse, also snubbed from the match, come out and jump him. The Posse are thrown out, but so is Farooq. Not quite sure what’s going on there. #19 is Road Dogg and he goes after Test. The Bossman tosses Crash, but again he crawls back in under the bottom rope. As Al Snow comes in at #20, the Bulldog goes out at the hands of the Road Dogg. Everyone seems to be sluggish right now waiting for the next mass exodus.

Once again an entrance is overshadowed by extra participants. This time, it’s the #21 entrant, Val Venis, who is overshadowed by Funaki, who feebly tries to wreck havoc on the entrants. This gives Jerry Lawler another excuse to show the replay of Taka falling on his face. The #22 entrant is Prince Albert and nobody cares. Meanwhile, Snow and Val backdrop Edge out of the ring. For some reason, Road Dogg has grapevined himself to the bottom rope. Hardcore Holly is #23 and the ring is really starting to fill up now. Once again, Crash teeters on the brink of elimination. Finally, the crowd wakes up as The Rock comes out at #24. He goes right after the Bossman and eliminates him with ease. Sadly, Snow and Val stop The Rock from getting rid of anyone else for the time being. Our #25 entrant is Billy Gunn, who targets The Rock upon his entrance. The Rock DDTs Crash and then launches him out of the ring. This prompts Hardcore to come over and attack The Rock. The Big Show comes out at #26 and is immediately met by The Rock. These two have an issue after Show took offense with The Rock calling him a jabroni (*rolls eyes*). Show goes over by Test, who is on the apron, and boots him to the floor. Well, Test gets the longevity award for tonight. Now Show dumps Gangrel out of the ring. As Show continues his dominance, Bradshaw comes out at #27. Right behind him is the Mean Street Posse. Bradshaw fends them off, but then is tossed out himself by the Outlaws. Now the Acolytes and the Posse brawl down the aisle. We’re paired up again as it’s Val & Albert, Show & Road Dogg, Hardcore & Gunn, and The Rock & Snow. Through hellfire and brimstone, Kane is out at #28. He comes in and immediately throws out Val. Now he goes after Road Dogg, who is still clutching the bottom rope like a security blanket. Kane clotheslines Albert out of the ring, but no one notices because they’re all watching the Godfather come out with the hos at #29. One last time, our favorite Chinese (he’s Japanese!) guy, Funaki, comes out and one last time he’s thrown out of the ring. We close with a wimper rather than a bang as #30 is X-Pac.

We now begin to weed out the crap as Snow clotheslines Hardcore out of the ring. The Godfather charges at Show, but Show clotheslines him right out. Now The Rock eliminates Snow. Road Dogg finally gets up to, of all things, laugh at Snow and wouldn’t you know it, he gets dumped too…by Billy Gunn. Don’t understand that one. However, Gunn barely enjoys the moment before Kane clotheslines him to the floor. Our final four are now: The Rock, Big Show, Kane and X-Pac. The Outlaws drag Kane to the outside and attack him. As the officials try to stop them, The Rock tosses X-Pac out of the ring. Since no one saw that, X-Pac gets back into the ring. Kane and Show try to chokeslam each other to no avail. Kane is able to hit Show with an enziguri and then slam him. However, X-Pac comes over and hits Kane with a spinning heel kick that knocks him out of the ring. Then X-Pac gives the Bronco Buster to Show. Show quickly gets back up and press slams X-Pac to the floor. The Rock delivers a spinebuster to Show and then connects with the People’s Elbow. As The Rock tries to eliminate Show, he puts on the brakes and chokeslams The Rock. Show tries to dump The Rock, but The Rock hangs onto the top rope and propels Show to the floor. The Rock is 2000 Royal Rumble winner.

Postmatch: The Rock gets on the mic and says he’s going to Wrestlemania, but Show comes back out and attacks The Rock. We end the show with him telling The Rock that this isn’t over.

Bottom Line: There were a handful of fun moments here, but overall this is a middle of the road Rumble. Its main problem was a lack of suspense. The only two likely candidates were The Rock and Big Show and since Show was coming off an unsuccessful title run, it was pretty much The Rock’s to win. Since those were the two main candidates, I would have liked if they would have teased out the final minutes between them to add some more drama. Overall, an ok Rumble that was without a moment that has stood the test of time, unless you count Taka’s face splat. *** ¾

Slumming it

Here's a pair of trailers for distinctively low-budget, independent films that somehow managed to rope in big name stars. Both show promise, but ultimately may be too odd to draw in large crowds.

