Gladiators ready? Nope!

So I caught the premiere of the new American Gladiators and was less than encouraged by what I saw. Clearly, the powers that be brought the show back figuring that there were plenty of fans of the original version, yet they abandonded many of the show's aspects that made it enjoyable. First of all, they got rid of the memorable theme music. Bad move right away. They've also virtually done away with the commentating during the events. Hosts Hulk Hogan and Laila Ali only do cheesy pre and postmatch interviews. There is some lame voice over guy who speaks during the action, but his lines consist of bad puns rather than any sort of insightful commentary. Finally, I know it was unlikely but I missed referee Larry Thompson. Interestingly enough, however, I believe the new referee is the guy who played the referee in the Dodgeball movie.

There are also several other new additions which are unwelcome. Most glaring is the excessive time spent on the contestants' personal lives. I don't care if they're a single mother of three or a down on his luck firefighter. The only thing that matters is how well they do in the competition. Their efforts in the games should tell a sufficient story about them. Another annoying thing is the egregious use of instant replay. I don't need to see someone fall from the joust podium five different ways. Between these and the endless amount of pointless interviews, the show feels very bloated. They could easily cut away most of that and have time for another event (they only participate in four before the eliminator right now).

The new version did have a few positives however. The new crop of gladiators seems decent and I like how they've done more to make them distinctive (ie a gladiator with frizzy hair and a beard called Wolf) rather than just "Meathead Gladiator #1" or "Lesbian Gladiator #2). They also added a few new games which all seem decent and sufficiently difficult. I even enjoyed how they added songs in defeat like "Another One Bites the Dust", although I think it should be reserved only for when the gladiator is defeated. Finally, I'll say that the eliminator is badass. It's much longer than any previous version and is a true test of endurance. My only complaint about it is that it is so long and difficult that the time penalty given to the second place contestant heading into the eliminator is rendered moot. As seen a couple of times last night, even a big head start, like 15 seconds, can easily be made up. With this being the case, it makes the contests before the eliminator somewhat pointless.

Given that this was the initial episode, hopefully some changes can and will be made. However, based on what I saw last night, this new version will be on a short leash with me. If no significant changes are made, I may just go back to the 90s version on ESPN Classic.