Royal Rumble Rewind: 1999

Writer Vince Russo can be credited with a lot of successes during the 'Attitude Era' of professional wrestling, but booking a Royal Rumble match was not one of them. The 1999 match is a display of him at his finest or worst, depending on how you look at it.

1999 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the Arrowhead Pond in Anaheim, CA

Austin and Vince McMahon are #1 and #2 respectively and this is the first time they’re officially meeting in a match. The bell rings and Austin immediately attacks Vince and stomps a mudhole in him. Austin teases throwing Vince out, but then opts to keep him in for more abuse. #3 comes out and it’s Golga. As Austin hits the Lou Thesz Press on Vince, Golga attacks him. Austin recovers and dumps Golga out. Vince, meanwhile, crawled under the bottom rope and left ringside. Austin goes and follows him through the crowd. As they leave the arena, Droz comes out at #4 and waits. Austin and Vince go into a women’s restroom and we see the entire Corporation are in there and they attack Austin. Two minutes pass and Edge is the #5 entrant. Both men try to eliminate the other with no success. Sparklers and all, Gillberg is out at #6. “Gillberg” chant begins throughout the arena. Gillberg poses in the ring and is immediately shoved out by Edge. Hilarious! Droz clotheslines Edge, as we see Austin knocked out on the bathroom floor. Edge misses a corner charge and Droz tries to get him out. #7 is Steve Blackman, who goes after Droz. That doesn’t matter though as we cut back to Austin being tended to by paramedics. #8 is Dan Severn, who I forgot was still around by this point. He comes in and jumps Blackman. Again, it doesn’t matter, as we rather show Austin being put into an ambulance. Out at #9 is Tiger Ali Singh and they barely acknowledge his entrance because they rather show Austin. The Blue Meanie is #10 as we have some real A-list talent in the ring right now. Everyone pairs off and it’s Meanie vs. Tiger, Edge vs. Droz, and Blackman vs. Severn. Meanie does his dance for everyone’s amusement.

The buzzer sounds for #11, but no one shows. Soon, we cut to the back and see Mabel, who just returned earlier tonight on Sunday Night HeAT, attack Mosh. Mabel comes out and I guess he’s taken over the #11 spot. Mabel comes in and immediately knocks out Severn and Blackman. Then he clotheslines Tiger out of the ring. Road Dogg comes out at #12 to finally wake up the crowd. Meanwhile, Mabel has eliminated the Meanie and Droz. Edge low blows Mabel and then goes after Road Dogg. Road Dogg ducks a charging Edge and backdrops him out of the ring. As Road Dogg and Mabel go at it, the lights go out and the Undertaker’s music begins. The lights come back on and Mideon and the Acolytes have taken Mabel out of the ring. Taker meets Mabel in the aisle and tells him something before the Ministry takes him away. Oooookay. Road Dogg, meanwhile, is left in the ring, waiting. Finally, we get entrant #13 and it’s Gangrel. It doesn’t take long before Road Dogg tosses him out. Once again, he’s left waiting. Kurrgan comes out at #14 and is able to take control. As Kurrgan works Road Dogg over in the corner, Al Snow enters at #15. Snow and Road Dogg try to eliminate Kurrgan, but soon Road Dogg sees an opportunity and just pushes Snow to the floor. #16 is Goldust and he goes after Road Dogg. Goldust tries for Shattered Dreams on Road Dogg, but Kurrgan stops him. Now Road Dogg tries to do Shattered Dreams on Goldust, but Kurrgan stops him as well. Out to a big pop is The Godfather at #17. As Kurrgan & Road Dogg and Goldust & The Godfather square off, the crowd chants “We want hos”. The buzzer sounds and the lights go out. Kane is the #18 entrant. He comes in and eliminates everyone in the ring. Crowd popping huge for Kane. Soon, a bunch of guys in white coats come out for him. He fends some off and chases after others. Unfortunately, the dummy walked over the top rope to do it and he’s eliminated. And now the fans are waiting for anyone. Ken Shamrock is #19 and he’s forced to wait. However, as he walks down to ringside, we see Mr. McMahon return and he joins the commentary team. Hobbling to ringside is Billy Gunn at #20 Badd Ass tries to press slam Shamrock, but can’t complete the move due to his injured ankle. Shamrock is tossed over, but he holds on.

As Test comes out at #21, we see outside the arena that the Ministry have thrown Mabel into a hearse. As that happens, an ambulance drives up to the arena and it’s being driven by Austin. Austin comes out to ringside as the buzzer sounds for #22, the Bossman. Austin chases Vince into the ring, but Shamrock stops Austin and Vince heads back to the announce table. Shamrock’s attack is fleeting as Austin eliminates him shortly thereafter. The Bossman goes after Austin, while Test and Badd Ass go at it. HHH comes out at #23 and goes right after Test. The Bossman tries to eliminate Austin, but HHH stops him; only to try and eliminate Austin himself. Entrant #24 is Val Venis and when he comes in, he’s greeted with a HHH clothesline. Badd Ass works over Austin in the corner, but Austin quickly recovers and heaves him out of the ring. #25 is X-Pac and he goes after Test. The pairings are now Austin/Val, Bossman/HHH, and X-Pac/Test. It’s Sexual baby. Sexual Chocolate, that is, and he’s #26. The Bossman and Henry work over Austin until miscommunication leads to Henry nailing the Bossman. Jeff Jarrett comes out at #27 and he attacks X-Pac. X-Pac and HHH team up to beat up Jarrett, but then X-Pac delivers a spinning heel kick to HHH. Every man for himself! Now X-Pac gives the Bossman the Bronco Buster. LOL moment of the night, as you can hear HHH say to Val, “If I throw you, can you hang on?” #28 is D’Lo Brown and he’s not alone. He’s accompanied by Jacqueline and Terri Runnels, who’s in a completely see-thru top. Test attacks Austin, but soon the Rattlesnake dumps him over. Now the Bossman heaves X-Pac out of the ring. Jarrett and the Bossman try to get Austin over, but are unsuccessful. Austin hits the Lou Thesz Press on Jarrett and then HHH throws him out. Just as Jarrett exits, his tag partner, Owen Hart enters at #29. Austin leaves the ring momentarily and dumps water on Vince. Making history at #30 is Chyna.

She immediately goes after Henry and within seconds eliminates him. However, Austin comes right behind and clotheslines her out. HHH and Austin go at it while Owen takes on D’Lo and the Bossman and Val square off. Val tries to go after Austin, so HHH throws him out of the ring. That gives Austin enough time to give HHH the Stunner and eliminate him. Four are left in the ring, but five are still able to win. Austin sidesteps a D’Lo dropkick and then works him over in the corner. Owen delivers an enziguri to Austin, but Austin comes back and eliminates him. We’re officially down to the Final Four of Austin, the Bossman, D’Lo and Mr. McMahon. As odd of a Final Four as you’ll ever see. The Bossman uppercuts Austin and D’Lo connects with the frog splash. However, the Bossman comes up behind D’Lo and throws him out. By this time, Austin is back up. He stuns the Bossman and clotheslines him out. Now Austin goes out to Vince and they brawl by the announce table. After fighting through the crowd, Austin brings Vince back to ringside and nails him with a chair. In the ring, Austin stands over Vince when Vince delivers a low blow. However, Austin recovers and hits Vince with a Stunner. Austin hits Vince with an elbow from the second rope. All of a sudden, The Rock comes down to ringside. The Rock gets on the apron and he tussles with Austin. As they fight, Vince comes from behind and dumps Austin out. Mr. McMahon is the winner of the Royal Rumble.

Postmatch: Austin and The Rock fight to the back, while Vince celebrates by downing a couple of cold ones with Shane and the Stooges.

Bottom Line: In case you didn’t figure it out, the operative word for this Rumble was waiting and there was plenty of it. There were just way too many dead spots in a match where there should be none. And speaking of waiting, we would have to wait longer until Austin was officially the #1 contender for Wrestlemania. The finish here was a swerve for the sake of swerves. Completely unnecessary. It’s really hard to have a bad Rumble, but they sure tried their best (or worst) here. * ½

U + Mii = love

Last week's CES gave techies a closer look at Nintendo's new Wii U, which is set to be released later this year. There are still a lot of unknowns regarding this, but I think it's got a lot of potential and I can't wait for its arrival. Here's a report from IGN on their thoughts after getting a chance to play around with it.

More IGN CES 2011 Videos

Royal Rumble Rewind: 1998

When Stone Cold Steve Austin won the Rumble in 1997, it was a surprise to many. The same couldn't be said by '98 when Austin-mania was running wild and he was the closest thing to a lock when it comes to Rumble winners.

1998 Royal Rumble

Emanating from the San Jose Arena in San Jose, CA

#1 is Cactus Jack and he’s brought garbage cans with him. Interestingly enough, Cactus’ recent tag team partner Chainsaw Charlie (aka Terry Funk) is #2 and he has his chainsaw with him. We get a hardcore start to the Rumble as they use the weapons they brought plus chairs. Both men take some wicked chair shots to the head. Tom Brandi (the former Salvatore Sincere) is #3, but both guys in the ring gang up on him and eliminate him right away. Arrivederci! Now the hardcore legends go back to beating each other up. After suplexing Chainsaw onto two chairs, Cactus tries to dump him, but pulls him back in as #4, The Rock makes him way to the ring. The Rock briefly is able to divide and conquer until Cactus nails him with the garbage can. Cactus then puts the can on The Rock and he and Chainsaw play pinball with him. After Cactus knocks The Rock through the ropes, he celebrates, only to get a lowblow from Chainsaw. Mosh comes out at #5 and almost gets nailed with a chair that was thrown out of the ring by Chainsaw. We’ve now separated into Cactus/The Rock and Chainsaw/Mosh. Chainsaw goes for a moonsault, but doesn’t quite hit it. #6 is Phinneas and you can hear the energy just leave the crowd upon his entry. Cactus tries to suplex Mosh out of the ring, but can’t get him up. 8-Ball is out next at #7 and you wonder why they just didn’t have him come out one number later. Cactus charges at Chainsaw, but Chainsaw ducks and Cactus eliminates himself. A disappointingly early night for Mick Foley. Or is it?? The Rock comes close to eliminating Chainsaw, but he holds on. Blackjack Bradshaw is #8, as the streak of suck continues. Everyone is just wandering around doing nothing interesting at all. #9 is Owen Hart, who comes out to a big pop. However, before he can get into the ring, Jeff Jarrett and Jim Cornette come out and put a severe beatdown on him. It now appears that Owen won’t compete in the Rumble match. Or will he? Steve Blackman is #10 and he comes in and almost knocks Chainsaw out with his karate kicks. Phinneas is almost eliminated by Blackman, but The Rock makes the save.

Nation member #2 and entrant #11 is D’Lo Brown. Our pairings now are Blackman/The Rock, Phinneas/Mosh, Chainsaw/8-Ball and Bradshaw/D’Lo. Unfortunately, no one is close to being eliminated. Stables apparently mean nothing as The Rock and D’Lo begin to go at it. #12 is Kurrgan, who immediately goes into no-selling mode. Mosh tries mounting Kurrgan in the corner, but Kurrgan dumps him out. Out to a big pop is #13 Marc Mero. Oh sorry, that pop was for Sable. The ring is filled with a lot of worthless talent right now. Kurrgan helps the problem by tossing out Blackman. Ken Shamrock comes out at #14 and goes right after Kurrgan. Soon, everyone joins him and they collectively dump Kurrgan out. The Rock hits the People’s Elbow on Chainsaw with little fanfare. #15 is Thrasher as I continue to wait for someone decent to arrive. The crowd must agree as they resigned themselves to a “Sable” chant. We get our first surprise of the night as Mick Foley is back as Mankind at #16. He goes right after Chainsaw and eliminates him to return the favor from earlier tonight. The Rock and Shamrock resume their fight in one of the corners. #17 is The Artist Formerly Known as Goldust, who’s in a new outfit that now includes bra and panties. Mero takes a breather to do some shadow boxing. Let’s hope it pays off. Goldust and Mankind tangle in the corner and Goldust manages to get him over the top rope and to the floor. Making his second (sort of) appearance tonight is Jeff Jarrett at #18. Owen Hart runs out shortly after Jarrett, gets into the ring, and immediately attacks him. Jarrett manages to throw Owen over, but he skins the cat and then eliminates Jarrett on the other side of the ring. Huge pop for that. Our second surprise comes in the form of the Honky Tonk Man, who is #19. Coming down with him is HHH (on crutches from an injury I don’t recall) and Chyna. The Rock continues to do well as he dumps Shamrock to the floor. Owen spots HHH at ringside and gives him an unkind gesture. This prompts HHH to crack him with his crutch as Chyna yanks him out. Geez, everyone’s picking on Owen tonight. Owen chases HHH to the back and trips at the entrance way. Hope he didn’t injure himself there. Speaking of injuries, it’s Mr. Glass himself, Ahmed Johnson at #20. Ahmed gingerly climbs into the ring as J.R. tries convincing us that he’s back to 100%.

Here comes Mark Henry, who is entrant #21 and Nation member #3. J.R. now begins to sound like Tobias Funke when describing Henry attacking Ahmed by saying he’s “handling the big Johnson”. This ring is getting majorly bloated right now as the crowd is getting restless. Henry throws powder in Ahmed’s face, for some reason, but it doesn’t lead to an elimination. The buzzer sounds and #22 is…is…nobody. Lawler is convinced that someone got to Austin and this was supposed to be his number. Now D’Lo and Henry team up to toss out Ahmed. Then, Henry ducks a punch by Phinneas and heaves him out. Ahmed and Phinneas brawl to the back, much to my bewilderment. #23 is our fourth Nation member, Kama Mustafa. I would say strength in numbers, but these guys have been beating each other up as much as they have their opponents. Sure enough, there goes Kama and D’Lo duking it out. CRASH! Here comes Stone Cold out at #24. Everyone in the ring stops and looks toward the aisle, but Austin enters through the crowd and blindsides Mero. He quickly dispatches of him. Now everyone realizes he’s in the ring and they try ganging up on him. Austin fights out of it and tosses out 8-Ball. Things settle back down, as Austin chokes D’Lo with his vest. Running out at #25 is Henry Godwinn, who goes right for Austin. #26 is evidently all of Los Boricuas. Actually, it’s just Savio, but his three stablemates join him in the ring to attack Austin. Austin manages to fend all of them off. The fifth and final Nation member, Farooq is entrant #27. He comes in and goes right after The Rock. All is not well amongst the black caucus. Now Austin and The Rock are brawling on the floor, however neither is eliminated. Pulling a three-peat, Mick Foley is back out again, this time as Dude Love at #28. He makes an immediate impact by knocking out Bradshaw, who was trying to eliminate Henry Godwinn at the time. As things wind down, Chainz strolls out as #29. D’Lo is whipped into Farooq, who backdrops him out of the ring. We remain in punch and kick mode, despite there only being one entrant left. That entrant comes out and it’s none other than Vader. He first attacks Goldust, but then takes a moment to eliminate Honky. Let the mass exodus begin! Austin dumps Thrasher and Kama in rapid succession. Shortly after that, Austin knocks out Savio, while Goldust clotheslines Vader out of the ring. Dude Love ducks a charging Henry Godwinn, who eliminates himself. Chainz grabs Goldust and heaves him out of the ring. Austin backdrops a charging Chainz to get rid of him. Farooq manages to get Henry over the top rope, but he hangs onto the apron. However, as Henry tries to get back into the ring, Farooq knocks him to the floor. Isn’t it amazing how all those guys held strong for so long and then just like that, they were all eliminated in a matter of seconds.

All joking aside, we’re now left with a Final Four of Farooq, The Rock, Dude Love and Austin. Former tag champs vs. current faction members. Dude takes on Farooq, while Austin and The Rock go at it. Now they switch and Dude hits Sweet Shin Music and a double-arm DDT on The Rock. Austin shows why he is the Texas Rattlesnake by then attacking Dude. Dude comes back, however with the Mandible Claw. Austin breaks it by going low. That allows Farooq to then clothesline Dude out of the ring. Farooq goes after Austin and The Rock decides to let him do all of the work. As Farooq gets close to eliminating Austin, The Rock comes up and dumps Farooq. We’re down to two and they begin to slug it out. Austin tosses The Rock over, but he hangs onto the apron. The Rock comes back in, only to receive a Stunner for his troubles. Austin takes the woozy Nation member and eliminates him for good to win his second Rumble in as many years.

Bottom Line: This Rumble was bookended nicely with a pair of entertaining segments. However, the middle was just dreadful. Way too many guys stayed in well past their welcome and it was tough to make the match compelling. As I said before the match, they only told one story leading up to the match and as a result, it took a lot of drama away from the Rumble. There were a few nice surprises, but a lack of star power really hurt this one. ***